Just for Laughes

Ah Neh and his two friends are talking in a bar.

His first friend says,"I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day, I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they definitely weren't mine."

His second friend says, " I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day, I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Ah Neh says,"I think my wife is having an affair with a horse."

Both his friends stop drinking and look at him with utter disblief.

"No, I'm serious. The other day, I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

Just for Laughes

Once a sardar doctor calls his sardar patient on the phone and says 'Hi, main bol raha hoon!'

The other sardarji replies 'Kamaal hain, ithe vi main bol raha hoon!'

Doctor to Sardar: 'Aapka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai!'

Sardar: 'Hoga, zaroor hoga! 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!'

Just For Laughes

Just For laughes

A mama decides to ask Goh for help.

"Dear Lord," he prays, "if I don't get some cash, i'm going to lose everything. Please let me win the Lottery."

Lottery night comes but the mama doesn't win!

He prays even harder, saying, "GOD, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please let me win this one."

Suddenly, there is a blinding light and the mama hears God speaks.

"Ah neh, work with me on this," HE said. "Buy a Ticket."

Just for Laughes

A guy was walking down Arab street when he sees a woman with
perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey, miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?"
"Are you nuts?" she replies, and starts to walk away. He says,
"You wouldn't let me do it for even $1,000?" "Listen, sir, I'm not
that kind of woman. Got it?"
He says, "How about $10,000?" The woman thinks about this for
awhile and says, "You'll pay me $10,000 to bite my breasts?" He nods.
She reluctantly says, "Let's go to that dark alley over there."
They go to the alley and she takes off her blouse. The guy begins caressing her breasts, kissing them, and fondling them.
Finally, the woman gets all annoyed and says, "Are you going to
bite them, or what?"

"Nah," he replies. "Too expensive!"

Just for Laughes

Ahmad , Muthu and Ali

Ahmad died in a fire and his body was so
badly burnt that the morgue needed
someone to identify the body. They called
up his two best friends, Ali and Muthu.

Ali went in first and the mortician
pulled back the sheet. Ali said,"Wah,
he's very barbecued like 'char siu'. Please
roll him over, and I will tell you whether
if he's my friend Ahmad or not."

The mortician rolled the body over and Ali
looked at his ass and immediately
said, "No-lah, that isn't Ahmad."
The mortician was puzzled but didn't say anything.

He then went and got Muthu to inspect the body.
Muthu looked closely and said,"Yes, it is
true he's burnt very badly, but roll him
over and I'll see if he's my friend Ahmad."

Again the mortician rolled the body over and
Muthu looked down at the ass and said, "Oh
thank goodness, this is not Ahmad!!"

The mortician was extremely puzzled, and
unable to stand it any longer, he asked,
"Okay, you have to tell me now - how can
you and Ali tell whether it is Ahmad
just by looking at the ass?"

Muthu replied, "It's simple really. Well
you see, Ahmad had two assholes!"
"What?!!" the mortician said with disbelief,
"He had two assholes?!!"
"Oh yes! Everyone in Penang Road knows
this because everytime the three of us
go out, people always say, "Here comes
Ahmad with the two assholes."

just for laughes

Sardarji drives his wife to the airport as she has to attend a 2-week,company training session in England. At the airport he gives her a hug and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for
you
ji ?

Sardarji laughs and says: An English girl!!!

The shy wife blushes and keeps quiet and leaves for England.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks:

So, honey, how was the trip?

Very good, thank you ji.

And, what happened to my present?

Which present?

The one I asked for: the English girl?!

Oh, that! the shy wife blushes and keeps quiet and finally mutters :

"Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait 9 months to see if its a girl !!!"

Just For Laughes

Ah Neh Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam

Time Limit: 3 Weeks

1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu ?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army or (d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope? (a) Jewish (b) Catholic (c) Hindu (d) Polish (e) Agnostic (check only one)

5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are people in India's far north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (c) Northerners

9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton

10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar , the last one being Akbar the Sixth. Name the previous five.

11. Where does rain come from? (a) Macy's (b) a 7-11 (c) Canada (d) the sky

12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity? (a) yes (b) no

13. What are coat hangers used for?

14. The "Jana Gana Mana " is the National Anthem for what country?

15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.

16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?

17. Which part of India produces the most oranges? (a) Gujarat (b) Russia (c) Canada (d) Pakistan

18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have?

19. What does AIR (All India Radio) stand for?

20. The University of Chandigarh tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)? (a) B.C. (b) A.D. (c) still waiting

*You must answer at least three questions correctly to qualify*

Just for Laughes

A Sardarni competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition.
The French woman came in first, the English woman second.
The Sardarni finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms."