Heaven

Little Musa was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first.

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God."

The teacher praises the little girl as a little boy raises his hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love."

"Very good," said the teacher. The teacher looked up and saw Little Musa's hand up. "Oh no," she thought, "I'm not gonna like this. Little Musa, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?"

Little Musa thinks for a minute and says, "Your feet." The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first.

He replied, "Well, I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, 'Oh God, I'm coming!'"

Babies

Little Musa was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"
"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish parent. "The stork brought you to us."
"Oh..." replied Musa. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.
"Oh, the stork brought us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the parent, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

Just for Laughes

Little Mamo is walking with his father in the park and they see two dogs locked in a sexual embrace. Little Mamo not understanding what the dogs are doing asks his father,

"Daddy, what are those two dogs doing? To which the father replies,
"They're making a puppy!"

Later that night Mamo wakes up and walks down the hall to his parents bedroom and catches his mother and father making love. Mamo asks his father,

"Daddy what are you and mommy doing?" To which the father replies,

"Mamo we're making you a little sister." Mamo thinks for a few moments and responds,
"Well, daddy could you roll her over?

I'd rather have a puppy!"

Just for Laughes

Little Mamo's parents divorced and he lived with his mother. One day he heard his mom saying, ' I need a man, I need a man'. He peeped from the keyhole and saw his mom playing with her genitals, saying, " I need a man, I desperately need a man. "

The next week, Little Mamo heard his mom screaming inside her room. To his surprise, he saw a man jumping on her through the keyhole.

He ran to his room and began playing with his little dicky, saying, " I need a bike, I desperately need a bike."

Just for Laughes

Ah Beng, Bhai and Ahmad were convicted of raping an Ang Mo chioh boo and sentenced to death. In mitigation their lawyer said they were first offenders and very remorseful so thejudge said he would be lenient and allow them to choose how they wanted to be put to death; after all, he couldn't double the sentence...

Ah Beng said he want to die like Rambo in a hail of bullets and like a lau hero he faced the firing squad."Ni na beh..." Bang! and he was dead.

Bhai wanted to show his piousness by returning to tradition, so he asked to be hanged naked from a treewith vines and his request was duly granted.

Mat wanted asked for death by lethal injection, but to show he was an "innovative" modern Mat, requested that he be injected with the Aids virus. On the day of execution the doctor told him that he was sorry to have to do this and that it was actually against the Hippocratic oath but he had no choice.

Mat just smiled and whispered "Relac ah, Doc! I won't die. Today I know you coming so I wore condom!"

Just for Laughes

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community.

So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave.

The Jews realized that they had no other choice. So they picked a Rabbi to represent them.
The Rabbi asked for one condition to be added to the debate. "To make it more interesting", he said, "neither side would be allowed to talk."

The Pope agreed. The day of the great debate came. The Rabbi and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fihgers. The Rabbi looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in acircle around his head. The Rabbi pointed to the ground at where he sat. The Pope pulled out aloaf and a glass of wine. The Rabbi pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said: "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can Stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represnt the Holy Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there is one God common to both out religions."

"Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God is all around us."He responded by pointing to the ground showing "God is also right here with us."

"I pull out the wine and loaf to show that God absolves all sin. He showed me an apple to remind us of the original sin. He had an answer for everything.

"What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around the Rabbi. "What Happened?" They asked.

"Well," said the Rabbi, "First he indicated to me that all the Jews had 3 days to get out of here. I indicated to him to fuck off and that not one of us would be leaving. Then he pointed out that this whole city would be cleared of Jews.

I showed him that we are staying right here." "Yes, and then???" asked the crowd.

"I don't know", said the Rabbi, "He suddenly took out his lunch and I took out mine!!!"

Super Singh Jr

A first grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students studying at YPS Patiala.

The teacher asked, "Singh Jr, Wats your problem?"

Sungh Jr answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My Sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than her! So I think I should be in the third grade too!"

Ms Neelamhad enough. She took Singh Jr to the principal's office. While Singh Jr waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer an of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave.

Singh Jr was bought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 X 3?"
Singh Jr: "9".
Principal: "What is 9 X 9?"
Singh Jr: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grade should know.
The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Singh Jr can go to the third grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions . Can I ask him?"

The principal an Singh Jr both agree.

Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Singh Jr: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Singh Jr: "Pull his Pants"
Ms Neelam: "What stars with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contain thin whitish liquid?
Singh Jr: "Coconut."
Ms Neelam: " What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer....
Singh Jr: " Bubblegum."
Ms Neelam: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Singh Jr: "Shake hands."
Ms Neelam: "Now I will ask some "Who am I " sort of questions, OK?"
Singh Jr: "Yap"
Ms Neelam: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."
Singh Jr: "Tent."
Ms Neelam: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."
The principal was looking restless, abit tense and took one large Patiala Volka peg.
Singh Jr: "Wedding Ring."
Ms Neelam: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Singh Jr: "Nose."
Ms Neelam: "What word starts with a "F" and ends in "K" that means a lot of heat and excitement?
Singh Jr: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Him Delhi University, I got the last few wrong myself!"

$50 Indian Gays in Little India

Foreign workers caught moonlighting as sex workers

EVERYBODY has heard about women from China soliciting for sex in the red-light district at Geylang and at massage parlours.

But a different form of the crime is also taking place in Little India, this time involving men.
Tonight, Get Rea! — Channel NewsAsia's current affairs programme — kicks off its fifth season with an exclusive report on the male foreign workers involved in such activities at the heart of Serangoon Road. A lot of the action is said to take place near popular shopping areas.

Get Rea! went undercover to see if the story was true. Its undercover agent, Sam, approached some of these men, known on the street as $50 men. One asked him whether he wanted to go and have sex in a room for $50.

Eventually, Sam struck a "deal" with the man for $45. The man told Sam he was a construction worker by day.

According to sources, some of these men are unaware that what they are doing is against the law, although several have already been caught.

From June to August, more than 10 men — including foreigners — have been caught and charged with soliciting in the Little India area.

If convicted of soliciting in a public place, they face a fine of up to $2,000, a jail term of up to six months, or both.

Just for Laughes

Three ah nehs had walked down to the train station from the University. They were so absorbed in their conversation that they didn't hear the train arrive, but they did notice the noise of the train as it started to depart.

After a desperate rush two of them manage to scramble onboard. The third looked sad and a passing railway official said, 'Don't feel bad, at least two out of three of you made it.'

'True…', sighed Musa, 'But the other two were only here to see me off!'

The Ah Neh Blogger

Meet the Ah Neh Blogger

http://sambharmafia.blogspot.com/

Just for Laughes

Little Mamu says to his mother, "Mommy, I have to go and wee wee."

The mother replies back, " Would you like Mommy to take you to the toilet?"

The little boy responds back, "No, let grandma... her hand shakes a lot!"

New India Budget Airlines

No wonder their airlines make money!

Just For Laughes

Just before takeoff on a commercial flight, a stewardess asked Little Ali to make sure his seat belt was fastened.

"Superman don't need no seat belt," he protested.

She answered: "Superman doesn't have a name called Ali, neither does He need to travel in an airplane." He fastened it.

Just For Laughes

Xiao Xin needed $100 very badly and his mother told him to pray to God for it. He prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing turned up. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they opened it up, and decided to send it to the President Ah Bian.

Ah Bian was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the Xiao Xin $5. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

Xiao Xin was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write a thank-you letter to God which reads as follows: Dear God, Thank you so very much for sending me the money. I noticed you sent it through The Central Government. As usual those bastards deducted $95 as tax.

La Pi Xiao Xin

In class today, the teacher was discussing starvation. So she asked volunteers to come up to the chalkboard to draw their own idea of starvation. But she knew better than to call on Xiao Xin because , well to put it lightly, Xiao Xin was a nuisance.

Although Xiao Xin was the only kid in class with his hand up the teacher called on Jose. So Jose goes up and draws a round circle on the board and a bunch of dots in the circle.

The teacher asks him, "What is that, Jose?" And he says, "starvation is when all you have for dinner is a bunch of peas..."The teacher says, "That's great Jose, but not quite what I'm looking for"

She begins to seek another volunteer, even though Xiao Xin is the only one with his hand up she calls on Suzy. Suzy goes up and draws a circle and only puts 2 dots in it, and explains to the teacher that starvation is only having two peas for dinner. and again the teacher says, "Well that s great but not what were looking for"... So finally she calls on Xiao Xin even though she knows she'll regret it.

Xiao Xin comes up and draws a big circle and draws a bunch of skribbly lines in it and the teach is thinking,,, well here it comes ,,,,,,,, she says, "O.K. Xiao Xin, tell us what's your idea of starvation is".

And Xiao Xin says "WELL, TEACHER ,,,, THIS CIRCLE IS A BIG ASSHOLE,,,, AND ALL THESE SKRIBBLES ARE COB-WEBS"

Ha Ha

Little Indejit and his grandfather are fishing. Granddad pulls out a beer and the little boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have one of those?"

Grandpa replies back, "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" Little Indejit responds, "No." "Then you can't have one."

A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the boy asks, "Can I have one of those?"
Grandpa says, "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" Little Indejit responds "No." "Then you can't have one."

Later on, grandpa and grandson go to the grocery store for food and each buy a lottery ticket. Grandpa is unlucky, but little Indejit says, "I just won $50,000!" Grandpa says, "Great, your going to split that with me, right?"

The little boy asks, "Grandpa, is your penis long enough to touch your asshole?" "Yes," says grandpa. "Then go fuck yourself."

Just for Laughes

Little Ali was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Ali, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?"

"None.", replied Ali. "cause the rest would fly away."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."

Little Ali said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone and the third sucking the cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"

"No," said Little Ali, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."

Just For laughes

Hi guys, this is a real one.

There was this phirang guy we knew who was visiting Delhi.
Being a newbie, hewas advised by everyone against travelling by Delhi Transport Company. However, adventurous as hewas, he boarded a DTC bus one day and much to his consternation, noticed the following on the back of the seat:

Look under your seat! There WOULD be a bomb! Raise Alarm! To earn AWARD!

This was his first ever DTC ride, and needless to say, his last one!

Just for Laughes

An American was on Air Indian on the way to Delhli. Thinking that the journey is a long one he turn to an indian passenger, trying to start a conversation.

"Hi, who r u? U from India?" The Indian man felt disturbed...

And he replied, "Do you know how to talk about shit?"

The American said, "I rather not talk about such topic its not nice mentioning them here!"

The Indian shouted, "If you can't talk SHIT with me how can we continue our discussion on Nuclear Warheads?"

Just for Laughes

Ken visits his family friend, Ali's house who suffered a broken leg.
His friend said,"My feet are cold, pal. Can you go upstairs and fetch my slippers pls?"

Ken went up and there are his friend's gorgeous 19 year old twin daugthers in bed.

"Hi girls. Your dad sent me up here to slag you both," said Ken.

The first daugther says,"That's not true!"

"Yes it is!", says Ken, "I'll prove it."

So, Ken yells down to Ali," Both of them?"

His friend, Ali yells back,"Of Course both of them!"