Musa leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first
time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this
very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love
to you."
"Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we
can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Musa, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation
and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to
see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep
an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for
support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the
tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt
and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly
they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever
seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud
noises and moaning and screaming.
Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about
life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old
couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The Policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly
amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple
passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You
must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of
secret to this?"
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago, that
wasn't an ELECTRIC FENCE!!"
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Just For Laughes
Q: What is the similarity between Ah Neh and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't
come, it means you are in big trouble.
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.
Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning.
Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I
have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.
Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters
the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?!!!!!!!!!!!!
A: The boy friend's hand.
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed
his clothes.
All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't
come, it means you are in big trouble.
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.
Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning.
Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I
have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.
Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters
the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?!!!!!!!!!!!!
A: The boy friend's hand.
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed
his clothes.
All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Singh or Ah Neh - The dark Forces!
At the First Youth for Peace Interfaith Symposium organized by the Singapore Soka Association at Singapore Expo Hall, a representative each of five religions, namely Sikhism, Baha'i Faith, Catholicism, Hinduism and Buddhism, spoke on the theme "Humanizing Religions, Creating Peace".
Satwant Singh, told 4,000 youths of different religions how he had handled people who called him "Mang-ka-li", "Bayee Singh" or "Babu Singh". He said that instead of feeling offended, he would explain his religion to the persons concerned over a cup of coffee. He related his experiences to illustrate the points that misunderstanding of others' religions may cause friction and that enlightening others on one's religion is far better than flying into a rage.
In his opening speech for the symposium, Foreign Minister George Yeo underscored the role of the Government in fostering religious harmony. He pointed out that the Government must always be secular and must take into account the interests of Singaporeans as a whole and not just those of a particular religious group. Hence, from time to time, the Government must act to defuse conflicts.
Singapore disallowed publication of Danish cartoons of Prophet Muhammad in Singapore and stepped in when pictures of Jesus Christ were put on the floor of MRT stations as advertisements for the movie Da Vinci Code. When Taoist joss sticks for the Hungry Ghost Festival grew bigger and bigger, causing air pollution, and when the volume of loudspeakers used by mosques for their azan (prayer calls) were found too high, the Government consulted religious leaders before adopting compromise solutions.
Satwant Singh, told 4,000 youths of different religions how he had handled people who called him "Mang-ka-li", "Bayee Singh" or "Babu Singh". He said that instead of feeling offended, he would explain his religion to the persons concerned over a cup of coffee. He related his experiences to illustrate the points that misunderstanding of others' religions may cause friction and that enlightening others on one's religion is far better than flying into a rage.
In his opening speech for the symposium, Foreign Minister George Yeo underscored the role of the Government in fostering religious harmony. He pointed out that the Government must always be secular and must take into account the interests of Singaporeans as a whole and not just those of a particular religious group. Hence, from time to time, the Government must act to defuse conflicts.
Singapore disallowed publication of Danish cartoons of Prophet Muhammad in Singapore and stepped in when pictures of Jesus Christ were put on the floor of MRT stations as advertisements for the movie Da Vinci Code. When Taoist joss sticks for the Hungry Ghost Festival grew bigger and bigger, causing air pollution, and when the volume of loudspeakers used by mosques for their azan (prayer calls) were found too high, the Government consulted religious leaders before adopting compromise solutions.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Just For Laughes
Musharraf calls President Bush:
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to U. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs...
I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that.. Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to U. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs...
I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that.. Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Just for Laughes
Manmohan Singh and Bush:
Manmohan Singh and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen? and Manmohan, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
Manmohan turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would Worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
Manmohan Singh and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen? and Manmohan, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
Manmohan turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would Worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Something about Indian Clocks
An Indian man died and went to heaven.
When he arrived at the heaven Gate, Lord Siva said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'lllike it here."
Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere?
There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner.
It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.
Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked, "Lord Siva, what's the deal?
Why are all these clocks here in heaven? Lord Siva replied, "The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person.
Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute."
"For instance, this clock is for Aru, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move.
"Click" The minute hand on Aru's clock moved one minute. "Click" It moved another minute. "Aru must be into closing a customer right now," said Lord Siva. "The minute hand on his clock moves all day."
The man and Lord Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand. "Whose clock is this?" asked the man. That clock belongs to the Widow Achi. She is one of the finest,God-fearing, people on earth.I bet her clock hasn't moved in a year or two."
They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said,"I've seen everyone's clock but Mr. Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock?
Lord Siva smiled, "Just look up. We use his clock as a ceiling fan."
No wonder He Lost in the Malaysia Election!
When he arrived at the heaven Gate, Lord Siva said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'lllike it here."
Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere?
There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner.
It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.
Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked, "Lord Siva, what's the deal?
Why are all these clocks here in heaven? Lord Siva replied, "The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person.
Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute."
"For instance, this clock is for Aru, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move.
"Click" The minute hand on Aru's clock moved one minute. "Click" It moved another minute. "Aru must be into closing a customer right now," said Lord Siva. "The minute hand on his clock moves all day."
The man and Lord Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand. "Whose clock is this?" asked the man. That clock belongs to the Widow Achi. She is one of the finest,God-fearing, people on earth.I bet her clock hasn't moved in a year or two."
They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said,"I've seen everyone's clock but Mr. Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock?
Lord Siva smiled, "Just look up. We use his clock as a ceiling fan."
No wonder He Lost in the Malaysia Election!
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Indian Burger
In India, there are no Big Macs because the Hindu people don't eat beef.
However, they have the Maharaja Mac, which is a Big Mac made of lamb or chicken meat. There is also a vegetarian burger, the McAloo Tikki.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Bad Malaysians
The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years He had faithfullyserved the people of the nation's capital. He motioned to the nurse tocome near.
"Yes, Father?" she said.
"I would really like to see Khairy and Samy Velu before I die", whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response. Soon theword arrived. Khairy and Samy would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Khairy commented to Samy "I don't know whythe old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images."
Samy couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Samy's hand inhis right hand and Khairy's hand in his left. There was silence and a lookof serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Samy spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end ?"
The old priest slowly replied : "I have always tried to pattern my lifeafter our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
The old priest continued......"He died between two lying thieves. I wouldlike to do the same."
(For those unfamiliar with Malaysian politics, Khairy Jamaluddin is theprime minister's son in law and is widely believed among Malaysian to bethe de-facto prime minister like a back-seat driver in a car, while SamyVelu is the works minister)
"Yes, Father?" she said.
"I would really like to see Khairy and Samy Velu before I die", whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response. Soon theword arrived. Khairy and Samy would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Khairy commented to Samy "I don't know whythe old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images."
Samy couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Samy's hand inhis right hand and Khairy's hand in his left. There was silence and a lookof serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Samy spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end ?"
The old priest slowly replied : "I have always tried to pattern my lifeafter our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
The old priest continued......"He died between two lying thieves. I wouldlike to do the same."
(For those unfamiliar with Malaysian politics, Khairy Jamaluddin is theprime minister's son in law and is widely believed among Malaysian to bethe de-facto prime minister like a back-seat driver in a car, while SamyVelu is the works minister)
Friday, February 29, 2008
Singapore is a peaceful island? Not anymore...
Escape of JI leader: How can this happen in S'pore?
MANY Singaporeans reacted to news of the escape of JI leader Mas Selamat Kastari from a high-security detention centre with disbelief and incredulity.
This posting from Jordan Tan in the straitstimes.com discussion board aptly summed up the reaction of many others: 'Hello, this is Singapore. How can this happen?'
Added cc1034: 'How can a highly dangerous person escape from a highly secured prison?'
Another disbelieving reader, who goes by the monicker howaiyee, said: 'Security at the detention centre is 'tight'. He walks with a limp. Yet he managed to escape. What a shame!'
'How can we feel safe anymore?' said a worried Lim Boon Hee.
Mas Selamat, 47, who heads the Singapore Jemaah Islamiyah terror network, escaped from the Whitley Road Detention Centre at 4.05 pm on Wednesday, sparking an island-wide manhunt involving thousands of police, SAF, Gurkha and Special Operations Command forces.
The Straits Times online discussion board has also been buzzing with readers' comments, with postings coming in at 3 am in the morning. As at 2.15 pm, there were 186 postings on this issue, with 16,528 views.
Many readers expressed concern about the breach of security which allowed the terror leader to slip away.
Said raymond_lo: 'I feel throughly let down by our security men.'
A user who signed off as a 'terrified student from SCGS', said she would not be going to school on Thursday.
Several also urged the authorities to provide more information about the escape.
Said shean777: 'Please, Home Affairs Minister, say something or more importantly, DO something!'
Indeed, a user who went by the name lib27 put it bluntly: 'The whole Singapore is waiting for an answer.'
Many readers also offered tips and advice to catch the JI leader.
Suggested mr.speakersir: 'Perhaps the authorities might seriously warn Singaporeans and whoever else in Singapore about the cosequences of sheltering him.. and whoever provides leads to his whereabouts and subsequent capture should be rewarded ... Singaporeans just love rewards!' He also suggested plastering his picture island-wide, terming it the 'great Singapore terrorist hunt.'
A reader readi suggested a CCTV system that could hook up images of all passengers in taxis that could be beamed to a centralised system.
Many also rallied Singaporeans to pitch in the search for the wanted man.
Reader jchlee urged 'all to keep a lookout for this damn fella, and help the SPF nab him before he really wreaks havoc in Singapore.'
MANY Singaporeans reacted to news of the escape of JI leader Mas Selamat Kastari from a high-security detention centre with disbelief and incredulity.
This posting from Jordan Tan in the straitstimes.com discussion board aptly summed up the reaction of many others: 'Hello, this is Singapore. How can this happen?'
Added cc1034: 'How can a highly dangerous person escape from a highly secured prison?'
Another disbelieving reader, who goes by the monicker howaiyee, said: 'Security at the detention centre is 'tight'. He walks with a limp. Yet he managed to escape. What a shame!'
'How can we feel safe anymore?' said a worried Lim Boon Hee.
Mas Selamat, 47, who heads the Singapore Jemaah Islamiyah terror network, escaped from the Whitley Road Detention Centre at 4.05 pm on Wednesday, sparking an island-wide manhunt involving thousands of police, SAF, Gurkha and Special Operations Command forces.
The Straits Times online discussion board has also been buzzing with readers' comments, with postings coming in at 3 am in the morning. As at 2.15 pm, there were 186 postings on this issue, with 16,528 views.
Many readers expressed concern about the breach of security which allowed the terror leader to slip away.
Said raymond_lo: 'I feel throughly let down by our security men.'
A user who signed off as a 'terrified student from SCGS', said she would not be going to school on Thursday.
Several also urged the authorities to provide more information about the escape.
Said shean777: 'Please, Home Affairs Minister, say something or more importantly, DO something!'
Indeed, a user who went by the name lib27 put it bluntly: 'The whole Singapore is waiting for an answer.'
Many readers also offered tips and advice to catch the JI leader.
Suggested mr.speakersir: 'Perhaps the authorities might seriously warn Singaporeans and whoever else in Singapore about the cosequences of sheltering him.. and whoever provides leads to his whereabouts and subsequent capture should be rewarded ... Singaporeans just love rewards!' He also suggested plastering his picture island-wide, terming it the 'great Singapore terrorist hunt.'
A reader readi suggested a CCTV system that could hook up images of all passengers in taxis that could be beamed to a centralised system.
Many also rallied Singaporeans to pitch in the search for the wanted man.
Reader jchlee urged 'all to keep a lookout for this damn fella, and help the SPF nab him before he really wreaks havoc in Singapore.'
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Big News! SG Terrorist escape Prison!
Saw the CNA latest: JI leader escape from Detention Center.
This is going to be the biggest incident this year for Singapore.
Wonder Prata man's head will roll or not.
This is going to be the biggest incident this year for Singapore.
Wonder Prata man's head will roll or not.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
How to check man is virgin
A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Singapore.
Before shel eft, her mother gave her some advice. Daughter, when you're in SG and if you're looking for a match there, you must take note of the following the requirements Mother set for you. You must find a man that is 'faithful', not 'spendthrift' and must be a virgin'. With these advice from her mother, the girl left town.
After some months later, she came home to her kampung to get her mother's blessings to marry. 'Mother, I've met my match following your instructions. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for a holiday one day, he took care of me specifically even thought here were so many prettier girls around'. Isn't that being faithful?'. Her mother nodded in agreement. 'Then, since the day was getting late in the night and rain was pouring, my boyfriend decided that we staythe night at a hotel. He also suggested that in order not to spend too much, we shared one room only'. 'Isn't he not spendthrift guy?'
For the second time her mother nodded her head in agreement, but with a little concern. 'And finally mum..., I know he is a virgin'. 'How did you know he is still a virgin?'
The mother asked with repidition.
'MMM...his 'that one' is still New......wrapped up in plastic, mum!'
Before shel eft, her mother gave her some advice. Daughter, when you're in SG and if you're looking for a match there, you must take note of the following the requirements Mother set for you. You must find a man that is 'faithful', not 'spendthrift' and must be a virgin'. With these advice from her mother, the girl left town.
After some months later, she came home to her kampung to get her mother's blessings to marry. 'Mother, I've met my match following your instructions. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for a holiday one day, he took care of me specifically even thought here were so many prettier girls around'. Isn't that being faithful?'. Her mother nodded in agreement. 'Then, since the day was getting late in the night and rain was pouring, my boyfriend decided that we staythe night at a hotel. He also suggested that in order not to spend too much, we shared one room only'. 'Isn't he not spendthrift guy?'
For the second time her mother nodded her head in agreement, but with a little concern. 'And finally mum..., I know he is a virgin'. 'How did you know he is still a virgin?'
The mother asked with repidition.
'MMM...his 'that one' is still New......wrapped up in plastic, mum!'
Monday, January 21, 2008
AH NEH Marriage Ads
Reply to a Matrimonial Ad in Bangalore
Madam:
I am an old young uncle living only with myself in Bangalore. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay.
Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.
I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do?
So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.
If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon,
Yours and only yours
Jiyo
...
You can stop laughing now, this maybe one of ur relatives.
Madam:
I am an old young uncle living only with myself in Bangalore. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay.
Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.
I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do?
So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.
If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon,
Yours and only yours
Jiyo
...
You can stop laughing now, this maybe one of ur relatives.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Just for laughes
One Ah Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America . A lady came ?asked him, "Are you relaxing?" Singh answered, " No, I am Banta Singh."
Another guy came and asked him the same question. Singh answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!"
Third one came and asked him the same question again.
Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing." The Singh slapped him on his face and said, Stupid, idiot.
Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
Another guy came and asked him the same question. Singh answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!"
Third one came and asked him the same question again.
Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing." The Singh slapped him on his face and said, Stupid, idiot.
Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
Friday, January 18, 2008
Just for Laughes
Sardar Gurbachan Neh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.
He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief' ..."
He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief' ..."
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Just for Laughes
Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.
Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel'. How does he know that?"
Ha ha... The Malaysian are watching you and making a DVD of your love life...
Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel'. How does he know that?"
Ha ha... The Malaysian are watching you and making a DVD of your love life...
Just for Laughes
Two Ah Nehs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like hell. So the other asked, "Why are you crying?"
The first one replied, "I came here for blood test"
Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid ? "
First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger...
" Hearing this the second one started crying.
The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
The first one replied, "I came here for blood test"
Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid ? "
First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger...
" Hearing this the second one started crying.
The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Just for Laughes
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, a Singh, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.
A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house he went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our Singh came again, looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever.
Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him, "Is something wrong?"
To which the ferocious Singh replied, " There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"
A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house he went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our Singh came again, looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever.
Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him, "Is something wrong?"
To which the ferocious Singh replied, " There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"
Monday, January 14, 2008
Just for Laughes
3 INDIANS and 3 FRENCH are travelling by train to a Cricket match at the World Cup. At the station, the 3 FRENCH buy a ticket each and watch as the 3 INDIANS buy just one ticket for them all.
"How are the 3 of you going to travel on only oneticket?" asks one of the FRENCH. "Watch and learn," answers one of the INDIAN.
They all board the train. The FRENCH take their respective seats but all 3 INDIANS cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please. " The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.The conductor takes it and moves on.
The FRENCH see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game,they decide to copy the INDIAN style on the returntrip and save some money.
When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for three on the return trip. To their astonishment, the INDIANS don't buy ticket at all!!! How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed FRENCH. "Watch and learn," answers an INDIAN.
When they board the train the 3 FRENCH cram into one toilet and soon after the 3 INDIANS cram into another nearby toilet.The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the INDIAN leaves the toilet and walks over to the toilet where the FRENCH are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please."The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The INDIAN takes the ticket and goes back into his toilet.
"How are the 3 of you going to travel on only oneticket?" asks one of the FRENCH. "Watch and learn," answers one of the INDIAN.
They all board the train. The FRENCH take their respective seats but all 3 INDIANS cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please. " The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.The conductor takes it and moves on.
The FRENCH see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game,they decide to copy the INDIAN style on the returntrip and save some money.
When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for three on the return trip. To their astonishment, the INDIANS don't buy ticket at all!!! How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed FRENCH. "Watch and learn," answers an INDIAN.
When they board the train the 3 FRENCH cram into one toilet and soon after the 3 INDIANS cram into another nearby toilet.The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the INDIAN leaves the toilet and walks over to the toilet where the FRENCH are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please."The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The INDIAN takes the ticket and goes back into his toilet.
Friday, January 11, 2008
New Knights for the King!
President SR Nathan has appointed new members to the Council of Presidential Advisers (CPA). The appointments take effect from 2 January.
Retired High Court judge, Mr Goh Joon Seng, was appointed as a member of the CPA for a term of six years.
Also appointed, as alternate members of the CPA for a four-year term, are chairman of Keppel Corp, Mr Lim Chee Onn, and SIA's chairman and president of the Singapore National Employers' Federation, Mr Stephen Lee Ching Yen.
The President's Office also announced that Dr Cheong Siew Keong has retired as a member of the CPA upon the expiry of his term on 1 January.
The CPA continues to be chaired by Mr J Y Pillay, chairman of the Singapore Exchange. The other members are Mr S Dhanabalan, Professor Cham Tao Soon, Mr Po'ad Bin Shaik Abu Bakar Mattar and Mr Yong Pung How.
Dr Cheong has served on the Council since its inception in January 1992, and President Nathan deeply appreciates his 16 years of invaluable service on the Council.
According to the Istana website, it is obligatory for the President to consult the Council before he vetoes the budgets of the government and key government-linked bodies.
Retired High Court judge, Mr Goh Joon Seng, was appointed as a member of the CPA for a term of six years.
Also appointed, as alternate members of the CPA for a four-year term, are chairman of Keppel Corp, Mr Lim Chee Onn, and SIA's chairman and president of the Singapore National Employers' Federation, Mr Stephen Lee Ching Yen.
The President's Office also announced that Dr Cheong Siew Keong has retired as a member of the CPA upon the expiry of his term on 1 January.
The CPA continues to be chaired by Mr J Y Pillay, chairman of the Singapore Exchange. The other members are Mr S Dhanabalan, Professor Cham Tao Soon, Mr Po'ad Bin Shaik Abu Bakar Mattar and Mr Yong Pung How.
Dr Cheong has served on the Council since its inception in January 1992, and President Nathan deeply appreciates his 16 years of invaluable service on the Council.
According to the Istana website, it is obligatory for the President to consult the Council before he vetoes the budgets of the government and key government-linked bodies.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Pre-paid phone cards - FTs are using them
PAYPHONES are dead? Think again. Go to any foreign worker haunt in Singapore and the amount of advertising for payphone services will astound. Thai, Myanmar, Hindi - the ads are tailored in the language of these foreign workers.
With pre-paid phone cards, everything is dead simple. No registration. No set up. Never mind a PC, you don't even need your own phone!
Two flavours are available. Chipcards, which can be used only on phones equipped to read the embedded chip. Scratch cards, in contrast, contain a PIN which can used on any type of phone.
It costs only 8.5 cents a minute for the scratch card. Not the cheapest but it involves the least hassle.
"I don't need to subscribe to a phone plan, and I am only charged for the amount of time that I use," said 31-year-old Filipino domestic worker Jasmine Argapao who swears by StarHub calling cards.
The StarHub HomeConnect Card wins hands down for cost. But over the phone, the voice of my friend in Thailand lacked her usual punch, though it was clear.
I used the cheapest "Special Promotions" plan. HomeConnect offers two higher plans: IDD 018 and IDD 008. The low-level white noise during pauses in the conversation didn't affect clarity. Also, it took more than 10 seconds before I got a connection. Standard phone charges apply.
Using a toll-free number on the SingTel Hello! Card, connection was immediate. The rates are higher but my Thailand friend sounded like she was in Singapore, bright and totally clear.
One more tip: Buy the cards from your heartland mom-and-pop shop. I got 50 cents off on both the $10 cards I bought.
With pre-paid phone cards, everything is dead simple. No registration. No set up. Never mind a PC, you don't even need your own phone!
Two flavours are available. Chipcards, which can be used only on phones equipped to read the embedded chip. Scratch cards, in contrast, contain a PIN which can used on any type of phone.
It costs only 8.5 cents a minute for the scratch card. Not the cheapest but it involves the least hassle.
"I don't need to subscribe to a phone plan, and I am only charged for the amount of time that I use," said 31-year-old Filipino domestic worker Jasmine Argapao who swears by StarHub calling cards.
The StarHub HomeConnect Card wins hands down for cost. But over the phone, the voice of my friend in Thailand lacked her usual punch, though it was clear.
I used the cheapest "Special Promotions" plan. HomeConnect offers two higher plans: IDD 018 and IDD 008. The low-level white noise during pauses in the conversation didn't affect clarity. Also, it took more than 10 seconds before I got a connection. Standard phone charges apply.
Using a toll-free number on the SingTel Hello! Card, connection was immediate. The rates are higher but my Thailand friend sounded like she was in Singapore, bright and totally clear.
One more tip: Buy the cards from your heartland mom-and-pop shop. I got 50 cents off on both the $10 cards I bought.
Friday, January 04, 2008
Monday, December 31, 2007
Who killed benazir bhutto?
Khalid Khwaja, a former Pakistani intelligence officer and self-declared friend of bin Laden, said Bhutto "was very openly threatening these tribal people.""Naturally some of them could have done it," he said. "She was certainly hated to that degree by those elements who are victims of the American terror."Bhutto was also labeled an infidel by groups such as Jaish-ul Mohammed, Lashkar-e-Tayyaba and Hezb-ul Mujahidin, which were spawned by Pakistan's military and intelligence services to take on neighboring India in the disputed Kashmir region.The groups later aligned themselves with al-Qaeda and have vowed to battle foreign troops in Afghanistan and wage war against the Pakistani military for its support of the US-led anti-terror campaign. Some of their leaders said Bhutto deserved to die for her threats to crush militants."They all work together and share a common antipathy to Bhutto because she's a woman, an advocate of secularism, a supporter of democracy and everything they stand against."
Or its Him...
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Murder of Ms Bhutto
Pakistani former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto has been assassinated in a suicide attack. Ms Bhutto - the first woman PM in an Islamic state - was leaving an election rally in Rawalpindi when a gunman shot her in the neck and set off a bomb.
At least 20 other people died in the attack and several more were injured.
President Pervez Musharraf has urged people to remain calm but angry protests have gripped some cities, with at least 11 deaths reported.
Security forces have been placed on a state of "red alert" nationwide.
There were no immediate claims of responsibility for the attack. Analysts believe Islamist militants to be the most likely group behind it.
Ms Bhutto, leader of the Pakistan People's Party (PPP), had served as prime minister from 1988-1990 and 1993-1996, and had been campaigning ahead of elections due on 8 January. It was the second suicide attack against her in recent months and came amid a wave of bombings targeting security and government officials.
Nawaz Sharif, also a former prime minister and a political rival, announced his Muslim League party would boycott the elections.
He called on President Musharraf to resign, saying free and fair elections were not possible under his rule.
The United Nations Security Council held an emergency session and later said it "unanimously condemned" the assassination.
Ms Bhutto's coffin was removed from hospital in Rawalpindi and has now arrived by plane in Sukkur in Sindh province for burial in her home town, Larkana.
Her husband, Asif Ali Zardari, has arrived in Pakistan from Dubai to escort the coffin to its final resting-place.
The attack occurred close to an entrance gate of the city park where Ms Bhutto had been speaking.
Police confirmed reports Ms Bhutto had been shot in the neck and chest before the gunman blew himself up.
She died at 1816 (1316 GMT), said Wasif Ali Khan, a member of the PPP who was at hospital.
BENAZIR BHUTTO
Father led Pakistan before being executed in 1979
Spent five years in prison
Served as PM from 1988-1990 and 1993-1996
Sacked twice by president on corruption charges
Formed alliance with rival ex-PM Nawaz Sharif in 2006
Ended self-imposed exile by returning to Pakistan in October
Educated at Harvard and Oxford
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
TOP AH NEH SALARY UP AGAIN!
Ministers, top civil servants to get 4% to 21% in 2nd pay rise
SINGAPORE'S ministers and top civil servants will start the New Year with a pay increase, ranging from 4 per cent to 21 per cent.
This is the second phase of an increase that was decided on in April.
Under the revised salary package announced by the Public Service Division (PSD) on Thursday, ministers at the starting grade will take home $1.94 million next year - an increase of 21 per cent over this year's $1.6 million.
MPs and administrative officers - the elite of the civil service - will see their salaries going up by around 4 per cent or more.
The changes come after the first round of pay hikes in April, when the Government also announced that civil service salaries would be adjusted over time to keep pace with private sector benchmarks.
Minister-in-charge of the Civil Service Teo Chee Hean said on Thursday that the move was in keeping with April's announcement.
'Public sector salaries move up and down with the market. In this tight labour market, private sector salaries have moved up significantly, as the benchmark figures show. The service needs to follow promptly in order to attract and retain good people,' said Mr Teo, who is also the Defence Minister.
But he noted that actual pay would still be tied to performance. This includes individual performance and how the economy does.
'We are careful to link rewards closely to performance. We have increased the proportion of annual salary that is variable. At the senior levels as much as 50 per cent of the annual salary is now performance-based,' he said.
With the pay revision, the annual salary for President SR Nathan will go up from $3.1 million this year to $3.87 million in 2008, the Prime Minister's from $3.09 million to $3.76 million, ministers and senior permanent secretaries, from $1.593 million to $1.94 million, entry superscale grade Admin officers, from $384,000 to $398,000 and MPs, from $216,300 to $225,000 (see tables below).
Their pay increases will come in the form of a higher monthly salary and a fatter performance bonus.
For instance, ministers at the entry grade of MR4 will get an average of 9 months performance bonus, on top of the GDP bonus, which can fall between 3 and 8 months, depending on econommic growth.
In a statement, the PSD said that this round of changes would bring MR4 salaries to 77 per cent of the private sector benchmarks, to which it is pegged. The April revisions had brought it to 73 per cent of the benchmark.
The benchmark is set at two-thirds of the median pay of the top 8 earners in banking, law, engineering and accountancy, as well as employees of multinational corporations and local manufacturers.
This was $2.2 million as of April but has been revised to $2.7 million when calculating next year's pay.
ITS GOOD TO BE PRATA MAN!
SINGAPORE'S ministers and top civil servants will start the New Year with a pay increase, ranging from 4 per cent to 21 per cent.
This is the second phase of an increase that was decided on in April.
Under the revised salary package announced by the Public Service Division (PSD) on Thursday, ministers at the starting grade will take home $1.94 million next year - an increase of 21 per cent over this year's $1.6 million.
MPs and administrative officers - the elite of the civil service - will see their salaries going up by around 4 per cent or more.
The changes come after the first round of pay hikes in April, when the Government also announced that civil service salaries would be adjusted over time to keep pace with private sector benchmarks.
Minister-in-charge of the Civil Service Teo Chee Hean said on Thursday that the move was in keeping with April's announcement.
'Public sector salaries move up and down with the market. In this tight labour market, private sector salaries have moved up significantly, as the benchmark figures show. The service needs to follow promptly in order to attract and retain good people,' said Mr Teo, who is also the Defence Minister.
But he noted that actual pay would still be tied to performance. This includes individual performance and how the economy does.
'We are careful to link rewards closely to performance. We have increased the proportion of annual salary that is variable. At the senior levels as much as 50 per cent of the annual salary is now performance-based,' he said.
With the pay revision, the annual salary for President SR Nathan will go up from $3.1 million this year to $3.87 million in 2008, the Prime Minister's from $3.09 million to $3.76 million, ministers and senior permanent secretaries, from $1.593 million to $1.94 million, entry superscale grade Admin officers, from $384,000 to $398,000 and MPs, from $216,300 to $225,000 (see tables below).
Their pay increases will come in the form of a higher monthly salary and a fatter performance bonus.
For instance, ministers at the entry grade of MR4 will get an average of 9 months performance bonus, on top of the GDP bonus, which can fall between 3 and 8 months, depending on econommic growth.
In a statement, the PSD said that this round of changes would bring MR4 salaries to 77 per cent of the private sector benchmarks, to which it is pegged. The April revisions had brought it to 73 per cent of the benchmark.
The benchmark is set at two-thirds of the median pay of the top 8 earners in banking, law, engineering and accountancy, as well as employees of multinational corporations and local manufacturers.
This was $2.2 million as of April but has been revised to $2.7 million when calculating next year's pay.
ITS GOOD TO BE PRATA MAN!
Stop the Dark Force
Malaysia invoked a tough internal-security law on Thursday to indefinitely detain five ethnic Indian activists from a group that had staged a mass anti-government protest last month. A police official, who declined to be named, said the five belonged to the Hindu Rights Action Force (Hindraf), which stunned the government by bringing more than 10,000 ethnic Indians onto the streets to complain of racial discrimination. One of those detained on Thursday was a Hindraf leader, lawyer P. Uthayakumar, who had already been charged with sedition for alleging that Malaysia practised "ethnic cleansing" of Indians, which make up about 7 percent of the population. "They said they were arresting him under the ISA (Internal Security Act), but they didn't say where they were taking him,"; said Shantha, who answered Uthayakumar's mobile phone after news of the detentions and said she was his secretary. She gave the names of three other detainees as M. Manoharan, V. Ganapatirau and T. Vasanthakumar. She said she was not aware of a fifth detainee, though the Hindraf Web site gave the fifth name as K. Kengadharan, also a lawyer. The opposition has accused Abdullah of using public order as an excuse to crack down on peaceful dissent' "We condemn these arrests,"; said Lim Guan Eng, head of the opposition Democratic Action Party. "It is a desperate act of last resort and if the government has any evidence, it should charge them in an open court. We urge the government to seek national reconciliation, not confrontation with disaffected, marginalised and dispossessed Malaysians."
Malaysiakini - 'Indians not gaining from gov't programmes'- Dec 13, 07 12:55pm Indian Malaysian social groups have been galvanised into action over the plight of the community, following the Nov 25 mass rally called by the Hindu Rights Action Force (Hindraf).
In a statement issued yesterday by Malaysian Hindu Sangam chairperson A Vaithilingam, a group of 48 Indian-based non-governmental organisations acknowledged that some 30,000 Indians who had gathered in Kuala Lumpur for the rally had “carried their frustrations, aspirations and hope for a better future”.
However, the group also expressed apprehension, concern and regret over “the increasingly strident voices of disunity threatening ethnic harmony among Malaysians”.
“It is clear that a significant segment of the community feels that their religious, educational, social ane economic rights and interests are being marginalised, and feel alienated from the mainstream of development and progress of our nation,” they said in the statement.
“Although the (five-year) Malaysia Plans and Outline Perspective Plans have recognised the increasing income disparity among Malaysians and have taken positive measures to tackle it, clearly the government’s intervention programmes have not adequately addressed the needs of the Indian community.”
Among the more prominent NGOs which endorsed the statement are the Malaysian Hindu Sangam, Sri Murugan Centre, Malaysian Associated Indian Chambers of Commerce and Industry, Group of Concerned Citizens and Divine Life Society PJ.
Apart from youth groups and those based in religion, other NGOs represent the main cultural groupings - Tamils, Ceylonese, Malayalees and Telugus - in the Indian Malaysian community.
Proposals being formulated
Explaining that they are committed to overcoming the “serious problem” in a concerted way, they said they have consolidated their resources and are in the process of formulating proposals to be submitted to the government within the next three months.
“We...hope that our concerns can be addressed directly by the prime minister through dialogues and discussions and that the government will formulate appropriate policy measures, implementation strategies and monitoring mechanisms,” they added.
The Hindraf rally was called to support an attempt to submit a memorandum to the British High Commission in relation to a US$4 trillion class-action suit filed by Hindraf against the British government for bringing the Indians as indentured labourers to Malaya 150 years ago.
Hindraf has argued that the British colonialists did not sufficiently protect Indian interests in the run-up to Independence being granted in August 1957.
Since the rally - which was dispersed by police using tear gas and water cannon - the authorities have cracked down on both leaders and Hindraf supporters.
Doezens have been charged with offences ranging from participation in an illegal assembly to causing mischief and attempted murder of a policeman. Three Hindraf leaders including legal adviserP Uthayakumar have been charged with sedition.
However, Hindraf’s claims of marginalisation, discrimination and 'ethnic cleansing' of the Indian community have not gone down well with those in government and even among some in the opposition ranks and other NGOs.
Malaysiakini - 'Indians not gaining from gov't programmes'- Dec 13, 07 12:55pm Indian Malaysian social groups have been galvanised into action over the plight of the community, following the Nov 25 mass rally called by the Hindu Rights Action Force (Hindraf).
In a statement issued yesterday by Malaysian Hindu Sangam chairperson A Vaithilingam, a group of 48 Indian-based non-governmental organisations acknowledged that some 30,000 Indians who had gathered in Kuala Lumpur for the rally had “carried their frustrations, aspirations and hope for a better future”.
However, the group also expressed apprehension, concern and regret over “the increasingly strident voices of disunity threatening ethnic harmony among Malaysians”.
“It is clear that a significant segment of the community feels that their religious, educational, social ane economic rights and interests are being marginalised, and feel alienated from the mainstream of development and progress of our nation,” they said in the statement.
“Although the (five-year) Malaysia Plans and Outline Perspective Plans have recognised the increasing income disparity among Malaysians and have taken positive measures to tackle it, clearly the government’s intervention programmes have not adequately addressed the needs of the Indian community.”
Among the more prominent NGOs which endorsed the statement are the Malaysian Hindu Sangam, Sri Murugan Centre, Malaysian Associated Indian Chambers of Commerce and Industry, Group of Concerned Citizens and Divine Life Society PJ.
Apart from youth groups and those based in religion, other NGOs represent the main cultural groupings - Tamils, Ceylonese, Malayalees and Telugus - in the Indian Malaysian community.
Proposals being formulated
Explaining that they are committed to overcoming the “serious problem” in a concerted way, they said they have consolidated their resources and are in the process of formulating proposals to be submitted to the government within the next three months.
“We...hope that our concerns can be addressed directly by the prime minister through dialogues and discussions and that the government will formulate appropriate policy measures, implementation strategies and monitoring mechanisms,” they added.
The Hindraf rally was called to support an attempt to submit a memorandum to the British High Commission in relation to a US$4 trillion class-action suit filed by Hindraf against the British government for bringing the Indians as indentured labourers to Malaya 150 years ago.
Hindraf has argued that the British colonialists did not sufficiently protect Indian interests in the run-up to Independence being granted in August 1957.
Since the rally - which was dispersed by police using tear gas and water cannon - the authorities have cracked down on both leaders and Hindraf supporters.
Doezens have been charged with offences ranging from participation in an illegal assembly to causing mischief and attempted murder of a policeman. Three Hindraf leaders including legal adviserP Uthayakumar have been charged with sedition.
However, Hindraf’s claims of marginalisation, discrimination and 'ethnic cleansing' of the Indian community have not gone down well with those in government and even among some in the opposition ranks and other NGOs.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
ISA to Stop the Dark Force
KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysian Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has reportedly warned that ethnic Indian activists accused of having links with Sri Lanka's Tamil Tigers could be held under internal security laws.
Ethnic rights group Hindraf, which organised mass anti-discrimination protests in November that were broken up with tear gas and water cannon, has been accused of seeking support from the Tigers.
Abdullah said he had ordered police to monitor Hindraf leaders and followers on suspicion of association with terrorists, and that they could be dealt with under the Internal Security Act (ISA) which allows detention without trial.
"ISA is an option," the premier said according to the New Straits Times. "I will decide when the time is right."
"If they are deemed (as a threat to national security) we will know what to do."
Cabinet minister Nazri Abdul Aziz reportedly said Hindraf would be banned if it was found to be supported by groups like the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) and Hindu paramilitary group Rashtriya Swayamesevak Sangh (RSS).
"If it is true that Hindraf leaders have links with them, Hindraf is also a terrorist group," the de facto law minister said according to the Star daily.
Malaysia's ethnic Indians, who make up eight percent of the population, are mostly Tamils -- the descendents of indentured labourers brought here by the British colonial rulers in the 1800s.
Hindraf chairman P. Waythamoorthy, who is overseas lobbying international support for the group, claimed the government was conspiring against them.
"This is a state conspiracy to divert from the real issue of the oppression, marginalisation and suppression of the minority Indian community," he said in a statement.
"Hindraf will continue its peaceful struggle both locally and internationally."
On Friday, the government also sought to overturn a decision that allowed three Hindraf leaders including Waythamoorthy to walk free from sedition charges related to speeches they made last month.
The speeches criticised Malaysia's system of preferential treatment for Malays, who make up 60 percent of the population. The court has adjourned the hearing until Monday.
Ethnic rights group Hindraf, which organised mass anti-discrimination protests in November that were broken up with tear gas and water cannon, has been accused of seeking support from the Tigers.
Abdullah said he had ordered police to monitor Hindraf leaders and followers on suspicion of association with terrorists, and that they could be dealt with under the Internal Security Act (ISA) which allows detention without trial.
"ISA is an option," the premier said according to the New Straits Times. "I will decide when the time is right."
"If they are deemed (as a threat to national security) we will know what to do."
Cabinet minister Nazri Abdul Aziz reportedly said Hindraf would be banned if it was found to be supported by groups like the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) and Hindu paramilitary group Rashtriya Swayamesevak Sangh (RSS).
"If it is true that Hindraf leaders have links with them, Hindraf is also a terrorist group," the de facto law minister said according to the Star daily.
Malaysia's ethnic Indians, who make up eight percent of the population, are mostly Tamils -- the descendents of indentured labourers brought here by the British colonial rulers in the 1800s.
Hindraf chairman P. Waythamoorthy, who is overseas lobbying international support for the group, claimed the government was conspiring against them.
"This is a state conspiracy to divert from the real issue of the oppression, marginalisation and suppression of the minority Indian community," he said in a statement.
"Hindraf will continue its peaceful struggle both locally and internationally."
On Friday, the government also sought to overturn a decision that allowed three Hindraf leaders including Waythamoorthy to walk free from sedition charges related to speeches they made last month.
The speeches criticised Malaysia's system of preferential treatment for Malays, who make up 60 percent of the population. The court has adjourned the hearing until Monday.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Paki Problem
Pakistani on the moon:
Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon? A: Problem...
Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon? A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon? A: Problem...
Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon? A: ....... Problem Solved!!!
Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon? A: Problem...
Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon? A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon? A: Problem...
Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon? A: ....... Problem Solved!!!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Malaysian INDIANS PROTEST
Thousands of Malaysian Indians protest to highlight plight
For the second time this month, Malaysian riot police fired tear gas and water canons to disperse thousands of protesters who took part in an illegal street rally in the capital on Sunday.
The rally, organised by the Hindu Rights Action Force to highlight their complaints of discrimination by the ruling government, ended with hundreds arrested.
In a rare protest by the one of the country's ethnic minorities, thousands of Malaysian Indians took to the streets of downtown Kuala Lumpur to demand equal rights.
Police had set up roadblocks across the city and obtained a court restraint order in an attempt to foil the rally.
Just the night before, more than 3,000 ethnic Indians from across the country gathered at a Hindu temple at Batu Caves outside the capital.
Many were arrested when they clashed with the police who fired tear gas in a bid to stop them from joining the rally.
At the protest outside the Petronas Twin Towers, police fired hundreds of rounds of tear gas and used water canons with chemical-laced water to disperse the crowd.
But the protesters, who did not have a permit for the rally, still tried to force their way through the police barricades to submit their petition to the British High Commission.
Many picked up the tear gas canisters and threw them back at the police.
M Kulasegaran, lawyer for Hindu Rights Action Force, said: "The time has come for a change and as you can see, thousands of people are not afraid of anybody."
One of the protesters cried: "Because we ask what are the Indian rights? I want to think about the next generation; I want to think about my son."
The protest was organised to highlight the economic woes of the minority ethnic Indians who represent 8 percent of the country's population.
The group Hindraf recently filed a multi-trillion-dollar class action against the British government whom they hold responsible for their decades of discrimination.
The mainstream political parties, meanwhile, have disassociated themselves from the rally, saying that the illegal gathering is an opposition ploy to smear the government's image ahead of the country's general elections.
Just two weeks ago, tens of thousands of Malaysians took to the streets to protest for a free and fair election.
The Malaysian government has warned that it will not hesitate to invoke the country's strict security laws that allow detentions without trial on those involved, simply because while Malaysia practises democracy, taking to the streets is simply not the Malaysian way of life.
The dark force is strong there!
For the second time this month, Malaysian riot police fired tear gas and water canons to disperse thousands of protesters who took part in an illegal street rally in the capital on Sunday.
The rally, organised by the Hindu Rights Action Force to highlight their complaints of discrimination by the ruling government, ended with hundreds arrested.
In a rare protest by the one of the country's ethnic minorities, thousands of Malaysian Indians took to the streets of downtown Kuala Lumpur to demand equal rights.
Police had set up roadblocks across the city and obtained a court restraint order in an attempt to foil the rally.
Just the night before, more than 3,000 ethnic Indians from across the country gathered at a Hindu temple at Batu Caves outside the capital.
Many were arrested when they clashed with the police who fired tear gas in a bid to stop them from joining the rally.
At the protest outside the Petronas Twin Towers, police fired hundreds of rounds of tear gas and used water canons with chemical-laced water to disperse the crowd.
But the protesters, who did not have a permit for the rally, still tried to force their way through the police barricades to submit their petition to the British High Commission.
Many picked up the tear gas canisters and threw them back at the police.
M Kulasegaran, lawyer for Hindu Rights Action Force, said: "The time has come for a change and as you can see, thousands of people are not afraid of anybody."
One of the protesters cried: "Because we ask what are the Indian rights? I want to think about the next generation; I want to think about my son."
The protest was organised to highlight the economic woes of the minority ethnic Indians who represent 8 percent of the country's population.
The group Hindraf recently filed a multi-trillion-dollar class action against the British government whom they hold responsible for their decades of discrimination.
The mainstream political parties, meanwhile, have disassociated themselves from the rally, saying that the illegal gathering is an opposition ploy to smear the government's image ahead of the country's general elections.
Just two weeks ago, tens of thousands of Malaysians took to the streets to protest for a free and fair election.
The Malaysian government has warned that it will not hesitate to invoke the country's strict security laws that allow detentions without trial on those involved, simply because while Malaysia practises democracy, taking to the streets is simply not the Malaysian way of life.
The dark force is strong there!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
My Ah Neh Friend
FORMER senior Cabinet minister S. Dhanabalan was presented with the nation's highest honour last night for his contributions to the country.
The Temasek Holdings chairman received the Order of Temasek (Second Class) from President S R Nathan at the Suntec City Ballroom.
Mr Dhanabalan, a long-time civil servant, politician and corporate leader, played a significant role in Singapore's development.
He was part of the team that started the Economic Development Board in 1961 to attract investments to Singapore and to create jobs.
From 1968 to 1978, he helped establish the Development Bank of Singapore - now DBS Bank - and played a pivotal role in its transformation into a full service international bank.
He entered politics in 1976, and from 1978 to 1994, held the Foreign Affairs, Culture, Community Development, National Development, and Trade and Industry portfolios.
Previous recipients of the Order of Temasek (First Class) include former president Wee Kim Wee, former chief justice Yong Pung How, and former ministers Lim Kim San, Hon Sui Sen, Goh Keng Swee and S. Rajaratnam.
The next three highest honours this year went to recipients of the Distinguished Service Order.
They are: Lee Foundation chairman Lee Seng Gee; Keppel Corporation executive chairman Lim Chee Onn and Neptune Orient Lines chairman Cheng Wai Keung.
Seven others received the Meritorious Service Medal. They included National Kidney Foundation chairman Gerard Ee; head of the Civil Service Peter Ho; and Lieutenant-General (NS) Ng Yat Chung, the former Chief of Defence Force.
They were among about 350 recipients of the National Day Awards who were honoured last night.
Friday, November 02, 2007
CPA U KNOW?
Council of Presidential Advisers...
They are Mr Po'ad Bin Shaik Abu Bakar Mattar, Mr S Dhanabalan, Dr Cheong Siew Keong, Mr J Y Pillay, Mr Yong Pung How and Prof Cham Tao Soon.
Old but powerful people.
They are Mr Po'ad Bin Shaik Abu Bakar Mattar, Mr S Dhanabalan, Dr Cheong Siew Keong, Mr J Y Pillay, Mr Yong Pung How and Prof Cham Tao Soon.
Old but powerful people.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Prataman's Scholars
This year, the President’s Scholarship is conferred on 4 outstanding young persons. They are Miss Kaan Hung Leng, Miss Stephanie Ko Qianwen, Miss Liu Chen and Mr Sergius Wat Zhiwen. Both Miss Kaan and Miss Ko will be studying medicine. Miss Kaan will be pursuing Medicine at NUS while Miss Ko will be reading Medicine at Cambridge University. Miss Liu will be studying Economics at the University of Chicago. Mr Wat, who is a concurrent Singapore Police Force Overseas Scholarship holder, will be studying Government at Harvard University. As recipients of the most prestigious scholarship in Singapore, Miss Kaan, Miss Ko, Miss Liu and Mr Wat are joining a select group of young men and women with infinite possibilities ahead of them.
Remember the Names, YOU will be seeing them as Top leaders of Singapore!
Remember the Names, YOU will be seeing them as Top leaders of Singapore!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Just For Laughes
A lady arrived at the Madras airport after spending 36 hours in transit.
She was fully exhausted after such a long trip with her 6 young kids.
Collecting many suitcases, the family entered the cramped customs area.
A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"
"Yes, sir," the lady said with a sigh. "They're all mine."
The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"
"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."
She was fully exhausted after such a long trip with her 6 young kids.
Collecting many suitcases, the family entered the cramped customs area.
A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"
"Yes, sir," the lady said with a sigh. "They're all mine."
The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"
"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Just for Laughes
Pak dictator Zia is speeding through Germany with his chauffeur at the wheel on his way to an important address.
Driving down a country road, the chauffeur (who is distracted, looking out the window at the countryside) doesn't see a pig walk out onto the road, and he hits it.
Stopping the car, he jumps out, and Zia climbs out also to see what is going on.
The chauffeur, very distressed by what he's done asks Zia what they should do, and Zia tells him impatiently that they're in a hurry and they should move the pig to the side of the road and go to the address and worry about it later.
All the way to the address the chauffeur, who is a fairly good-hearted person despite his employer, is worried about the family who owned the pig and wondered how they'd react to discovering the pig, so when they arrived he asked Zia whether he shouldn't drive back to the farm and let them know what happened.
Zia agrees before hurrying to the podium, and the Chauffeur hurries back down the road.
Four hours later, he was stumbling down the road, his arms full of gifts.
Zia in a rage demands to know what has happened to him, and the chauffeur explains,
"I did what I thought was right.
I went to the farm where I killed the pig.
When I went and knocked on the door and gave them the news, they gave me these gifts, fed me the best food I've ever tasted and then sent me on my way."
Zia seemed confused by this and asks his chauffeur, "well what exactly did you tell them"
To which the chauffeur replied "I really can't understand it either, all I did was tell them "I'm Zia's Chauffeur, and I killed the pig."
Driving down a country road, the chauffeur (who is distracted, looking out the window at the countryside) doesn't see a pig walk out onto the road, and he hits it.
Stopping the car, he jumps out, and Zia climbs out also to see what is going on.
The chauffeur, very distressed by what he's done asks Zia what they should do, and Zia tells him impatiently that they're in a hurry and they should move the pig to the side of the road and go to the address and worry about it later.
All the way to the address the chauffeur, who is a fairly good-hearted person despite his employer, is worried about the family who owned the pig and wondered how they'd react to discovering the pig, so when they arrived he asked Zia whether he shouldn't drive back to the farm and let them know what happened.
Zia agrees before hurrying to the podium, and the Chauffeur hurries back down the road.
Four hours later, he was stumbling down the road, his arms full of gifts.
Zia in a rage demands to know what has happened to him, and the chauffeur explains,
"I did what I thought was right.
I went to the farm where I killed the pig.
When I went and knocked on the door and gave them the news, they gave me these gifts, fed me the best food I've ever tasted and then sent me on my way."
Zia seemed confused by this and asks his chauffeur, "well what exactly did you tell them"
To which the chauffeur replied "I really can't understand it either, all I did was tell them "I'm Zia's Chauffeur, and I killed the pig."
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Just for Laughes
Mani Mukherjee had a little too much to drink one day. He was driving home from the bar one night and, of course, his car was weaving violently all over the road.
A hawaldar pulls him over and asked, "kahan se aa rahe ho?"
"Iiiizzzzze! daru khane se! izzzeezzzeh!" slurs Mani.
"Lagta hai ke aapne bahot pee rakhi hai"
"Hehheha. Lekin mai thik hu!" Mani says in his usual style.
"Lekin aapko pata hai," says the hawaldar, "kuchh der pahle pahle aapki biwi car se gir gayi?
"Iiizzzzzezzzeeh! Tab to sab thik hai" sighs Mani, "thodi der ke liye to apne ko laga...izzzezze...ke apun behra ho gaya hun....hehhehe".
A hawaldar pulls him over and asked, "kahan se aa rahe ho?"
"Iiiizzzzze! daru khane se! izzzeezzzeh!" slurs Mani.
"Lagta hai ke aapne bahot pee rakhi hai"
"Hehheha. Lekin mai thik hu!" Mani says in his usual style.
"Lekin aapko pata hai," says the hawaldar, "kuchh der pahle pahle aapki biwi car se gir gayi?
"Iiizzzzzezzzeeh! Tab to sab thik hai" sighs Mani, "thodi der ke liye to apne ko laga...izzzezze...ke apun behra ho gaya hun....hehhehe".
Monday, October 01, 2007
Prataman gathered the most donations
The President’s Star Charity Show raised more than S$5.4 million on Sunday.
President S R Nathan took centre stage for the first time, reciting a poem called The Desiderata by Max Ehrmann.
Plastic surgeon Dr Woffles Wu tripped the light fantastic with Singapore Idol Hadi Mirza earlier in the show while St James’ Kindergarten students did back—up dancing for Project Superstar winner Darren Tan.
Dr Jannie Tay and friends showed the young at heart could also have fun raising money for the 32 charities including the Parkinson’s Disease Society and the Down Syndrome Association.
President S R Nathan took centre stage for the first time, reciting a poem called The Desiderata by Max Ehrmann.
Plastic surgeon Dr Woffles Wu tripped the light fantastic with Singapore Idol Hadi Mirza earlier in the show while St James’ Kindergarten students did back—up dancing for Project Superstar winner Darren Tan.
Dr Jannie Tay and friends showed the young at heart could also have fun raising money for the 32 charities including the Parkinson’s Disease Society and the Down Syndrome Association.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
The Husbands
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10
husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please
be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married
ten times.?"
"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it
was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with
me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked
out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the
order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he
wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art
method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he
wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never
sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; ! all he ever did was........ God
I miss him.
" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"Your're with the GOVERNMENT"..
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED"
husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please
be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married
ten times.?"
"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it
was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with
me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked
out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the
order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he
wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art
method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he
wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never
sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; ! all he ever did was........ God
I miss him.
" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"Your're with the GOVERNMENT"..
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED"
Friday, September 21, 2007
And the moral of the story is.....................
By trade minister Rafidah Aziz (Malaysia)
With a reputation for her strong stamina despite arduous and hectic
schedules, it was not surprising that someone had to ask the Minister
of International Trade and Industry, Datuk Seri Rafidah Aziz, where her
source of almost boundless energy came from.
"In my job, you have to be cheerful because it's about wanting people
to invest. Can you imagine if I come to Kobe with a sour face and no
smile?
You will not want to come to Malaysia," she said when asked by a Japanese
businessman to reveal the secret of her staying power at a seminar on
Business Opportunities in Malaysia here today.
"You're great. You're so dynamic and cheerful. We don't see such a
character in our Japanese ministers," said the businessman who was obviously an
admirer of Rafidah's dynamic personality.
In reply, Rafidah said she was a naturally cheerful person. "I am not
making it up (in being cheerful). I laugh a lot and so it's easy for me to be
cheerful. It's not like I'm pretending to be cheerful. My nature is
like that," she said in a matter-of-fact and yet lighthearted manner.
The minister said her energy also came from the fact that she liked her
job."I've been in this job (her present position) for 16 years and I
have been in the government for 27 years," she said, acknowledging that she
was no longer young as she would be 60 years old this year and already has
three grandchildren.
"It makes me happy. You must always do what that makes you happy. If
you're not happy, you don't do it. That's very simple... If you don't like the
thing but you have to do it (anyway), you'll get the sour face," she
said.
Rafidah said she usually did not bring her work home with her. But if
she really has some work to finish up, she would wake up at 5.00 am to
complete it. "If I go home late, my driver will have to wait for me, my security
guard will have to wait for me and my other staff also has to wait for
me.
And they will curse me because they want to go home (early)," she said.
Rafidah said if she did not leave for home by 5.30 pm, there was a
likelihood that there would be five or six people who could be angry
with her. "Angry people are not productive," she said, admitting that she
was also not productive in her work after 5.30pm.
"After 5.30 pm, I'm not productive. So five unhappy staff and one
unhappy minister is not good (at all)," she said.
Rafidah felt that working very late in office was a waste of time."You
would be better off at home, (or) go out for dinner or play golf. So (at
least) you're happy and the next morning you're fresh," she said.
"If you go home late at 11.00 pm or midnight and you don't look at your
family and tomorrow you go into the train to go to office, in the end
you're not happy and your family is not happy," she said.
"The world will go on even if you go home at 5.30. The world will not
stop if you go home at 5.30 pm. "Why must you go home at 11.00 pm? What's
the point and how much work can you do between 5.30pm and 11.00pm?"
"Enjoy yourselves and be happy. I find that I work more when I'm
happy," she said.
NO OT!
With a reputation for her strong stamina despite arduous and hectic
schedules, it was not surprising that someone had to ask the Minister
of International Trade and Industry, Datuk Seri Rafidah Aziz, where her
source of almost boundless energy came from.
"In my job, you have to be cheerful because it's about wanting people
to invest. Can you imagine if I come to Kobe with a sour face and no
smile?
You will not want to come to Malaysia," she said when asked by a Japanese
businessman to reveal the secret of her staying power at a seminar on
Business Opportunities in Malaysia here today.
"You're great. You're so dynamic and cheerful. We don't see such a
character in our Japanese ministers," said the businessman who was obviously an
admirer of Rafidah's dynamic personality.
In reply, Rafidah said she was a naturally cheerful person. "I am not
making it up (in being cheerful). I laugh a lot and so it's easy for me to be
cheerful. It's not like I'm pretending to be cheerful. My nature is
like that," she said in a matter-of-fact and yet lighthearted manner.
The minister said her energy also came from the fact that she liked her
job."I've been in this job (her present position) for 16 years and I
have been in the government for 27 years," she said, acknowledging that she
was no longer young as she would be 60 years old this year and already has
three grandchildren.
"It makes me happy. You must always do what that makes you happy. If
you're not happy, you don't do it. That's very simple... If you don't like the
thing but you have to do it (anyway), you'll get the sour face," she
said.
Rafidah said she usually did not bring her work home with her. But if
she really has some work to finish up, she would wake up at 5.00 am to
complete it. "If I go home late, my driver will have to wait for me, my security
guard will have to wait for me and my other staff also has to wait for
me.
And they will curse me because they want to go home (early)," she said.
Rafidah said if she did not leave for home by 5.30 pm, there was a
likelihood that there would be five or six people who could be angry
with her. "Angry people are not productive," she said, admitting that she
was also not productive in her work after 5.30pm.
"After 5.30 pm, I'm not productive. So five unhappy staff and one
unhappy minister is not good (at all)," she said.
Rafidah felt that working very late in office was a waste of time."You
would be better off at home, (or) go out for dinner or play golf. So (at
least) you're happy and the next morning you're fresh," she said.
"If you go home late at 11.00 pm or midnight and you don't look at your
family and tomorrow you go into the train to go to office, in the end
you're not happy and your family is not happy," she said.
"The world will go on even if you go home at 5.30. The world will not
stop if you go home at 5.30 pm. "Why must you go home at 11.00 pm? What's
the point and how much work can you do between 5.30pm and 11.00pm?"
"Enjoy yourselves and be happy. I find that I work more when I'm
happy," she said.
NO OT!
Friday, September 14, 2007
PrataMan Found New Task
President Nathan to perform at President's Star Charity 2007
SINGAPORE : The President's Star Charity will be back on September 30.
President S R Nathan will be performing for the first time in this annual charity event.
Julie Sim-Chew, Executive Producer, President's Star Charity 2007, said: "The highlight for this President Star Charity is of course having President Nathan take centrestage.
"He will be reciting this poem called 'The Desiderata' by Max Ehrmann. It's an inspirational poem where it tells man how to live. When we proposed the idea to him, he was very forthcoming and he has personally selected certain portions of the poem (which) he feels that he is comfortable to deliver."
In another first, Channel NewsAsia presenter Glenda Chong will be the show's host.
She said: "When I present the news, I usually reach my audience through the camera lens. This time round, I will be hosting the PSC and I will actually see them staring back at me.
"I believe it will be a little bit nerve-wrecking, but I have veteran Gurmit, and I have the very glib-talking Desmond. I know I'm in good hands. So I guess I might be a little bit nervous, but ultimately when the show starts, it should not be a problem."
Other stars like Kym Ng, Michelle Chong, Jade Seah and Taufik Batisah will also be performing.
The President's Star Charity 2007 will be shown 'live' on MediaCorp TV's Channel 5 on September 30 from 7.30pm to 10pm.
Proceeds from the show will go to 32 charities.
Last year, the charity event raised more than S$4 million.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Indian Movie must have...
Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine - see rule 2 below).
If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
Any court scene will have the dialogue “Objection milord”. If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.
The hero’s sister will usually marry the hero’s best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).
Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by
a) the brothers
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax)
c) the family dog/cat.
Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero’s father - killedby the villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying “Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte”, only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector’s daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain’s sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.
If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
Any court scene will have the dialogue “Objection milord”. If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.
The hero’s sister will usually marry the hero’s best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).
Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by
a) the brothers
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax)
c) the family dog/cat.
Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero’s father - killedby the villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying “Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte”, only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector’s daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain’s sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Just for Laughes
“When did India get independence?” He was asked.”The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947″ He replied.”Who was responsible for our independence?”.”There were so many. Whom to mention?.If I name one it will be a injustice to another.”He replied.”Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?”.”Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report” He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful
answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others,since they
were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally
others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but
one persistent Sardar would not leave him.
“At least tell me the answers” he pleaded, and our friend obliged. Then
it was the turn of this Sardar. When he went inside, since his resume
was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.”By the way, what is
your date of birth?” He replied, “The effort began a few years earlier
and final result was in 1947.” Somewhat puzzled, they asked another
clarification.”What is your fathers name?” He replied, “There were so
many. Whom to mention”. If I name one it will be injustice to another”
The interviewer was incensed. “Hey! are you mad or what?” He replied.
“Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only
after seeing the report.”
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful
answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others,since they
were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally
others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but
one persistent Sardar would not leave him.
“At least tell me the answers” he pleaded, and our friend obliged. Then
it was the turn of this Sardar. When he went inside, since his resume
was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.”By the way, what is
your date of birth?” He replied, “The effort began a few years earlier
and final result was in 1947.” Somewhat puzzled, they asked another
clarification.”What is your fathers name?” He replied, “There were so
many. Whom to mention”. If I name one it will be injustice to another”
The interviewer was incensed. “Hey! are you mad or what?” He replied.
“Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only
after seeing the report.”
Saturday, August 11, 2007
NDP 2007
One of the many firsts at this National Day Parade is the new ceremonial vehicle used by President S R Nathan to inspect all the 25 contingents of the parade. This is the first time that a President is inspecting all the contingents on wheels. In the past, he would inspect just the guard-of-honour contingent. Now he soooo lazy need car to replace march pass!
National Flag Fly-past
National Flag Fly-past, a traditional crowd favourite, will feature a Chinook helicopter carrying the 5400 sq ft (about 15 per cent bigger than a basketball court) State Flag, escorted by Apache helicopters. The fly-past will be synchronised with the singing of the National Anthem by spectators.
Presidential Salute and Bomb-Burst.
Following the National Anthem, three F-16 D Block 52+ Fighting Falcons in a “Victory” formation will perform a split-second precision and synchronised afterburner fly-past above the crowd at an ascending height from 500 to -1500 ft. This will be followed closely by five F-16 C fighter jets executing a visually spectacular bomb-burst as a salute to the President. To add colour to the aerial salute, the five F-16s will trail off with white smoke from the smoke pod that has been designed by the RSAF.
Apart from the aerial display, the Air Participation Committee will also be supporting the military free fall in the Talents Pool and Show segments, as well as in the Dynamic Defence Display. A total of 18 aircraft, 28 pilots and 13 aircrew will be involved in this year's NDP.
why Nathan don't sing national anthem Maleeketa yah Singpula??????
National Flag Fly-past
National Flag Fly-past, a traditional crowd favourite, will feature a Chinook helicopter carrying the 5400 sq ft (about 15 per cent bigger than a basketball court) State Flag, escorted by Apache helicopters. The fly-past will be synchronised with the singing of the National Anthem by spectators.
Presidential Salute and Bomb-Burst.
Following the National Anthem, three F-16 D Block 52+ Fighting Falcons in a “Victory” formation will perform a split-second precision and synchronised afterburner fly-past above the crowd at an ascending height from 500 to -1500 ft. This will be followed closely by five F-16 C fighter jets executing a visually spectacular bomb-burst as a salute to the President. To add colour to the aerial salute, the five F-16s will trail off with white smoke from the smoke pod that has been designed by the RSAF.
Apart from the aerial display, the Air Participation Committee will also be supporting the military free fall in the Talents Pool and Show segments, as well as in the Dynamic Defence Display. A total of 18 aircraft, 28 pilots and 13 aircrew will be involved in this year's NDP.
why Nathan don't sing national anthem Maleeketa yah Singpula??????
Friday, August 10, 2007
Top Indian Sins
10. Marrying a blond is a sin. Making love to a blond is a partial sin.
9. Pre-marital sex is a sin. Marital sex is a partial sin.
8. Taking dowry is a sin. Giving dowry is a partial sin.
7. Bullying one’s wife is a sin. Having to submit is a partial sin.
6. Gambling is a sin. Playing cards is a partial sin.
5. Drinking is a sin. Smoking is a partial sin.
4. Eating beef is a sin. Eating pork is a partial sin.
3. Hurting a cow is a sin. Hurting insects is a partial sin.
2. Not phoning home is a sin. Running up a huge bill is a partial sin.
1. Forgetting first language is a sin. Speaking with an accent is a partial sin.
9. Pre-marital sex is a sin. Marital sex is a partial sin.
8. Taking dowry is a sin. Giving dowry is a partial sin.
7. Bullying one’s wife is a sin. Having to submit is a partial sin.
6. Gambling is a sin. Playing cards is a partial sin.
5. Drinking is a sin. Smoking is a partial sin.
4. Eating beef is a sin. Eating pork is a partial sin.
3. Hurting a cow is a sin. Hurting insects is a partial sin.
2. Not phoning home is a sin. Running up a huge bill is a partial sin.
1. Forgetting first language is a sin. Speaking with an accent is a partial sin.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Any one knows about SINDA?
Indian Self Help Organisation.
The Singapore Indian Development Association (SINDA) is a self-help group (SHG), that was formed in August 1991 to address the pressing educational and socio-economic issues facing the Indian community in Singapore.
Between September 1990 and March 1991, the Action Committee on Indian Education (ACIE) discussed issues facing the Indian community. The ACIE presented a report, 'At The Crossroads' to the Government in July 1991. This report highlighted the educational under-performance of Indian students and recommended wide-ranging remedial measures.
In this light, SINDA aims to raise the educational performance of Indian students. It also aims to promote family unity and helps in the social and economic development of Singapore Indians.
Our Vision
To build a strong and vibrant Indian Singaporean Community together.
Our Mission
To build a well-educated, resilient and confident community of Indians that stands together with other communities in contributing to the progress of multi-racial Singapore.
Our Objectives
To achieve parity in educational attainment with the national average at every landmark examination, by the year 2010.
To strengthen the family unit as the foundation of a socially resilient community.
To build a cohesive, caring and socially responsible community.
To foster understanding of and cooperation with the other communities in the pursuit of national aspirations.
The Singapore Indian Development Association (SINDA) is a self-help group (SHG), that was formed in August 1991 to address the pressing educational and socio-economic issues facing the Indian community in Singapore.
Between September 1990 and March 1991, the Action Committee on Indian Education (ACIE) discussed issues facing the Indian community. The ACIE presented a report, 'At The Crossroads' to the Government in July 1991. This report highlighted the educational under-performance of Indian students and recommended wide-ranging remedial measures.
In this light, SINDA aims to raise the educational performance of Indian students. It also aims to promote family unity and helps in the social and economic development of Singapore Indians.
Our Vision
To build a strong and vibrant Indian Singaporean Community together.
Our Mission
To build a well-educated, resilient and confident community of Indians that stands together with other communities in contributing to the progress of multi-racial Singapore.
Our Objectives
To achieve parity in educational attainment with the national average at every landmark examination, by the year 2010.
To strengthen the family unit as the foundation of a socially resilient community.
To build a cohesive, caring and socially responsible community.
To foster understanding of and cooperation with the other communities in the pursuit of national aspirations.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
The SPORE Proverb
One man's urine is another man's drinking water.
Citizens should be seen and not heard.
You pay millions, you still get monkeys!
We pay monkeys to get peanuts.
After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer
has the job of budgeting the balance.
Cleanliness is next to a Corrective Work Order.
The early bird catches the Hello Kitty.
Familiarity breeds people who might borrow money from you.
Where there's a will, there's a potential lawsuit.
Absence makes the man a quitter.
A land that rewards foreign talents over locals, will soon be foreign of talents locally, and eventually be foreign of talents totally.
What goes up can never come down: Law of GST and PTC.
You can lead a citizen to Newater, and you can force him to drink.
One good hike deserves another.
Every big hike starts with a small hike.
Lightning can strike twice if you suay-suay defame the wrong person.
A bird in the hand is cheaper than going Geylang.
No news is SPH news.
Make hay while the mee boils.
Old soldiers never die; they merely become insurance agents.
Two's company, but three's a GRC!
Citizens should be seen and not heard.
You pay millions, you still get monkeys!
We pay monkeys to get peanuts.
After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer
has the job of budgeting the balance.
Cleanliness is next to a Corrective Work Order.
The early bird catches the Hello Kitty.
Familiarity breeds people who might borrow money from you.
Where there's a will, there's a potential lawsuit.
Absence makes the man a quitter.
A land that rewards foreign talents over locals, will soon be foreign of talents locally, and eventually be foreign of talents totally.
What goes up can never come down: Law of GST and PTC.
You can lead a citizen to Newater, and you can force him to drink.
One good hike deserves another.
Every big hike starts with a small hike.
Lightning can strike twice if you suay-suay defame the wrong person.
A bird in the hand is cheaper than going Geylang.
No news is SPH news.
Make hay while the mee boils.
Old soldiers never die; they merely become insurance agents.
Two's company, but three's a GRC!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Top Indians In Singapore
C.V. Devan Nair - The drunk n womanizer
Sellapan Ramanathan - the prataman
S. Rajaratnam - The wise man
Shunmugam Jayakumar - the hard lawyer
Indian Singaporeans have generally been well represented, if not over-represented, in the nation's political leadership, including both the ruling People's Action Party (PAP) as well as opposition parties. Indians have served as two out of six Presidents of Singapore, one out of three Senior Ministers, two out of nine Deputy Prime Ministers and Ministers of several key ministries.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Just for Laughes
Siti gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" she asks.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.
Siti rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy!
Aunt Manai is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"
Siti slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the
bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door.
Sure enough,there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor.
"You rotten bitch," she screams.
"My husband's having a heart attack, and
you're running around naked scaring the kids!!"
"What's up?" she asks.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.
Siti rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy!
Aunt Manai is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"
Siti slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the
bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door.
Sure enough,there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor.
"You rotten bitch," she screams.
"My husband's having a heart attack, and
you're running around naked scaring the kids!!"
Friday, June 29, 2007
Just for Laughes
One day an evil witch took over the forest, ''One-by-one, all of you useless animals have to come up here and tell a joke. If everybody laughs, you will be spared or else I'll cut off your head!''
The monkey went up first and told such a funny joke that all the animals laughed except fot a tortoise.. so the witch cut off his head.
Next, a giraffe went up and she, in turn told a joke that set all the animals off laughing... but still, the tortoise did not laugh... so the witch cut off her head.
Then, the rabbit went up... but before she could say a word, the tortoise
started laughing...
''Why are you laughing you stupid tortoise?'' the witch asked.
"The monkey's joke was very funny...'' was the reply.
The monkey went up first and told such a funny joke that all the animals laughed except fot a tortoise.. so the witch cut off his head.
Next, a giraffe went up and she, in turn told a joke that set all the animals off laughing... but still, the tortoise did not laugh... so the witch cut off her head.
Then, the rabbit went up... but before she could say a word, the tortoise
started laughing...
''Why are you laughing you stupid tortoise?'' the witch asked.
"The monkey's joke was very funny...'' was the reply.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Just For Laughes
A judge was interviewing an Indian lady regarding her pending divorce, and
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of
the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really
needed
one."
"Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I
do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a
divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a
divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of
the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really
needed
one."
"Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I
do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a
divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a
divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Prataman working
Prataman assured Singaporeans yesterday that detainees under the Internal Security Act (ISA) are protected by the law.
Asked by a leporter about the detention of polytechnic lecturer Abul Basher Abdul Kader - a 'self-radicalised' individual influenced by extremist propaganda on the Internet - Mr Prataman said that even in detention, 'there is a due process, there is a legislation'.
'The legislation provides what has to be done before you can detain a person and the recourse the person has against it. It's all there,' he said after touring the Harmony Centre. 'It's not something arbitrary.'
If the ISA Advisory Board recommends the release of a detainee, he cannot be further detained unless the President concurs. Under the Constitution, the President's concurrence is given in his discretion and not on the Cabinet's advice.
Since the Government announced the detention of 28-year-old Abdul Basher two weeks ago, concerns have been raised on the Internet about how he had been detained even though he had not yet committed any physical crime.
At the time of his arrest in February, he had made plans to pursue 'militant jihad' in Afghanistan by fighting beside the Taleban.
Mr Pratamen pointed out that crime, as understood traditionally, is different today.
He said: 'Terrorism is a kind of crime. To prove it is not easy.' He compared the threat of terror to the problems posed by secret societies in the past, where 'somebody will bash up somebody and you have no witnesses'.
'So when you're talking about due process, how do you bring these people out? How do you prove it? It's not something that is so simple.'
What is important, he said, is for countries in the region, such as Singapore and Malaysia, to understand the nature of terrorism and its impact on society.
Mr Prataman said the efforts of the Harmony Centre - set up in Bishan in October last year to promote a better understanding of Islam and promote inter-faith dialogue - help dispel the ignorant notion some people have that 'Islam is made up of terrorists'.
Profound man!
Asked by a leporter about the detention of polytechnic lecturer Abul Basher Abdul Kader - a 'self-radicalised' individual influenced by extremist propaganda on the Internet - Mr Prataman said that even in detention, 'there is a due process, there is a legislation'.
'The legislation provides what has to be done before you can detain a person and the recourse the person has against it. It's all there,' he said after touring the Harmony Centre. 'It's not something arbitrary.'
If the ISA Advisory Board recommends the release of a detainee, he cannot be further detained unless the President concurs. Under the Constitution, the President's concurrence is given in his discretion and not on the Cabinet's advice.
Since the Government announced the detention of 28-year-old Abdul Basher two weeks ago, concerns have been raised on the Internet about how he had been detained even though he had not yet committed any physical crime.
At the time of his arrest in February, he had made plans to pursue 'militant jihad' in Afghanistan by fighting beside the Taleban.
Mr Pratamen pointed out that crime, as understood traditionally, is different today.
He said: 'Terrorism is a kind of crime. To prove it is not easy.' He compared the threat of terror to the problems posed by secret societies in the past, where 'somebody will bash up somebody and you have no witnesses'.
'So when you're talking about due process, how do you bring these people out? How do you prove it? It's not something that is so simple.'
What is important, he said, is for countries in the region, such as Singapore and Malaysia, to understand the nature of terrorism and its impact on society.
Mr Prataman said the efforts of the Harmony Centre - set up in Bishan in October last year to promote a better understanding of Islam and promote inter-faith dialogue - help dispel the ignorant notion some people have that 'Islam is made up of terrorists'.
Profound man!
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Volunteer Urself
Specifically addressing young people, the Prataman urges everyone to “keep up the spirit of giving and volunteering”.
He said, "We are city dwellers living in comfort and it is very easy to forget that people affected by disasters are sometimes in a hopeless state."
"So I think it's good to encourage our young to help... there would be many areas where young people can go to sacrifice their time and effort and take part in projects."
Let us rally the public towards helping those in need of assistance and build a “more cohesive society”.
Who help me?
He said, "We are city dwellers living in comfort and it is very easy to forget that people affected by disasters are sometimes in a hopeless state."
"So I think it's good to encourage our young to help... there would be many areas where young people can go to sacrifice their time and effort and take part in projects."
Let us rally the public towards helping those in need of assistance and build a “more cohesive society”.
Who help me?
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Just for Laughes
Two Indian ladies had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very
faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the
Bacardi Breezers.
Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped
in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off
her panties and use them.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and
did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his
normally
sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the
other husband and said, "These darn girls nights have got to stop.
I'm starting to suspect the worst ... my wife came home with no
panties!"
"That's nothing" said the other husband, Sam Yee.
"Mine came back with a card stuck in the crack of her butt that said,
"From all of us at the Fire Station.
We'll never forget you."
faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the
Bacardi Breezers.
Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped
in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off
her panties and use them.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and
did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his
normally
sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the
other husband and said, "These darn girls nights have got to stop.
I'm starting to suspect the worst ... my wife came home with no
panties!"
"That's nothing" said the other husband, Sam Yee.
"Mine came back with a card stuck in the crack of her butt that said,
"From all of us at the Fire Station.
We'll never forget you."
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Condom Taboo in Malaysia
The Malaysian government cannot openly advocate condom use to fight AIDS in this Muslim-majority country, and so must rely on voluntary groups to promote the method, an official said Monday.
The government "strongly believes" in the use of condoms to prevent the spread of the HIV virus, said Jalal Halil Khalil, the deputy director of the Health Ministry's AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases unit.
"But some people may misinterpret us to be promoting promiscuity. So we cannot be too open ... we have to take into account religious sensitivities," he told The Associated Press.
He said parades and other mass campaigns to highlight condom use or discuss sex, as seen in neighboring Thailand, remained taboo here.
Earlier this year, the health ministry had warned the number of HIV infections in Malaysia could surge by more than fourfold to 300,000 by 2015 as the virus spread rapidly from high-risk groups, such as drug addicts, to the general public.
On Sunday, the International AIDS Memorial Day, Jalal called on non-governmental organizations, such as the Malaysian AIDS Council, to take on the task of promoting condom use.
Malaysian AIDS Council president Adeeba Kamarulzaman told the AP although the group had been able to carry out education and awareness drives, it had been impossible so far to put on a big generalized campaign, using the mass media for example.
The government "strongly believes" in the use of condoms to prevent the spread of the HIV virus, said Jalal Halil Khalil, the deputy director of the Health Ministry's AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases unit.
"But some people may misinterpret us to be promoting promiscuity. So we cannot be too open ... we have to take into account religious sensitivities," he told The Associated Press.
He said parades and other mass campaigns to highlight condom use or discuss sex, as seen in neighboring Thailand, remained taboo here.
Earlier this year, the health ministry had warned the number of HIV infections in Malaysia could surge by more than fourfold to 300,000 by 2015 as the virus spread rapidly from high-risk groups, such as drug addicts, to the general public.
On Sunday, the International AIDS Memorial Day, Jalal called on non-governmental organizations, such as the Malaysian AIDS Council, to take on the task of promoting condom use.
Malaysian AIDS Council president Adeeba Kamarulzaman told the AP although the group had been able to carry out education and awareness drives, it had been impossible so far to put on a big generalized campaign, using the mass media for example.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Management Screws
Ah Neh wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else.
So one day, Ah Neh got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.
Ah Neh said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called herboyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won' t even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!
So one day, Ah Neh got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.
Ah Neh said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called herboyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won' t even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Just for Laughes
A peasant was overseeing his herd of animals in the last family farm in Singapore when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the peasant, "If I tell you exactly how many sows and piglets you have in your herd, Will you give me a piglet?"
The peasant looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his HP notebook computer, connects it to his RAZRV3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls upa GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution on photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, hereceives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed andthe data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the peasant and says,"You have exactly 986 pigs and piglets." "That's right. Well, I guess youcan take one of my piglets," says the peasant. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the peasant says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my piglet?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
You're a MP for the PAP", says the peasant.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the peasant "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarterthan me you are; and you don't know a thing about pigs...this is a herd of goats.
Now give me back my dog.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the peasant, "If I tell you exactly how many sows and piglets you have in your herd, Will you give me a piglet?"
The peasant looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his HP notebook computer, connects it to his RAZRV3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls upa GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution on photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, hereceives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed andthe data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the peasant and says,"You have exactly 986 pigs and piglets." "That's right. Well, I guess youcan take one of my piglets," says the peasant. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the peasant says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my piglet?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
You're a MP for the PAP", says the peasant.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the peasant "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarterthan me you are; and you don't know a thing about pigs...this is a herd of goats.
Now give me back my dog.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Heaven and Hell
A Malaysian dies and goes to hell.There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.He goes first to the German hell and asks: "What do they do here?"
He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of theday."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves onHe checks out the American hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Malaysian hell and finds that there is a verylong line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Malaysian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?
Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goesto the canteen for teh-tarik..&...chit chat
He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of theday."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves onHe checks out the American hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Malaysian hell and finds that there is a verylong line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Malaysian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?
Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goesto the canteen for teh-tarik..&...chit chat
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Malaysia FTA with USA
Have you seen the Made-in-Malaysia car "Kancil"? You know, that very little 600cc car??? Well, Dr M really wanted to sell it to the US, so when Dr M paid a visit to the White House after finishing formal discussions with George Bush, Dr M checks with Bush to find out if there is a way to sell the Kancil in the USA .
After having looked at the brochure, Bush said, "You know, I think this 'KERNCHILL' is too small for us Americans." Not one who gives up easily, Dr M persisted and finally Bush offered, "Ok, take this number down. This guy is my good buddy and he's also the CEO of the biggest compact car distributor in North America ."
Dr M was satisfied with the meeting and returns to Malaysia . The next day
he called the number and a lady answered *,"TOYS R US , can I help you?"*
After having looked at the brochure, Bush said, "You know, I think this 'KERNCHILL' is too small for us Americans." Not one who gives up easily, Dr M persisted and finally Bush offered, "Ok, take this number down. This guy is my good buddy and he's also the CEO of the biggest compact car distributor in North America ."
Dr M was satisfied with the meeting and returns to Malaysia . The next day
he called the number and a lady answered *,"TOYS R US , can I help you?"*
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Malaysian's Choice
There are three major races in Malaysia - Malay, Chinese and Indian.
The Malays have the political power and so they set up the party UMNO, which literally means "U Must Not Object".
The Chinese, on the other hand, controls most of the economy and they called their party MCA which means "Money Conquers All".
Then there are the Indians who have no say in politics or economics. They set up their party called MIC. Hence, every Parliamentary meeting the Indians would ask : "Must I Come?"
The Malays have the political power and so they set up the party UMNO, which literally means "U Must Not Object".
The Chinese, on the other hand, controls most of the economy and they called their party MCA which means "Money Conquers All".
Then there are the Indians who have no say in politics or economics. They set up their party called MIC. Hence, every Parliamentary meeting the Indians would ask : "Must I Come?"
Monday, April 16, 2007
Indian Man
Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated, an Indian study has found.
The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run centre, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 per cent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had penises about 2.4cm shorter than those condoms catered for.
For a further 30 per cent, the difference was at least 5cm. A poor fit meant the prophylactics often didn't do the job they were bought for, and led to some tearing or slipping off during use.
'One of the reasons for a failure of up to 20 per cent (of condoms) is the association of the size of the condom to the erect penis,' the council's Dr Chander Puri said, adding another reason was couples often put them on in a hurry.
He said many men in India, which has the world's highest HIV positive caseload, were too shy to ask for condoms.
'We need more vending machines for condoms of different sizes so people can pick a condom with confidence that is suited to their needs,' he said.
The Times of India reported the ICMR survey had studied 1,400 men between 18-50 years of age in cities like Mumbai and New Delhi as well as in rural areas in a report. It entitled its story 'Indian men don't measure up'.
After a quick check on the Internet, I have ascertained that it is hardly a problem unique to India. It seems to happen all over the world - men struggle with condoms that are either too big or too small. I guess the nature of the product is that it has to fit very well - there isn't much much margin for error.
The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run centre, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 per cent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had penises about 2.4cm shorter than those condoms catered for.
For a further 30 per cent, the difference was at least 5cm. A poor fit meant the prophylactics often didn't do the job they were bought for, and led to some tearing or slipping off during use.
'One of the reasons for a failure of up to 20 per cent (of condoms) is the association of the size of the condom to the erect penis,' the council's Dr Chander Puri said, adding another reason was couples often put them on in a hurry.
He said many men in India, which has the world's highest HIV positive caseload, were too shy to ask for condoms.
'We need more vending machines for condoms of different sizes so people can pick a condom with confidence that is suited to their needs,' he said.
The Times of India reported the ICMR survey had studied 1,400 men between 18-50 years of age in cities like Mumbai and New Delhi as well as in rural areas in a report. It entitled its story 'Indian men don't measure up'.
After a quick check on the Internet, I have ascertained that it is hardly a problem unique to India. It seems to happen all over the world - men struggle with condoms that are either too big or too small. I guess the nature of the product is that it has to fit very well - there isn't much much margin for error.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Indian Complaint
An Indian COO can expect to earn a median salary of US$110,000, which translates into a pay-cheque of US$123,000 in Mumbai. If you’re a Chief Computer Programmer, expect an Indian average of US$24,000 – and of US$27,000 in Mumbai.
In cybermecca Bangalore, the same job will get US$21,000.
A skeptical Indian reader, Ram Potukuchi, wrote in to ask:
I read with interest your views on immigration—that it is not beneficial. As far as chain migration immigration and illegal immigration, you are probably correct. However, I would like to hear your views on these facts.
Immigrants (the majority from India) make up at least 28% of the engineers, scientists, computer programmers in this country. They also probably make up at least 5% of the doctors. Many of these doctors complete their residencies in hospitals American doctors would not train at (such as DC General Hospital in Washington D.C.). The doctors tend to practice in areas that American doctors would not want to practice in (i.e. black and Hispanic areas, rural areas).
While there may be a glut in physician supply, there is a shortage of doctors for poor people. Indian medical labor has been filling this gap for the past thirty years, a fact never mentioned on your website.
As for the other technical areas (engineering, computers, etc) the reality is that much of it is handled by Indians (or other immigrants). American students are weak in science and engineering, and America has to recruit to fill in the gaps. America has been recruiting these people for over thirty years. (My father was one of them, that’s why I’m living in the U.S.) Even today at companies like The Boeing Company, it is very difficult to recruit American-born
engineers in certain specialities (like microwave engineering, for example). The immigrants who get these jobs are not “cheap labor” as you suggest (starting salaries for an M.S. at $120,000 a year, much higher than the American family income). The immigrant engineers are not “displacing” Americans; there are few if any Americans to fill these jobs. I gave you one example (Boeing) but I could give you others (TRW, Lockheed, etc.). In Silicon Valley immigrants make up 40% of the “high-tech” workforce and these jobs pay a starting salary of $60,000 and the wages go up. They also are not “displacing” anybody, the American workforce as a whole cannot do this work. I doubt that many (or even any) of your “think-tank” writers has any idea what goes on in the computer, medical, or engineering fields. If you did you would have to explain away facts like these. If you don’t believe what I write, go to the aerospace companies or Silicon Valley or inner-city and rural health clinics and find out for yourself.
Also, it should be noted that if a company like Boeing is doing well, it “trickles down” to all the workers at Boeing (assemblers, technicians, managers, etc.) In that sense these immigrants help the economy, much more than your “ivory tower” sociological theories. America is the world leader in technology yet American students are, at best, mediocre in science and mathematics. Since the business and government leaders know this, they keep importing people. The people in charge really don’t pay attention to your theories—you write articles for each other, and
another generation of technical help comes into the U.S.
We asked Norm Matloff to reply:
The author here has trotted out several of the tried and true shibboleths concocted by the computer industry lobbyists. I’ll respond in brief here, and refer the reader to my updated congressional testimony, for details.
The author first points out that a substantial number of high-tech workers in this country are immigrants. True, but misleading, as his implication is that without those immigrants the jobs would be unfilled, which is not the case.
Actually, 30% of our nation’s small motels are owned by immigrants. Does the author really believe that without Indians we would not have motels?
The fact is that we are greatly underutilizing our own workers trained in the computers area. For example, 20 years after graduation from college, only 19% of computer science majors are still employed as programmers. This compares, for instance, to a figure of 57% of civil engineering majors who are still working as civil engineers 20 years after leaving school. Many were forced out of the field by the rampant age discrimination in this industry. It is they who
should be filling these jobs, not immigrants.
On the other end of the age scale, fewer than half of new graduates in computer science get programming jobs. The rest are shunted into semitechnical work like customer support, while the H-1Bs are hired for the programming.
I do believe that we should facilitate the immigration of “the best and the brightest” from around the world, but most of the foreign computer workers are not in that category at all. INS statistics show, for example, that 75% of the H-1B visa workers in the computer area make less than $55,000 per year, hardly “genius” pay for this profession, which can run to $100,000 and more.
The author mentions engineers at Boeing. Since I am a computer scientist and not an electrical engineer, I cannot comment in detail. But it is irrelevant, since the vast majority of high-tech H-1Bs are computer programmers, not engineers. For example, among H-1Bs, those with computer science degrees outnumber those with electrical engineering degrees by a ratio of 15-to-1.
That by the way is also the reason why the author’s claim that “Americans are weak in science and math” is irrelevant—one does not use science and math in programming.
For the record, his claim is also incorrect. American test scores in international comparisons in science and math are negatively impacted by our large underclass, which the East Asian nations do not have. U.S. states which do not have the dilemma of teaching a large underclass (a major component of which, by the way, is immigrants), such as Iowa, Nebraska and Utah, have test scores comparable to those of South Korea et al. The U.S. has double the per-
capita number of engineers that S. Korea does, and is second in the world in this regard, after Israel. Oddly, the author says a good a source of programmers and engineers is India—a country whose test scores would be abysmal if one included the nation’s 400 million illiterates. Come on, you can’t have it both ways.
I would also point out that Boeing is one of the worst examples the author could cite, as their expressed goal is to save on salary costs. A Boeing representative at an industry-sponsored “high-tech shortage” conference told me that Boeing does not even bother to recruit new graduates of California universities, as they are too expensive.
If the author does not believe the H-1Bs are paid less on average than comparable Americans, he should read the studies performed at UCLA and Cornell University which show the wage exploitation—with both studies being authored by prominent immigrant advocates. And one doesn’t even need studies, as the exploitation is clear from basic economic principles: Due to the de facto indentured servitude of most H-1Bs, they cannot get higher pay by changing
employers or by threatening to do so. Thus by definition, on average they cannot get as high a salary as they would if they were able to move freely about in the labor market.
In cybermecca Bangalore, the same job will get US$21,000.
A skeptical Indian reader, Ram Potukuchi, wrote in to ask:
I read with interest your views on immigration—that it is not beneficial. As far as chain migration immigration and illegal immigration, you are probably correct. However, I would like to hear your views on these facts.
Immigrants (the majority from India) make up at least 28% of the engineers, scientists, computer programmers in this country. They also probably make up at least 5% of the doctors. Many of these doctors complete their residencies in hospitals American doctors would not train at (such as DC General Hospital in Washington D.C.). The doctors tend to practice in areas that American doctors would not want to practice in (i.e. black and Hispanic areas, rural areas).
While there may be a glut in physician supply, there is a shortage of doctors for poor people. Indian medical labor has been filling this gap for the past thirty years, a fact never mentioned on your website.
As for the other technical areas (engineering, computers, etc) the reality is that much of it is handled by Indians (or other immigrants). American students are weak in science and engineering, and America has to recruit to fill in the gaps. America has been recruiting these people for over thirty years. (My father was one of them, that’s why I’m living in the U.S.) Even today at companies like The Boeing Company, it is very difficult to recruit American-born
engineers in certain specialities (like microwave engineering, for example). The immigrants who get these jobs are not “cheap labor” as you suggest (starting salaries for an M.S. at $120,000 a year, much higher than the American family income). The immigrant engineers are not “displacing” Americans; there are few if any Americans to fill these jobs. I gave you one example (Boeing) but I could give you others (TRW, Lockheed, etc.). In Silicon Valley immigrants make up 40% of the “high-tech” workforce and these jobs pay a starting salary of $60,000 and the wages go up. They also are not “displacing” anybody, the American workforce as a whole cannot do this work. I doubt that many (or even any) of your “think-tank” writers has any idea what goes on in the computer, medical, or engineering fields. If you did you would have to explain away facts like these. If you don’t believe what I write, go to the aerospace companies or Silicon Valley or inner-city and rural health clinics and find out for yourself.
Also, it should be noted that if a company like Boeing is doing well, it “trickles down” to all the workers at Boeing (assemblers, technicians, managers, etc.) In that sense these immigrants help the economy, much more than your “ivory tower” sociological theories. America is the world leader in technology yet American students are, at best, mediocre in science and mathematics. Since the business and government leaders know this, they keep importing people. The people in charge really don’t pay attention to your theories—you write articles for each other, and
another generation of technical help comes into the U.S.
We asked Norm Matloff to reply:
The author here has trotted out several of the tried and true shibboleths concocted by the computer industry lobbyists. I’ll respond in brief here, and refer the reader to my updated congressional testimony, for details.
The author first points out that a substantial number of high-tech workers in this country are immigrants. True, but misleading, as his implication is that without those immigrants the jobs would be unfilled, which is not the case.
Actually, 30% of our nation’s small motels are owned by immigrants. Does the author really believe that without Indians we would not have motels?
The fact is that we are greatly underutilizing our own workers trained in the computers area. For example, 20 years after graduation from college, only 19% of computer science majors are still employed as programmers. This compares, for instance, to a figure of 57% of civil engineering majors who are still working as civil engineers 20 years after leaving school. Many were forced out of the field by the rampant age discrimination in this industry. It is they who
should be filling these jobs, not immigrants.
On the other end of the age scale, fewer than half of new graduates in computer science get programming jobs. The rest are shunted into semitechnical work like customer support, while the H-1Bs are hired for the programming.
I do believe that we should facilitate the immigration of “the best and the brightest” from around the world, but most of the foreign computer workers are not in that category at all. INS statistics show, for example, that 75% of the H-1B visa workers in the computer area make less than $55,000 per year, hardly “genius” pay for this profession, which can run to $100,000 and more.
The author mentions engineers at Boeing. Since I am a computer scientist and not an electrical engineer, I cannot comment in detail. But it is irrelevant, since the vast majority of high-tech H-1Bs are computer programmers, not engineers. For example, among H-1Bs, those with computer science degrees outnumber those with electrical engineering degrees by a ratio of 15-to-1.
That by the way is also the reason why the author’s claim that “Americans are weak in science and math” is irrelevant—one does not use science and math in programming.
For the record, his claim is also incorrect. American test scores in international comparisons in science and math are negatively impacted by our large underclass, which the East Asian nations do not have. U.S. states which do not have the dilemma of teaching a large underclass (a major component of which, by the way, is immigrants), such as Iowa, Nebraska and Utah, have test scores comparable to those of South Korea et al. The U.S. has double the per-
capita number of engineers that S. Korea does, and is second in the world in this regard, after Israel. Oddly, the author says a good a source of programmers and engineers is India—a country whose test scores would be abysmal if one included the nation’s 400 million illiterates. Come on, you can’t have it both ways.
I would also point out that Boeing is one of the worst examples the author could cite, as their expressed goal is to save on salary costs. A Boeing representative at an industry-sponsored “high-tech shortage” conference told me that Boeing does not even bother to recruit new graduates of California universities, as they are too expensive.
If the author does not believe the H-1Bs are paid less on average than comparable Americans, he should read the studies performed at UCLA and Cornell University which show the wage exploitation—with both studies being authored by prominent immigrant advocates. And one doesn’t even need studies, as the exploitation is clear from basic economic principles: Due to the de facto indentured servitude of most H-1Bs, they cannot get higher pay by changing
employers or by threatening to do so. Thus by definition, on average they cannot get as high a salary as they would if they were able to move freely about in the labor market.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Bob Farewell
The team are shocked and saddened to hear of the death of Bob Woolmer. He devoted his life to cricket, both as a
player and in particular as an innovative and respected coach. He will be sorely missed by the cricket community.
Our sincere and heartfelt condolences go to his wife, Gill and sons Dale and Russell.
Godspeed Bob, go in peace."May your pitch in the sky be evenpaced, the boundaries small and the sky always blue. - Anon"
player and in particular as an innovative and respected coach. He will be sorely missed by the cricket community.
Our sincere and heartfelt condolences go to his wife, Gill and sons Dale and Russell.
Godspeed Bob, go in peace."May your pitch in the sky be evenpaced, the boundaries small and the sky always blue. - Anon"
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Understanding the red dot
The holy dot or bindi (also known as kumkum, mangalya, tilak, sindhoor and by other names) is an auspicious makeup worn by young Hindu girls and women on their forehead.
The term is derived from bindu, the Sanskrit word for a dot or a point. It is usually a red dot made with vermilion (finely powdered bright red mercuric sulphide).
Considered a blessed symbol of Uma or Parvati, a bindi signifies female energy (shakti) and is believed to protect women and their husbands.
Traditionally a symbol of marriage (hence the widows did not wear vermilion), it has now become a decorative item and is worn today by unmarried girls and women of other religions as well.
No longer restricted in color or shape, bindis today are seen in many colors and designs and are manufactured with self-adhesives and felt.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Cricket is about Life and Death!
Wats so great about India's Cricket... Out in the first Round. One cannot lose its ball game, its about life and death. Murder they cried!
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Just for Laughes
Why do Indian women have a red dot on their foreheads?
Because their husbands are always using their index finger to poke them between their eyes (right above their nose) and say "Can you please Stop shaking your head!"
Because their husbands are always using their index finger to poke them between their eyes (right above their nose) and say "Can you please Stop shaking your head!"
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Laughing Sessions
Indians are singularly humourless people who find it difficult to laugh unless it is prescribed by a doctor and administered as a dose good for our health. Go to any park in any city and you will see middle-aged men and women with long, sad faces looking as if they had just broken away form a funeral procession for a few minutes to rest their feet before rejoining it.
They line up on a lawn like soldiers on drill and await their leader’s command to begin their exercise. He raises one arm; they fall silent. He brings it down with a jerk, they start laughing – hee, hee, hee – haw, haw, haw – and bray like donkeys for full fifteen minutes. Their leader raises his hand again. They fall silent. Put back their long, sad faces, break lines and rejoin the funeral procession.
They line up on a lawn like soldiers on drill and await their leader’s command to begin their exercise. He raises one arm; they fall silent. He brings it down with a jerk, they start laughing – hee, hee, hee – haw, haw, haw – and bray like donkeys for full fifteen minutes. Their leader raises his hand again. They fall silent. Put back their long, sad faces, break lines and rejoin the funeral procession.
Just for Laughes
A man appeared at the box office of a cinema and bought two tickets. A few minutes later he returned and bought two more.
When, after a short interval, he appeared a third time and offered to pay for two more, the ticket-seller opened the little door in the glass and spoke up. 'Aren't you the same gentleman who just bought two tickets and two others just a while ago?' she asked, puzzled.
'Yes,' replied Banta Singh plaintively, 'but there's some fool at the gate who keeps tearing them up!'
When, after a short interval, he appeared a third time and offered to pay for two more, the ticket-seller opened the little door in the glass and spoke up. 'Aren't you the same gentleman who just bought two tickets and two others just a while ago?' she asked, puzzled.
'Yes,' replied Banta Singh plaintively, 'but there's some fool at the gate who keeps tearing them up!'
Monday, March 19, 2007
Indian Engineers
Two with a price of ONE. & its cheaper...
When tenders were floated for the channel tunnel to connect England & France, many international building companies vied with one another to get the contract. The stakes were very high;
the job of digging building expertise. Tenders were opened by the Board of Directors of the Anglo-French corporation which had taken on the project. British builders' estimates were over 200 million dollar, each;
French & German builders were marginally lower. There was one from India: Singh & Singh Builders whose estimate was only 5 million dollars. The Board was for ignoring the Indian tender but out of curiosity invited Singh & Singh over to discuss the plans.
Banta Singh & Santa Singh of Singh & Singh Builders appeared before the Board.
The Chairman asked them "Have you any experience of undertaking this kind of work?" "Indeed we have," replied the two Singhs, "we bored a lot of tubewells in the Punjab & Haryana. We can bore holes anywhere.""This is not as simple.
How will you connect the tunnel from the English side to the French?" "Simple," replied Santa Singh, "Banta Singh will dig from the French end & I from the English." The Chairman was flabbergasted. "You don't realise that it will need a lot of accurate calculation to get the two tunnels to meet at the same point under the channel.
Other companies' estimates are over 200 million dollars each & you think you can do the same job for 5 million dollars.
How will that be possible?"
"What is bothering you?" demanded Singh & Singh, "if our two tunnels don't meet, instead of one we will give you two tunnels.
When tenders were floated for the channel tunnel to connect England & France, many international building companies vied with one another to get the contract. The stakes were very high;
the job of digging building expertise. Tenders were opened by the Board of Directors of the Anglo-French corporation which had taken on the project. British builders' estimates were over 200 million dollar, each;
French & German builders were marginally lower. There was one from India: Singh & Singh Builders whose estimate was only 5 million dollars. The Board was for ignoring the Indian tender but out of curiosity invited Singh & Singh over to discuss the plans.
Banta Singh & Santa Singh of Singh & Singh Builders appeared before the Board.
The Chairman asked them "Have you any experience of undertaking this kind of work?" "Indeed we have," replied the two Singhs, "we bored a lot of tubewells in the Punjab & Haryana. We can bore holes anywhere.""This is not as simple.
How will you connect the tunnel from the English side to the French?" "Simple," replied Santa Singh, "Banta Singh will dig from the French end & I from the English." The Chairman was flabbergasted. "You don't realise that it will need a lot of accurate calculation to get the two tunnels to meet at the same point under the channel.
Other companies' estimates are over 200 million dollars each & you think you can do the same job for 5 million dollars.
How will that be possible?"
"What is bothering you?" demanded Singh & Singh, "if our two tunnels don't meet, instead of one we will give you two tunnels.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Just for Laughes
What is a Bhai standoff?
Two Bhais bathing together, and one drops the soap!
What do you call the Singh who can swim underwater?
GS Gills
Did ya hear about the Bhai who was sent to jailfor beating up his wife?
The judge said he was rotten to the core (kaur)!
What do you call a Bhai playboy centerfold?
Boh Cheng Kaur (Hokkien - "Not Wearing Pants")
What do you call a horny Bhai?
Gian Singh
Why is the KLIA a favourite for Singhs?
Because they have special immigration lanes for "ORANG AH SINGH"
What do you call the new KLIA taxis?
Limosinghs
What did the Singh say in his traffic accident report?
Dia belakang mari!
In the wild west, what did the Apache say to the Singh?
Umm...you make good scalp, already pre-wrapped!
What do you call a Bhai girl who likes hot choclate?
Co Kaur (Cocoa)
What do you call a Bhai girl who's an interior decorator?
De Kaur (Decor)
What do you call a Bhai girl who's a gangster?
Tai Kaur
What is the official mode of transportation for Bhais?
Bhaicycle (bicycle)
Why are Bhai jokes so stupid?
So that the Chinese, Melayu and Tamil buggers can understand them!(from Taranjit Singh)
Two Bhais bathing together, and one drops the soap!
What do you call the Singh who can swim underwater?
GS Gills
Did ya hear about the Bhai who was sent to jailfor beating up his wife?
The judge said he was rotten to the core (kaur)!
What do you call a Bhai playboy centerfold?
Boh Cheng Kaur (Hokkien - "Not Wearing Pants")
What do you call a horny Bhai?
Gian Singh
Why is the KLIA a favourite for Singhs?
Because they have special immigration lanes for "ORANG AH SINGH"
What do you call the new KLIA taxis?
Limosinghs
What did the Singh say in his traffic accident report?
Dia belakang mari!
In the wild west, what did the Apache say to the Singh?
Umm...you make good scalp, already pre-wrapped!
What do you call a Bhai girl who likes hot choclate?
Co Kaur (Cocoa)
What do you call a Bhai girl who's an interior decorator?
De Kaur (Decor)
What do you call a Bhai girl who's a gangster?
Tai Kaur
What is the official mode of transportation for Bhais?
Bhaicycle (bicycle)
Why are Bhai jokes so stupid?
So that the Chinese, Melayu and Tamil buggers can understand them!(from Taranjit Singh)
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
Just for Laughes
Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box.
Curious, he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box, kid?"
The little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."
Al Gore laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"
"Democrats," the child says. "Oh, that's cute," Al Gore says and he runs off.
A couple of days later, Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead.
Al says to Bill, "You gotta check this out," and they both jog over to the boy with the box. Al says, "Look in the box Bill, isn't that cute?
Look at those little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Bill what kind of kittens they are." The boy replies, "They're Republicans."
"Whoa!" Al says, "I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats.
What's up?" "Well," the kid says, "Their eyes are open now."
Curious, he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box, kid?"
The little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."
Al Gore laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"
"Democrats," the child says. "Oh, that's cute," Al Gore says and he runs off.
A couple of days later, Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead.
Al says to Bill, "You gotta check this out," and they both jog over to the boy with the box. Al says, "Look in the box Bill, isn't that cute?
Look at those little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Bill what kind of kittens they are." The boy replies, "They're Republicans."
"Whoa!" Al says, "I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats.
What's up?" "Well," the kid says, "Their eyes are open now."
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