Just for laughes

When we see a Malay man driving a Mercedes, we would assume that he is a politician, if it is a Chinese driving a Mercedes, he would probably be a business man. But if we see an Indian driving a Mercedes, there’s no doubt that he’s a driver or a car thief.

If you walk into a grocery shop that is on sale and all the items are gone, you can be rest assured that the last customer was an Indian.

Just for laughes

There were two Ah Neh who once lived next door to each other, one a Indian and one a Pakistani. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."

The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"

Just for laughes

Ah Singh had been a sick man and was in the hospital, near death. The family called in Banta Singh, his best friend to stand with him.

As Banta stood next to the bed, Ah Singh's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ah Singh used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then suddenly died.

Banta thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket. At the funeral he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ah Singh had died. He said, 'You know, Ah Singh handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing him, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all.'

He opened the note, and read, 'Please step to your left - you're standing on my oxygen tube!'

Just for laughes

Each morning the Ah Neh Boss was enraged that the tea cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the tea delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the man's yelling and insults produced a full cup of tea, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk's pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less tea.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of tea that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The man couldn't resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

'Oh, there's not much to it,' admitted the clerk happily, 'I take some of the masala tea in my mouth right outside the kitchen, and spit it back in when I get outside your office!'

Just for laughes

The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper.

'How much does it cost to have an obituary printed'? asked miser Ah Neh.

'It's 50 Rupees a word, sir,' the clerk replied politely.

'Fine,' said Ah Neh after a moment. 'Okay then, write this down: 'Banta - dead'.'

'That's all?' asked the clerk disbelievingly.

'That's it.'

'I'm sorry sir, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum.'

'Yes, you should've,' snapped the Ah Neh. Now let me think a minute... okay, here goes: Banta dead. Maruti for Sale.'