Condom Taboo in Malaysia

The Malaysian government cannot openly advocate condom use to fight AIDS in this Muslim-majority country, and so must rely on voluntary groups to promote the method, an official said Monday.
The government "strongly believes" in the use of condoms to prevent the spread of the HIV virus, said Jalal Halil Khalil, the deputy director of the Health Ministry's AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases unit.

"But some people may misinterpret us to be promoting promiscuity. So we cannot be too open ... we have to take into account religious sensitivities," he told The Associated Press.
He said parades and other mass campaigns to highlight condom use or discuss sex, as seen in neighboring Thailand, remained taboo here.

Earlier this year, the health ministry had warned the number of HIV infections in Malaysia could surge by more than fourfold to 300,000 by 2015 as the virus spread rapidly from high-risk groups, such as drug addicts, to the general public.

On Sunday, the International AIDS Memorial Day, Jalal called on non-governmental organizations, such as the Malaysian AIDS Council, to take on the task of promoting condom use.
Malaysian AIDS Council president Adeeba Kamarulzaman told the AP although the group had been able to carry out education and awareness drives, it had been impossible so far to put on a big generalized campaign, using the mass media for example.

Management Screws

Ah Neh wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else.
So one day, Ah Neh got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.

Ah Neh said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called herboyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won' t even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.She responded, "The bastard used coins!"

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

Just for Laughes

A peasant was overseeing his herd of animals in the last family farm in Singapore when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the peasant, "If I tell you exactly how many sows and piglets you have in your herd, Will you give me a piglet?"

The peasant looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his HP notebook computer, connects it to his RAZRV3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls upa GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution on photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, hereceives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed andthe data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the peasant and says,"You have exactly 986 pigs and piglets." "That's right. Well, I guess youcan take one of my piglets," says the peasant. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the peasant says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my piglet?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

You're a MP for the PAP", says the peasant.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the peasant "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarterthan me you are; and you don't know a thing about pigs...this is a herd of goats.

Now give me back my dog.

Heaven and Hell

A Malaysian dies and goes to hell.There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.He goes first to the German hell and asks: "What do they do here?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of theday."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves onHe checks out the American hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Malaysian hell and finds that there is a verylong line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.

Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Malaysian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.

But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?

Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goesto the canteen for teh-tarik..&...chit chat

Malaysia FTA with USA

Have you seen the Made-in-Malaysia car "Kancil"? You know, that very little 600cc car??? Well, Dr M really wanted to sell it to the US, so when Dr M paid a visit to the White House after finishing formal discussions with George Bush, Dr M checks with Bush to find out if there is a way to sell the Kancil in the USA .

After having looked at the brochure, Bush said, "You know, I think this 'KERNCHILL' is too small for us Americans." Not one who gives up easily, Dr M persisted and finally Bush offered, "Ok, take this number down. This guy is my good buddy and he's also the CEO of the biggest compact car distributor in North America ."

Dr M was satisfied with the meeting and returns to Malaysia . The next day
he called the number and a lady answered *,"TOYS R US , can I help you?"*

Malaysian's Choice

There are three major races in Malaysia - Malay, Chinese and Indian.
The Malays have the political power and so they set up the party UMNO, which literally means "U Must Not Object".

The Chinese, on the other hand, controls most of the economy and they called their party MCA which means "Money Conquers All".

Then there are the Indians who have no say in politics or economics. They set up their party called MIC. Hence, every Parliamentary meeting the Indians would ask : "Must I Come?"

Indian Man

Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated, an Indian study has found.
The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run centre, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 per cent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had penises about 2.4cm shorter than those condoms catered for.

For a further 30 per cent, the difference was at least 5cm. A poor fit meant the prophylactics often didn't do the job they were bought for, and led to some tearing or slipping off during use.
'One of the reasons for a failure of up to 20 per cent (of condoms) is the association of the size of the condom to the erect penis,' the council's Dr Chander Puri said, adding another reason was couples often put them on in a hurry.

He said many men in India, which has the world's highest HIV positive caseload, were too shy to ask for condoms.

'We need more vending machines for condoms of different sizes so people can pick a condom with confidence that is suited to their needs,' he said.

The Times of India reported the ICMR survey had studied 1,400 men between 18-50 years of age in cities like Mumbai and New Delhi as well as in rural areas in a report. It entitled its story 'Indian men don't measure up'.

After a quick check on the Internet, I have ascertained that it is hardly a problem unique to India. It seems to happen all over the world - men struggle with condoms that are either too big or too small. I guess the nature of the product is that it has to fit very well - there isn't much much margin for error.

Rich Ah Neh

Singapore's Top Ah Neh earns 3 millions and more! Way to go for a Prata Man!

Indian Complaint

An Indian COO can expect to earn a median salary of US$110,000, which translates into a pay-cheque of US$123,000 in Mumbai. If you’re a Chief Computer Programmer, expect an Indian average of US$24,000 – and of US$27,000 in Mumbai.

In cybermecca Bangalore, the same job will get US$21,000.
A skeptical Indian reader, Ram Potukuchi, wrote in to ask:

I read with interest your views on immigration—that it is not beneficial. As far as chain migration immigration and illegal immigration, you are probably correct. However, I would like to hear your views on these facts.

Immigrants (the majority from India) make up at least 28% of the engineers, scientists, computer programmers in this country. They also probably make up at least 5% of the doctors. Many of these doctors complete their residencies in hospitals American doctors would not train at (such as DC General Hospital in Washington D.C.). The doctors tend to practice in areas that American doctors would not want to practice in (i.e. black and Hispanic areas, rural areas).
While there may be a glut in physician supply, there is a shortage of doctors for poor people. Indian medical labor has been filling this gap for the past thirty years, a fact never mentioned on your website.

As for the other technical areas (engineering, computers, etc) the reality is that much of it is handled by Indians (or other immigrants). American students are weak in science and engineering, and America has to recruit to fill in the gaps. America has been recruiting these people for over thirty years. (My father was one of them, that’s why I’m living in the U.S.) Even today at companies like The Boeing Company, it is very difficult to recruit American-born
engineers in certain specialities (like microwave engineering, for example). The immigrants who get these jobs are not “cheap labor” as you suggest (starting salaries for an M.S. at $120,000 a year, much higher than the American family income). The immigrant engineers are not “displacing” Americans; there are few if any Americans to fill these jobs. I gave you one example (Boeing) but I could give you others (TRW, Lockheed, etc.). In Silicon Valley immigrants make up 40% of the “high-tech” workforce and these jobs pay a starting salary of $60,000 and the wages go up. They also are not “displacing” anybody, the American workforce as a whole cannot do this work. I doubt that many (or even any) of your “think-tank” writers has any idea what goes on in the computer, medical, or engineering fields. If you did you would have to explain away facts like these. If you don’t believe what I write, go to the aerospace companies or Silicon Valley or inner-city and rural health clinics and find out for yourself.

Also, it should be noted that if a company like Boeing is doing well, it “trickles down” to all the workers at Boeing (assemblers, technicians, managers, etc.) In that sense these immigrants help the economy, much more than your “ivory tower” sociological theories. America is the world leader in technology yet American students are, at best, mediocre in science and mathematics. Since the business and government leaders know this, they keep importing people. The people in charge really don’t pay attention to your theories—you write articles for each other, and
another generation of technical help comes into the U.S.

We asked Norm Matloff to reply:
The author here has trotted out several of the tried and true shibboleths concocted by the computer industry lobbyists. I’ll respond in brief here, and refer the reader to my updated congressional testimony, for details.
The author first points out that a substantial number of high-tech workers in this country are immigrants. True, but misleading, as his implication is that without those immigrants the jobs would be unfilled, which is not the case.
Actually, 30% of our nation’s small motels are owned by immigrants. Does the author really believe that without Indians we would not have motels?
The fact is that we are greatly underutilizing our own workers trained in the computers area. For example, 20 years after graduation from college, only 19% of computer science majors are still employed as programmers. This compares, for instance, to a figure of 57% of civil engineering majors who are still working as civil engineers 20 years after leaving school. Many were forced out of the field by the rampant age discrimination in this industry. It is they who
should be filling these jobs, not immigrants.
On the other end of the age scale, fewer than half of new graduates in computer science get programming jobs. The rest are shunted into semitechnical work like customer support, while the H-1Bs are hired for the programming.
I do believe that we should facilitate the immigration of “the best and the brightest” from around the world, but most of the foreign computer workers are not in that category at all. INS statistics show, for example, that 75% of the H-1B visa workers in the computer area make less than $55,000 per year, hardly “genius” pay for this profession, which can run to $100,000 and more.
The author mentions engineers at Boeing. Since I am a computer scientist and not an electrical engineer, I cannot comment in detail. But it is irrelevant, since the vast majority of high-tech H-1Bs are computer programmers, not engineers. For example, among H-1Bs, those with computer science degrees outnumber those with electrical engineering degrees by a ratio of 15-to-1.
That by the way is also the reason why the author’s claim that “Americans are weak in science and math” is irrelevant—one does not use science and math in programming.
For the record, his claim is also incorrect. American test scores in international comparisons in science and math are negatively impacted by our large underclass, which the East Asian nations do not have. U.S. states which do not have the dilemma of teaching a large underclass (a major component of which, by the way, is immigrants), such as Iowa, Nebraska and Utah, have test scores comparable to those of South Korea et al. The U.S. has double the per-
capita number of engineers that S. Korea does, and is second in the world in this regard, after Israel. Oddly, the author says a good a source of programmers and engineers is India—a country whose test scores would be abysmal if one included the nation’s 400 million illiterates. Come on, you can’t have it both ways.
I would also point out that Boeing is one of the worst examples the author could cite, as their expressed goal is to save on salary costs. A Boeing representative at an industry-sponsored “high-tech shortage” conference told me that Boeing does not even bother to recruit new graduates of California universities, as they are too expensive.
If the author does not believe the H-1Bs are paid less on average than comparable Americans, he should read the studies performed at UCLA and Cornell University which show the wage exploitation—with both studies being authored by prominent immigrant advocates. And one doesn’t even need studies, as the exploitation is clear from basic economic principles: Due to the de facto indentured servitude of most H-1Bs, they cannot get higher pay by changing
employers or by threatening to do so. Thus by definition, on average they cannot get as high a salary as they would if they were able to move freely about in the labor market.

Bob Farewell

The team are shocked and saddened to hear of the death of Bob Woolmer. He devoted his life to cricket, both as a
player and in particular as an innovative and respected coach. He will be sorely missed by the cricket community.
Our sincere and heartfelt condolences go to his wife, Gill and sons Dale and Russell.
Godspeed Bob, go in peace."May your pitch in the sky be evenpaced, the boundaries small and the sky always blue. - Anon"

Understanding the red dot

The holy dot or bindi (also known as kumkum, mangalya, tilak, sindhoor and by other names) is an auspicious makeup worn by young Hindu girls and women on their forehead.

The term is derived from bindu, the Sanskrit word for a dot or a point. It is usually a red dot made with vermilion (finely powdered bright red mercuric sulphide).

Considered a blessed symbol of Uma or Parvati, a bindi signifies female energy (shakti) and is believed to protect women and their husbands.

Traditionally a symbol of marriage (hence the widows did not wear vermilion), it has now become a decorative item and is worn today by unmarried girls and women of other religions as well.

No longer restricted in color or shape, bindis today are seen in many colors and designs and are manufactured with self-adhesives and felt.

Cricket is about Life and Death!

Wats so great about India's Cricket... Out in the first Round. One cannot lose its ball game, its about life and death. Murder they cried!

Just for Laughes

Why do Indian women have a red dot on their foreheads?

Because their husbands are always using their index finger to poke them between their eyes (right above their nose) and say "Can you please Stop shaking your head!"

Laughing Sessions

Indians are singularly humourless people who find it difficult to laugh unless it is prescribed by a doctor and administered as a dose good for our health. Go to any park in any city and you will see middle-aged men and women with long, sad faces looking as if they had just broken away form a funeral procession for a few minutes to rest their feet before rejoining it.

They line up on a lawn like soldiers on drill and await their leader’s command to begin their exercise. He raises one arm; they fall silent. He brings it down with a jerk, they start laughing – hee, hee, hee – haw, haw, haw – and bray like donkeys for full fifteen minutes. Their leader raises his hand again. They fall silent. Put back their long, sad faces, break lines and rejoin the funeral procession.

Just for Laughes

A man appeared at the box office of a cinema and bought two tickets. A few minutes later he returned and bought two more.
When, after a short interval, he appeared a third time and offered to pay for two more, the ticket-seller opened the little door in the glass and spoke up. 'Aren't you the same gentleman who just bought two tickets and two others just a while ago?' she asked, puzzled.

'Yes,' replied Banta Singh plaintively, 'but there's some fool at the gate who keeps tearing them up!'

Indian Engineers

Two with a price of ONE. & its cheaper...

When tenders were floated for the channel tunnel to connect England & France, many international building companies vied with one another to get the contract. The stakes were very high;

the job of digging building expertise. Tenders were opened by the Board of Directors of the Anglo-French corporation which had taken on the project. British builders' estimates were over 200 million dollar, each;

French & German builders were marginally lower. There was one from India: Singh & Singh Builders whose estimate was only 5 million dollars. The Board was for ignoring the Indian tender but out of curiosity invited Singh & Singh over to discuss the plans.

Banta Singh & Santa Singh of Singh & Singh Builders appeared before the Board.
The Chairman asked them "Have you any experience of undertaking this kind of work?" "Indeed we have," replied the two Singhs, "we bored a lot of tubewells in the Punjab & Haryana. We can bore holes anywhere.""This is not as simple.
How will you connect the tunnel from the English side to the French?" "Simple," replied Santa Singh, "Banta Singh will dig from the French end & I from the English." The Chairman was flabbergasted. "You don't realise that it will need a lot of accurate calculation to get the two tunnels to meet at the same point under the channel.
Other companies' estimates are over 200 million dollars each & you think you can do the same job for 5 million dollars.
How will that be possible?"
"What is bothering you?" demanded Singh & Singh, "if our two tunnels don't meet, instead of one we will give you two tunnels.

Past and Present ?

Just for Laughes

What is a Bhai standoff?
Two Bhais bathing together, and one drops the soap!

What do you call the Singh who can swim underwater?
GS Gills

Did ya hear about the Bhai who was sent to jailfor beating up his wife?
The judge said he was rotten to the core (kaur)!

What do you call a Bhai playboy centerfold?
Boh Cheng Kaur (Hokkien - "Not Wearing Pants")

What do you call a horny Bhai?
Gian Singh

Why is the KLIA a favourite for Singhs?
Because they have special immigration lanes for "ORANG AH SINGH"

What do you call the new KLIA taxis?
Limosinghs

What did the Singh say in his traffic accident report?
Dia belakang mari!

In the wild west, what did the Apache say to the Singh?
Umm...you make good scalp, already pre-wrapped!

What do you call a Bhai girl who likes hot choclate?
Co Kaur (Cocoa)

What do you call a Bhai girl who's an interior decorator?
De Kaur (Decor)

What do you call a Bhai girl who's a gangster?
Tai Kaur

What is the official mode of transportation for Bhais?
Bhaicycle (bicycle)

Why are Bhai jokes so stupid?
So that the Chinese, Melayu and Tamil buggers can understand them!(from Taranjit Singh)

Why Tarzan is so COOL and LOUD

Just for Laughes

Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box.
Curious, he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box, kid?"

The little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."

Al Gore laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"
"Democrats," the child says. "Oh, that's cute," Al Gore says and he runs off.

A couple of days later, Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead.
Al says to Bill, "You gotta check this out," and they both jog over to the boy with the box. Al says, "Look in the box Bill, isn't that cute?
Look at those little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Bill what kind of kittens they are." The boy replies, "They're Republicans."

"Whoa!" Al says, "I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats.
What's up?" "Well," the kid says, "Their eyes are open now."