Valentine's Day!

A little Indian boy comes home from first grade and tells his father that he learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"As Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Indians," he asks,"will God get angry at me for giving someone a valentine?"

The father thinks for a moment and then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," the boy says.

"Why Osama ," his father asks in disbelief.

"Well," Musa says, "I thought that if a little Indian boy couldhave enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd jump with joy. And then he'd go all over and tell everyone how much he loved them and howhe didn't hate anyone anymore."

Father's heart swells and he looks at his son with new found pride and joy."Musa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," Musa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Americans can shoot him."

Just for Laughes

An Ah Neh family was considering putting their grandfather in a Nursing home. Since most of the facilities were completely full, they had to put him in a Jewish home.
After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, they came to visit grandpa.
"How do you like it here?" asks the grandson.
"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," says grandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone."
"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here," grandpa says with a big smile.
"There's a musician here he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'!"
"There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him 'Your Honour'!"
"And there's a physician here -- 90 years ! old. He hasn't been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'!"

"And what about you Grandpa" - asks the grandson.
.
.
.
.
.
"And me...., I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'The fucking Indian!"

She Won!

After all the Racist out-cry she won!!!!

Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty has won Channel 4's reality TV show Celebrity Big Brother and bagged an estimated 100,000 pounds in prize money.
The results didn't come as a surprise because the leggy Indian star was tipped as the favourite to win. Shilpa, 31, the first Indian to participate in the British TV show, was reportedly paid in excess of 40,000 pounds for her participation. "She was leading all the betting sites," Shilpa's publicist Dale Bhagwagar had said.
Shilpa's being on the show, which started Jan 3, didn't make as much news as the racist slurs hurled against her by her housemates, namely British contestant Jade Goody who has since been voted out by the audience.
Housemates Goody, Danielle Lloyd and Jo O'Meara seemed to have ganged up against Shilpa during her stay. She became the subject of their snide and biting comments because of her svelte figure, poise and charm, good dressing sense and background as a popular Bollywood actor.
The racist comments caused outrage in India and Britain, with the issue figuring in the House of Commons and feminist diva Germaine Greer, and even two Indian ministers, demanding corrective action.
Shilpa, who made her debut in Bollywood with the 1993 super hit Baazigar which also starred reigning superstar Shah Rukh Khan, never managed to touch the skies as a star. Her slinky dance numbers were more appreciated than her emoting.
But now her popularity ratings have soared suddenly - thanks to the controversial reality show. "Hollywood film offers have started coming in.
Apart form the US and Britain, offers are coming from Spain and Singapore too. Also, the Indian film industry suddenly seems to have woken up to the new Shilpa," said Bhagwagar.
Other contestants who participated in it were Michael Jackson's brother Jermaine, A-Team star Dirk Benedict, Donny Tourette of punk band The Towers of London, ex-Steps star Ian "H" Watkins and "Kenny Everett" Show actress Cleo Rocos.

Letter to Prataman

I e-mailed a letter and an amended letter to the Honourable President of the Republic of Singapore.

January 26, 2007

Your Excellency
The Honourable President of the Republic of Singapore
Istana
Singapore
[via e-mail s_r_nathan@istana.gov.sg]

Dear Sir,

Re: The Compensation for the President

I was surprised and shocked to hear that the Parliament of Singapore considered it necessary and/or appropriate to increase the annual salary for the President of the Republic of Singapore. It appears that an annual bonus is also paid to the said President, regardless whether or not it is necessary, without consideration for the numerous needy and financially or medically or physically challenged citizens.

Any fair minded compassionate individual who cares for his or her fellow citizens would decline to accept the raise regardless whether or not Parliament approved the increase and the amount of the increase. It is not a matter that the President should be paid a sufficiently high salary to ensure that he is not corrupt, because I have heard that you are a person with integrity and one of the most trusted and respected citizens of the Singapore. In addition, any individual (who is retired) with a net worth of more than $2 million, if not $5 million, would humbly notify the government and the citizens that $2.6 million a year is too much, and perhaps suggest that he or she would gladly accept $365,000 a year or $1,000 a day (because almost everything is provided at the Istana), and designate the difference of approximately $2.2 million a year for fellow needy citizens. Otherwise, I urge you to forthwith donate the said amount per year to your favourite charitable organizations, and encourage others to do the same.

With respect, I urge you to consider changing the perceived materialistic attitude amongst Singaporeans, including the extravagantly paid Ministers, very generously paid members of the judiciary and senior civil servants, who do not consider service to country and citizens before "market value based" compensation. Please consider leaving a legacy by changing the perceived materialistic image of Singapore and Singaporeans.

Yours respectfully,

CKL
http://singaporeelection.blogspot.com/2007/01/letter-to-president-sr-nathan.html

Only in India

Just for laughes

India advertisment.

Racist Program?

BEAUTY AND THE BIGOTS: TV SHOW RIPPED OVER RACISM

Indian govt demands Britain take action for alleged mistreatment of Bollywood starlet;

Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty was bullied and subjected to racist slurs by Caucasian co-stars on the show Celebrity Big Brother. The actress was reduced to tears after being called a 'Paki' and a 'dog' on the show. In another taunt, a fellow contestant refused chicken cooked by Shetty.

'How do Indians eat with their fingers?' the contestant, model Danielle Lloyd, said. 'One doesn't know where their fingers have been.'

AH NEH NATION & SINKAPORE are BROS

SINGAPORE and India will need to negotiate a second Comprehensive Economic Cooperation Agreement (Ceca) as their economies integrate rapidly, Foreign Minister George Yeo said. He noted that Hong Kong and mainland China has a free trade agreement called the Closer Economic Partnership Agreement (Cepa).

Signed in June 2003, Cepa is based on a building block aproach for liberalisation of trade and services. A Cepa Four is currently being negotiated. 'I believe that in a few years' time, we will begin negotiating Ceca Two with India,' he said. He was addressing a partnership summit of the Confederation of Indian Industry (CII) on the theme India And Singapore - Roadmap To The Future.

Ceca, which came into force in August 2005, is a sweeping accord that covers trade, investment and services. Since its signing, bilateral trade has shot up, growing 40 per cent last year.

Singapore was the second-largest investor in India in the first seven months of last year, with total foreign direct investments of US$520 million (S$800 million). These numbers do not capture the full story because a lot of Singapore's investments in India are routed through Mauritius, said Mr M. Rajaram, vice-chairman of the Singapore Business Federation.

Singapore-India ties have been growing on several fronts. With 142 weekly flights between the two nations, India has become an important source of tourism for the island.

Political ties too have been growing apace. Earlier this month, Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh acknowledged his nation's debt to Singapore for helping it enter various regional organisations, including the East Asian Summit.

'Singapore is a special friend of India,' he said at an annual global Indian conference at which Singapore Deputy Prime Minister S. Jayakumar was the chief guest.

Little Musa, Ali and Yari were walking home from school one warm spring day. As they were cutting through the alleys and backyards, they happened to look through a hole in the fence of one of the yards where a woman was sunbathing in the nude.

As they looked through the hole, Musa suddenly started to scream and took off running for home. He ran so fast that he left his two friends behind.

The next day, as the three boys came home again, they found the same hole in the fence and started to watch the woman. Again, after just a few minutes, Musa started screaming, and ran off quickly.

On the third day, the boys were peeping into the hole in the fence again after school, when Musa turned around and started to run again. But this time, Ali and Yari grabbed him and demanded to know what was wrong.

Musa replied, "My mother told me that if I ever looked at a naked woman, I would turn to stone. And I started to feel a part of me getting awfully hard..."

Sex???

Little Musa just returned from school.

Little Musa: Mother I need to know what is sex?

Mother: Taken aback by the question but she does not want to disappoint the child. So she explains to the girl about sex for about an hour - how baby is created, marriage and making love.

Musa: After hearing her mother talk, she starts to cry.

Mother: Why are you crying?

Musa: Mum I don't know how to summarise all that you have said in this application which only has two answers for SEX: MALE / FEMALE.

Mother: Ah......!

So Wats Politics?

Little Musa goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So little Musa goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, little Musa says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

Little Musa replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

Just for Laughes

Sex Education

A third grade teacher told her class, "Children, we are going to begin to study a little sex education. Tonight, girls, your first assignment will be to find out from your parents how to avoid getting pregnant. For you boys, your assignment will be to go home and find out what a penis is."

So little Musa goes home and asks his father, "Daddy, what is a penis?"

The father pulls down his pants and points proudly saying, "Son, that is a perfect penis."

The next day, when Musa gets to school, his best friend runs up to him on the playground and says to Musa, "I forgot to find out what a penis is! What's a penis!"

Musa tells him, "Come on." So they both go into the boys room and Musa pulls down his pants. He points down and says, "There, if that was a little smaller, it would be a perfect penis!"

Just for laughes

Double Standards

Little Musa gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parent's bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole. He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my *thumb*"

GUESS WAT?

I have one
You have one
Your mother uses your father's one
And your auntie uses your uncle's one
A married lady would acquire one
But a divorced lady would lose her one
Think...
Arnold Schwarzenneger has a longer one
Michael J. Fox has a shorter one
Madonna doesn't have one
The Chinese usually have short ones
While the Indian usually have long ones
Do you have one?
How long is your one?
Which one is your preferred one?
What you are thinking of?
go down......
>.
>.
>.
> ?
> ?
> ?
> ?
> ?
> ?
> ?
Answer : its your Surname, what else? !!!!!

Just for Laughes

Once during the gulf war, the President of USA, and the Prime Ministers of UK and Singapore were travelling on a warship that was cruising near S.Arabia.

The 3 were talking about how brave their soldiers were; their discussion soon turned into an argument where each wanted to prove the bravery oftheir own soldiers.
The Pres. of USA said, "let me show u what is guts", where upon he called his Colonel and said "Jump into the sea and swim 3 rounds around this ship!". The Colonel replied "Anything for Uncle Sam, Sir", jumped in to the shark infested sea and swam 3 rounds around the ship, with the sharks chasing him like mad! After the successful 3 rounds, the Colonel came up to the deck and said, "I did it for Uncle Sam Mr. President!". The proud US President replied "That's what I call guts!".

The Prime Minister of UK was pissed. He had to show. He called his 3-star General and said "General, jump into the sea and swim 10 rounds around This ship!". The General replied "Anything for the Queen, Sir", jumped in to the shark infested sea and swam 10 rounds around the ship, with the sharks chasing him like gila!(lunatic). After the successful 10 rounds the 3-star General came up to the deck and said, "Long Live the Queen!".The proud UK PM replied "That's what I call guts!"

The Prime Minister of Singapore cannot tahan. He had to show that his soldiers have it too. He called one of his Private, Ah Beng and said"Soldier, jump into the sea and swim 50 rounds around this ship!".The Private replied "Oi, you siao(crazy) izzit? I juz bought my condo and I Am paying through my nose. Now, U want me to jump and die? If u want toHao lian (show off), you jump into the sea yourself ! ()&*( #@%.The Singapore PM grinned and said "Now,that's what I call guts!".

Just for Laughes

A drunkard jobless Indian stumbled onto a lamp. He rubbed on it and amagical genie Singh with a turban appearedand said "I grant you two wishes, Macha.."

The Indian thought for a while and said "OK, I want to be rich like aChinaman! Poof! When the smoke disappeared, the Indian was smartly dressed, hairjelled and combed back like Chow Yuen Fatt complete with handphone in hand.As he walked towards his brand new shiny Mercedes, he noticed his ownreflection.

Not only was he smartly dressed, he was also much fairer in complexion.The shocked Indian angrily summoned the genie and complained "Are youdeaf or what? I said I wanted to be rich like a Chinaman, not become aChinaman!"

I don't want to be a Chinaman because they cheat, lie and con their way tobecome rich..."
The genie reminded him that he's entitled to one more wish "What do youwant then, Muthu?"To which Muthu quickly replied "I just want to be rich and I don't want towork!"

Poof! He was transformed into a Bumiputra...

Ah neh Meets Chee nah

Just for Laughes

What's the first thing that come to your mind when you see a Chinese mandriving a BMW?
A pimp.

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see a Malay mandriving a BMW?
Ahmad.

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see an Indian mandriving a BMW?
A car jockey.

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see a Bhai drivinga BMW?
A car repossessor.

Just for Laughes

Little Manu asks his mother how old she is. Her reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." Manu then asks his mother how much she weighs. Again the mother's reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." The boy then asks, "Why did daddy leave you?" To this, the mother says, "you shouldn't ask that" and then sends him to his room.

On the way to his room, the boy trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out. The boy looks it over and goes back to his mother saying, "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!!!"

Ha Ha

What do you get when you put 100 Chinamen under a printing press? The Yellow Pages

What do you get when you put 100 Indians under a printing press? Ayear's supply of carbon paper.