A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10
husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please
be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married
ten times.?"
"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it
was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with
me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked
out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the
order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he
wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art
method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he
wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never
sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; ! all he ever did was........ God
I miss him.
" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"Your're with the GOVERNMENT"..
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED"
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
And the moral of the story is.....................
By trade minister Rafidah Aziz (Malaysia)
With a reputation for her strong stamina despite arduous and hectic
schedules, it was not surprising that someone had to ask the Minister
of International Trade and Industry, Datuk Seri Rafidah Aziz, where her
source of almost boundless energy came from.
"In my job, you have to be cheerful because it's about wanting people
to invest. Can you imagine if I come to Kobe with a sour face and no
smile?
You will not want to come to Malaysia," she said when asked by a Japanese
businessman to reveal the secret of her staying power at a seminar on
Business Opportunities in Malaysia here today.
"You're great. You're so dynamic and cheerful. We don't see such a
character in our Japanese ministers," said the businessman who was obviously an
admirer of Rafidah's dynamic personality.
In reply, Rafidah said she was a naturally cheerful person. "I am not
making it up (in being cheerful). I laugh a lot and so it's easy for me to be
cheerful. It's not like I'm pretending to be cheerful. My nature is
like that," she said in a matter-of-fact and yet lighthearted manner.
The minister said her energy also came from the fact that she liked her
job."I've been in this job (her present position) for 16 years and I
have been in the government for 27 years," she said, acknowledging that she
was no longer young as she would be 60 years old this year and already has
three grandchildren.
"It makes me happy. You must always do what that makes you happy. If
you're not happy, you don't do it. That's very simple... If you don't like the
thing but you have to do it (anyway), you'll get the sour face," she
said.
Rafidah said she usually did not bring her work home with her. But if
she really has some work to finish up, she would wake up at 5.00 am to
complete it. "If I go home late, my driver will have to wait for me, my security
guard will have to wait for me and my other staff also has to wait for
me.
And they will curse me because they want to go home (early)," she said.
Rafidah said if she did not leave for home by 5.30 pm, there was a
likelihood that there would be five or six people who could be angry
with her. "Angry people are not productive," she said, admitting that she
was also not productive in her work after 5.30pm.
"After 5.30 pm, I'm not productive. So five unhappy staff and one
unhappy minister is not good (at all)," she said.
Rafidah felt that working very late in office was a waste of time."You
would be better off at home, (or) go out for dinner or play golf. So (at
least) you're happy and the next morning you're fresh," she said.
"If you go home late at 11.00 pm or midnight and you don't look at your
family and tomorrow you go into the train to go to office, in the end
you're not happy and your family is not happy," she said.
"The world will go on even if you go home at 5.30. The world will not
stop if you go home at 5.30 pm. "Why must you go home at 11.00 pm? What's
the point and how much work can you do between 5.30pm and 11.00pm?"
"Enjoy yourselves and be happy. I find that I work more when I'm
happy," she said.
NO OT!
With a reputation for her strong stamina despite arduous and hectic
schedules, it was not surprising that someone had to ask the Minister
of International Trade and Industry, Datuk Seri Rafidah Aziz, where her
source of almost boundless energy came from.
"In my job, you have to be cheerful because it's about wanting people
to invest. Can you imagine if I come to Kobe with a sour face and no
smile?
You will not want to come to Malaysia," she said when asked by a Japanese
businessman to reveal the secret of her staying power at a seminar on
Business Opportunities in Malaysia here today.
"You're great. You're so dynamic and cheerful. We don't see such a
character in our Japanese ministers," said the businessman who was obviously an
admirer of Rafidah's dynamic personality.
In reply, Rafidah said she was a naturally cheerful person. "I am not
making it up (in being cheerful). I laugh a lot and so it's easy for me to be
cheerful. It's not like I'm pretending to be cheerful. My nature is
like that," she said in a matter-of-fact and yet lighthearted manner.
The minister said her energy also came from the fact that she liked her
job."I've been in this job (her present position) for 16 years and I
have been in the government for 27 years," she said, acknowledging that she
was no longer young as she would be 60 years old this year and already has
three grandchildren.
"It makes me happy. You must always do what that makes you happy. If
you're not happy, you don't do it. That's very simple... If you don't like the
thing but you have to do it (anyway), you'll get the sour face," she
said.
Rafidah said she usually did not bring her work home with her. But if
she really has some work to finish up, she would wake up at 5.00 am to
complete it. "If I go home late, my driver will have to wait for me, my security
guard will have to wait for me and my other staff also has to wait for
me.
And they will curse me because they want to go home (early)," she said.
Rafidah said if she did not leave for home by 5.30 pm, there was a
likelihood that there would be five or six people who could be angry
with her. "Angry people are not productive," she said, admitting that she
was also not productive in her work after 5.30pm.
"After 5.30 pm, I'm not productive. So five unhappy staff and one
unhappy minister is not good (at all)," she said.
Rafidah felt that working very late in office was a waste of time."You
would be better off at home, (or) go out for dinner or play golf. So (at
least) you're happy and the next morning you're fresh," she said.
"If you go home late at 11.00 pm or midnight and you don't look at your
family and tomorrow you go into the train to go to office, in the end
you're not happy and your family is not happy," she said.
"The world will go on even if you go home at 5.30. The world will not
stop if you go home at 5.30 pm. "Why must you go home at 11.00 pm? What's
the point and how much work can you do between 5.30pm and 11.00pm?"
"Enjoy yourselves and be happy. I find that I work more when I'm
happy," she said.
NO OT!
Friday, September 14, 2007
PrataMan Found New Task
President Nathan to perform at President's Star Charity 2007
SINGAPORE : The President's Star Charity will be back on September 30.
President S R Nathan will be performing for the first time in this annual charity event.
Julie Sim-Chew, Executive Producer, President's Star Charity 2007, said: "The highlight for this President Star Charity is of course having President Nathan take centrestage.
"He will be reciting this poem called 'The Desiderata' by Max Ehrmann. It's an inspirational poem where it tells man how to live. When we proposed the idea to him, he was very forthcoming and he has personally selected certain portions of the poem (which) he feels that he is comfortable to deliver."
In another first, Channel NewsAsia presenter Glenda Chong will be the show's host.
She said: "When I present the news, I usually reach my audience through the camera lens. This time round, I will be hosting the PSC and I will actually see them staring back at me.
"I believe it will be a little bit nerve-wrecking, but I have veteran Gurmit, and I have the very glib-talking Desmond. I know I'm in good hands. So I guess I might be a little bit nervous, but ultimately when the show starts, it should not be a problem."
Other stars like Kym Ng, Michelle Chong, Jade Seah and Taufik Batisah will also be performing.
The President's Star Charity 2007 will be shown 'live' on MediaCorp TV's Channel 5 on September 30 from 7.30pm to 10pm.
Proceeds from the show will go to 32 charities.
Last year, the charity event raised more than S$4 million.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Indian Movie must have...
Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine - see rule 2 below).
If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
Any court scene will have the dialogue “Objection milord”. If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.
The hero’s sister will usually marry the hero’s best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).
Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by
a) the brothers
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax)
c) the family dog/cat.
Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero’s father - killedby the villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying “Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte”, only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector’s daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain’s sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.
If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
Any court scene will have the dialogue “Objection milord”. If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.
The hero’s sister will usually marry the hero’s best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).
Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by
a) the brothers
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax)
c) the family dog/cat.
Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero’s father - killedby the villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying “Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte”, only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector’s daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain’s sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.
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