One day an evil witch took over the forest, ''One-by-one, all of you useless animals have to come up here and tell a joke. If everybody laughs, you will be spared or else I'll cut off your head!''
The monkey went up first and told such a funny joke that all the animals laughed except fot a tortoise.. so the witch cut off his head.
Next, a giraffe went up and she, in turn told a joke that set all the animals off laughing... but still, the tortoise did not laugh... so the witch cut off her head.
Then, the rabbit went up... but before she could say a word, the tortoise
started laughing...
''Why are you laughing you stupid tortoise?'' the witch asked.
"The monkey's joke was very funny...'' was the reply.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Just For Laughes
A judge was interviewing an Indian lady regarding her pending divorce, and
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of
the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really
needed
one."
"Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I
do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a
divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a
divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of
the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really
needed
one."
"Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I
do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a
divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a
divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Prataman working
Prataman assured Singaporeans yesterday that detainees under the Internal Security Act (ISA) are protected by the law.
Asked by a leporter about the detention of polytechnic lecturer Abul Basher Abdul Kader - a 'self-radicalised' individual influenced by extremist propaganda on the Internet - Mr Prataman said that even in detention, 'there is a due process, there is a legislation'.
'The legislation provides what has to be done before you can detain a person and the recourse the person has against it. It's all there,' he said after touring the Harmony Centre. 'It's not something arbitrary.'
If the ISA Advisory Board recommends the release of a detainee, he cannot be further detained unless the President concurs. Under the Constitution, the President's concurrence is given in his discretion and not on the Cabinet's advice.
Since the Government announced the detention of 28-year-old Abdul Basher two weeks ago, concerns have been raised on the Internet about how he had been detained even though he had not yet committed any physical crime.
At the time of his arrest in February, he had made plans to pursue 'militant jihad' in Afghanistan by fighting beside the Taleban.
Mr Pratamen pointed out that crime, as understood traditionally, is different today.
He said: 'Terrorism is a kind of crime. To prove it is not easy.' He compared the threat of terror to the problems posed by secret societies in the past, where 'somebody will bash up somebody and you have no witnesses'.
'So when you're talking about due process, how do you bring these people out? How do you prove it? It's not something that is so simple.'
What is important, he said, is for countries in the region, such as Singapore and Malaysia, to understand the nature of terrorism and its impact on society.
Mr Prataman said the efforts of the Harmony Centre - set up in Bishan in October last year to promote a better understanding of Islam and promote inter-faith dialogue - help dispel the ignorant notion some people have that 'Islam is made up of terrorists'.
Profound man!
Asked by a leporter about the detention of polytechnic lecturer Abul Basher Abdul Kader - a 'self-radicalised' individual influenced by extremist propaganda on the Internet - Mr Prataman said that even in detention, 'there is a due process, there is a legislation'.
'The legislation provides what has to be done before you can detain a person and the recourse the person has against it. It's all there,' he said after touring the Harmony Centre. 'It's not something arbitrary.'
If the ISA Advisory Board recommends the release of a detainee, he cannot be further detained unless the President concurs. Under the Constitution, the President's concurrence is given in his discretion and not on the Cabinet's advice.
Since the Government announced the detention of 28-year-old Abdul Basher two weeks ago, concerns have been raised on the Internet about how he had been detained even though he had not yet committed any physical crime.
At the time of his arrest in February, he had made plans to pursue 'militant jihad' in Afghanistan by fighting beside the Taleban.
Mr Pratamen pointed out that crime, as understood traditionally, is different today.
He said: 'Terrorism is a kind of crime. To prove it is not easy.' He compared the threat of terror to the problems posed by secret societies in the past, where 'somebody will bash up somebody and you have no witnesses'.
'So when you're talking about due process, how do you bring these people out? How do you prove it? It's not something that is so simple.'
What is important, he said, is for countries in the region, such as Singapore and Malaysia, to understand the nature of terrorism and its impact on society.
Mr Prataman said the efforts of the Harmony Centre - set up in Bishan in October last year to promote a better understanding of Islam and promote inter-faith dialogue - help dispel the ignorant notion some people have that 'Islam is made up of terrorists'.
Profound man!
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Volunteer Urself
Specifically addressing young people, the Prataman urges everyone to “keep up the spirit of giving and volunteering”.
He said, "We are city dwellers living in comfort and it is very easy to forget that people affected by disasters are sometimes in a hopeless state."
"So I think it's good to encourage our young to help... there would be many areas where young people can go to sacrifice their time and effort and take part in projects."
Let us rally the public towards helping those in need of assistance and build a “more cohesive society”.
Who help me?
He said, "We are city dwellers living in comfort and it is very easy to forget that people affected by disasters are sometimes in a hopeless state."
"So I think it's good to encourage our young to help... there would be many areas where young people can go to sacrifice their time and effort and take part in projects."
Let us rally the public towards helping those in need of assistance and build a “more cohesive society”.
Who help me?
Saturday, June 02, 2007
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