Just for Laughes

What's the similarity between a Thai prostitute and bungee jumping?
If the rubber breaks, you're dead!
What's the similarity between a pair of tight jeans and Kowloon Hotel?
There's no ballroom

Merry Christmas

A little boy returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on
the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from
the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he
could hardly wait to tell his parents.

As soon as he arrived home, he immediately began, "I learned all
about the very first Christmas in Sunday school today! There
wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on
camels had to deliver all the toys!

And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't
there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to
find their way around!"

Just for Laughes

During the colonial days, three friends went together to apply for a job. The prospective employer was a cocky and nasty English manager. Ah Chong was the first to be interviewed.
Manager: I'm going to ask you two simple questions, ready..?
Ah Chong: Yes Sir
Manager: What will happen if I poke your left eye with my finger?
Ah Chong: I will become partially blind, Sir!
Manager: What will happen if I poke the other eye?
Ah Chong: I will become totally blind, Sir!
Manager: Very well, wait outside�Next!
As Ali was going into the room, Ah Chong told his friend, just answer "partially blind" and "blind" and you sure pass!
Manager: I'm going to ask you two simple questions, ready..?
Ali: Yes Sir
Manager: What will happen if I poke your left �?
Ali: I will become partially blind, Sir!
Manager: What will happen if I poke�?
Ali: I will become totally blind, Sir!
Manager: Very well, wait outside�Next!
Ali came out and told Singh that Ah Chong was right, just answer "partially blind" and "blind" and you sure pass! However, the manager suspected something fishy and decided to change the questions...
Manager: I'm going to ask you two simple questions, ready..?
Singh: Yes Sir
Manager: What will happen if I cut off your left ear?
Singh: I will become partially blind, Sir!
Manager: What will happen if I cut off your other ear?
Singh: I will become totally blind, Sir!
Angry manager: Tell me how you'll go blind if I cut off
your ears?
Singh: If you cut my left ear, my turban will drop one
side and cover my left eye. If you cut off my other ear,
my whole turban will drop and cover my eyes completely.
Guess who got the job?

Just for Laughes

Helping you to imagine....
How many Irish does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One stands on top the table holding the bulb,
the other four rotates the table.
How many Chinese does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One screws in the bulb, the other one gives you
the bill.
How many Indians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Fifty. And they'll form a union after that.
How many Malays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Malays are not supposed to screw anything other
than their wives.
How many TNB workers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ten. One screws in the light bulb, nine others claim overtime.
How many MIC members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They can't reach the bulb. Somebody threw all the chairs
and tables.
How many Sarong Party Girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Sarong Party Girls don't screw anything that's yellow.

Just for Laughes

Three tourists, an American, an Indonesian and a Malaysian were having a drink at a penthouse bar in downtown Tokyo. The American ordered a bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey, took just a sip and threw the whole bottle out of the window. He explained to his astounded acquaintances "Where I come from, Jack Daniels is cheap and plentiful, so it has become a habit of of ours to do that". Not to be outdone, the Indonesian promptly lit up a Gudang Garam (clove) cigarette, took a puff and threw the whole pack out of the window. He explained " Where I come from, Gudang Garam is cheap and plentiful, so it has become a habit of ours to do that". The Malaysian, eager to impress, threw the Indonesian out of the window, and explained "Where I come from Indonesians are?."

Just for Laughes

Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?

Student: I don't know.

Teacher: They're called Turks, now what are the people of Germany called?

Student: They are called Germs.

Just for Laughes

An Ah Neh tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Delhi found himself needing to urinate badly. After a long search he could not find any place to you-know, and eventually couldn't control himself and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself.

As soon as he had just started you-know-what, a Delhi police official approached him, 'Hey, What do you think you're doing here?' ah neh tourist: 'Sorry I have to Pee' Police : 'No PP here okay ? Follow me.'

The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around. Police: 'PP here..... and have a nice day'. Pakistani tourist : 'Oh Sir, ....... that's very nice of you, is this Indian courtesy?'Police: 'No.......this is The Pakistani Embassy!'