Paki Problem

Pakistani on the moon:

Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon? A: Problem...

Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon? A: Problem...

Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon? A: Problem...

Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon? A: ....... Problem Solved!!!

Malaysian INDIANS PROTEST

Thousands of Malaysian Indians protest to highlight plight

For the second time this month, Malaysian riot police fired tear gas and water canons to disperse thousands of protesters who took part in an illegal street rally in the capital on Sunday.

The rally, organised by the Hindu Rights Action Force to highlight their complaints of discrimination by the ruling government, ended with hundreds arrested.

In a rare protest by the one of the country's ethnic minorities, thousands of Malaysian Indians took to the streets of downtown Kuala Lumpur to demand equal rights.

Police had set up roadblocks across the city and obtained a court restraint order in an attempt to foil the rally.

Just the night before, more than 3,000 ethnic Indians from across the country gathered at a Hindu temple at Batu Caves outside the capital.

Many were arrested when they clashed with the police who fired tear gas in a bid to stop them from joining the rally.

At the protest outside the Petronas Twin Towers, police fired hundreds of rounds of tear gas and used water canons with chemical-laced water to disperse the crowd.

But the protesters, who did not have a permit for the rally, still tried to force their way through the police barricades to submit their petition to the British High Commission.

Many picked up the tear gas canisters and threw them back at the police.

M Kulasegaran, lawyer for Hindu Rights Action Force, said: "The time has come for a change and as you can see, thousands of people are not afraid of anybody."

One of the protesters cried: "Because we ask what are the Indian rights? I want to think about the next generation; I want to think about my son."

The protest was organised to highlight the economic woes of the minority ethnic Indians who represent 8 percent of the country's population.

The group Hindraf recently filed a multi-trillion-dollar class action against the British government whom they hold responsible for their decades of discrimination.

The mainstream political parties, meanwhile, have disassociated themselves from the rally, saying that the illegal gathering is an opposition ploy to smear the government's image ahead of the country's general elections.

Just two weeks ago, tens of thousands of Malaysians took to the streets to protest for a free and fair election.

The Malaysian government has warned that it will not hesitate to invoke the country's strict security laws that allow detentions without trial on those involved, simply because while Malaysia practises democracy, taking to the streets is simply not the Malaysian way of life.

The dark force is strong there!

My Ah Neh Friend

FORMER senior Cabinet minister S. Dhanabalan was presented with the nation's highest honour last night for his contributions to the country.

The Temasek Holdings chairman received the Order of Temasek (Second Class) from President S R Nathan at the Suntec City Ballroom.

Mr Dhanabalan, a long-time civil servant, politician and corporate leader, played a significant role in Singapore's development.

He was part of the team that started the Economic Development Board in 1961 to attract investments to Singapore and to create jobs.

From 1968 to 1978, he helped establish the Development Bank of Singapore - now DBS Bank - and played a pivotal role in its transformation into a full service international bank.

He entered politics in 1976, and from 1978 to 1994, held the Foreign Affairs, Culture, Community Development, National Development, and Trade and Industry portfolios.

Previous recipients of the Order of Temasek (First Class) include former president Wee Kim Wee, former chief justice Yong Pung How, and former ministers Lim Kim San, Hon Sui Sen, Goh Keng Swee and S. Rajaratnam.

The next three highest honours this year went to recipients of the Distinguished Service Order.

They are: Lee Foundation chairman Lee Seng Gee; Keppel Corporation executive chairman Lim Chee Onn and Neptune Orient Lines chairman Cheng Wai Keung.

Seven others received the Meritorious Service Medal. They included National Kidney Foundation chairman Gerard Ee; head of the Civil Service Peter Ho; and Lieutenant-General (NS) Ng Yat Chung, the former Chief of Defence Force.

They were among about 350 recipients of the National Day Awards who were honoured last night.

CPA U KNOW?

Council of Presidential Advisers...

They are Mr Po'ad Bin Shaik Abu Bakar Mattar, Mr S Dhanabalan, Dr Cheong Siew Keong, Mr J Y Pillay, Mr Yong Pung How and Prof Cham Tao Soon.

Old but powerful people.

Prataman's Scholars

This year, the President’s Scholarship is conferred on 4 outstanding young persons. They are Miss Kaan Hung Leng, Miss Stephanie Ko Qianwen, Miss Liu Chen and Mr Sergius Wat Zhiwen. Both Miss Kaan and Miss Ko will be studying medicine. Miss Kaan will be pursuing Medicine at NUS while Miss Ko will be reading Medicine at Cambridge University. Miss Liu will be studying Economics at the University of Chicago. Mr Wat, who is a concurrent Singapore Police Force Overseas Scholarship holder, will be studying Government at Harvard University. As recipients of the most prestigious scholarship in Singapore, Miss Kaan, Miss Ko, Miss Liu and Mr Wat are joining a select group of young men and women with infinite possibilities ahead of them.

Remember the Names, YOU will be seeing them as Top leaders of Singapore!

Just For Laughes

A lady arrived at the Madras airport after spending 36 hours in transit.

She was fully exhausted after such a long trip with her 6 young kids.

Collecting many suitcases, the family entered the cramped customs area.

A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"

"Yes, sir," the lady said with a sigh. "They're all mine."

The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"

"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."

Just for Laughes

Pak dictator Zia is speeding through Germany with his chauffeur at the wheel on his way to an important address.

Driving down a country road, the chauffeur (who is distracted, looking out the window at the countryside) doesn't see a pig walk out onto the road, and he hits it.

Stopping the car, he jumps out, and Zia climbs out also to see what is going on.
The chauffeur, very distressed by what he's done asks Zia what they should do, and Zia tells him impatiently that they're in a hurry and they should move the pig to the side of the road and go to the address and worry about it later.

All the way to the address the chauffeur, who is a fairly good-hearted person despite his employer, is worried about the family who owned the pig and wondered how they'd react to discovering the pig, so when they arrived he asked Zia whether he shouldn't drive back to the farm and let them know what happened.

Zia agrees before hurrying to the podium, and the Chauffeur hurries back down the road.

Four hours later, he was stumbling down the road, his arms full of gifts.

Zia in a rage demands to know what has happened to him, and the chauffeur explains,
"I did what I thought was right.

I went to the farm where I killed the pig.

When I went and knocked on the door and gave them the news, they gave me these gifts, fed me the best food I've ever tasted and then sent me on my way."

Zia seemed confused by this and asks his chauffeur, "well what exactly did you tell them"

To which the chauffeur replied "I really can't understand it either, all I did was tell them "I'm Zia's Chauffeur, and I killed the pig."

Just for Laughes

Mani Mukherjee had a little too much to drink one day. He was driving home from the bar one night and, of course, his car was weaving violently all over the road.

A hawaldar pulls him over and asked, "kahan se aa rahe ho?"
"Iiiizzzzze! daru khane se! izzzeezzzeh!" slurs Mani.

"Lagta hai ke aapne bahot pee rakhi hai"

"Hehheha. Lekin mai thik hu!" Mani says in his usual style.

"Lekin aapko pata hai," says the hawaldar, "kuchh der pahle pahle aapki biwi car se gir gayi?

"Iiizzzzzezzzeeh! Tab to sab thik hai" sighs Mani, "thodi der ke liye to apne ko laga...izzzezze...ke apun behra ho gaya hun....hehhehe".

Prataman gathered the most donations

The President’s Star Charity Show raised more than S$5.4 million on Sunday.

President S R Nathan took centre stage for the first time, reciting a poem called The Desiderata by Max Ehrmann.

Plastic surgeon Dr Woffles Wu tripped the light fantastic with Singapore Idol Hadi Mirza earlier in the show while St James’ Kindergarten students did back—up dancing for Project Superstar winner Darren Tan.

Dr Jannie Tay and friends showed the young at heart could also have fun raising money for the 32 charities including the Parkinson’s Disease Society and the Down Syndrome Association.

The Husbands

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10
husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please
be gentle; I'm still a virgin".

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married
ten times.?"

"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be.

"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it
was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with
me.

"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked
out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the
order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he
wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art
method.

"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he
wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never
sure how to position it.

"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; ! all he ever did was........ God
I miss him.

" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".

"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?

"Your're with the GOVERNMENT"..

This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED"

And the moral of the story is.....................

By trade minister Rafidah Aziz (Malaysia)

With a reputation for her strong stamina despite arduous and hectic
schedules, it was not surprising that someone had to ask the Minister
of International Trade and Industry, Datuk Seri Rafidah Aziz, where her
source of almost boundless energy came from.

"In my job, you have to be cheerful because it's about wanting people
to invest. Can you imagine if I come to Kobe with a sour face and no
smile?

You will not want to come to Malaysia," she said when asked by a Japanese
businessman to reveal the secret of her staying power at a seminar on
Business Opportunities in Malaysia here today.

"You're great. You're so dynamic and cheerful. We don't see such a
character in our Japanese ministers," said the businessman who was obviously an
admirer of Rafidah's dynamic personality.

In reply, Rafidah said she was a naturally cheerful person. "I am not
making it up (in being cheerful). I laugh a lot and so it's easy for me to be
cheerful. It's not like I'm pretending to be cheerful. My nature is
like that," she said in a matter-of-fact and yet lighthearted manner.

The minister said her energy also came from the fact that she liked her
job."I've been in this job (her present position) for 16 years and I
have been in the government for 27 years," she said, acknowledging that she
was no longer young as she would be 60 years old this year and already has
three grandchildren.

"It makes me happy. You must always do what that makes you happy. If
you're not happy, you don't do it. That's very simple... If you don't like the
thing but you have to do it (anyway), you'll get the sour face," she
said.

Rafidah said she usually did not bring her work home with her. But if
she really has some work to finish up, she would wake up at 5.00 am to
complete it. "If I go home late, my driver will have to wait for me, my security
guard will have to wait for me and my other staff also has to wait for
me.

And they will curse me because they want to go home (early)," she said.

Rafidah said if she did not leave for home by 5.30 pm, there was a
likelihood that there would be five or six people who could be angry
with her. "Angry people are not productive," she said, admitting that she
was also not productive in her work after 5.30pm.

"After 5.30 pm, I'm not productive. So five unhappy staff and one
unhappy minister is not good (at all)," she said.

Rafidah felt that working very late in office was a waste of time."You
would be better off at home, (or) go out for dinner or play golf. So (at
least) you're happy and the next morning you're fresh," she said.

"If you go home late at 11.00 pm or midnight and you don't look at your
family and tomorrow you go into the train to go to office, in the end
you're not happy and your family is not happy," she said.

"The world will go on even if you go home at 5.30. The world will not
stop if you go home at 5.30 pm. "Why must you go home at 11.00 pm? What's
the point and how much work can you do between 5.30pm and 11.00pm?"

"Enjoy yourselves and be happy. I find that I work more when I'm
happy," she said.

NO OT!

PrataMan Found New Task

President Nathan to perform at President's Star Charity 2007

SINGAPORE : The President's Star Charity will be back on September 30.

President S R Nathan will be performing for the first time in this annual charity event.

Julie Sim-Chew, Executive Producer, President's Star Charity 2007, said: "The highlight for this President Star Charity is of course having President Nathan take centrestage.

"He will be reciting this poem called 'The Desiderata' by Max Ehrmann. It's an inspirational poem where it tells man how to live. When we proposed the idea to him, he was very forthcoming and he has personally selected certain portions of the poem (which) he feels that he is comfortable to deliver."

In another first, Channel NewsAsia presenter Glenda Chong will be the show's host.

She said: "When I present the news, I usually reach my audience through the camera lens. This time round, I will be hosting the PSC and I will actually see them staring back at me.

"I believe it will be a little bit nerve-wrecking, but I have veteran Gurmit, and I have the very glib-talking Desmond. I know I'm in good hands. So I guess I might be a little bit nervous, but ultimately when the show starts, it should not be a problem."

Other stars like Kym Ng, Michelle Chong, Jade Seah and Taufik Batisah will also be performing.

The President's Star Charity 2007 will be shown 'live' on MediaCorp TV's Channel 5 on September 30 from 7.30pm to 10pm.

Proceeds from the show will go to 32 charities.

Last year, the charity event raised more than S$4 million.

Indian Movie must have...

Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine - see rule 2 below).

If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.

If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).

Any court scene will have the dialogue “Objection milord”. If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.
The hero’s sister will usually marry the hero’s best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.

In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.

When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).
Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by
a) the brothers
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax)
c) the family dog/cat.
Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero’s father - killedby the villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying “Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte”, only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector’s daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain’s sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.

Just for Laughes

“When did India get independence?” He was asked.”The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947″ He replied.”Who was responsible for our independence?”.”There were so many. Whom to mention?.If I name one it will be a injustice to another.”He replied.”Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?”.”Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report” He replied.

The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful
answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others,since they

were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally
others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but
one persistent Sardar would not leave him.

“At least tell me the answers” he pleaded, and our friend obliged. Then

it was the turn of this Sardar. When he went inside, since his resume
was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.”By the way, what is

your date of birth?” He replied, “The effort began a few years earlier

and final result was in 1947.” Somewhat puzzled, they asked another
clarification.”What is your fathers name?” He replied, “There were so
many. Whom to mention”. If I name one it will be injustice to another”
The interviewer was incensed. “Hey! are you mad or what?” He replied.
“Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only
after seeing the report.”

NDP 2007

One of the many firsts at this National Day Parade is the new ceremonial vehicle used by President S R Nathan to inspect all the 25 contingents of the parade. This is the first time that a President is inspecting all the contingents on wheels. In the past, he would inspect just the guard-of-honour contingent. Now he soooo lazy need car to replace march pass!

National Flag Fly-past

National Flag Fly-past, a traditional crowd favourite, will feature a Chinook helicopter carrying the 5400 sq ft (about 15 per cent bigger than a basketball court) State Flag, escorted by Apache helicopters. The fly-past will be synchronised with the singing of the National Anthem by spectators.

Presidential Salute and Bomb-Burst.

Following the National Anthem, three F-16 D Block 52+ Fighting Falcons in a “Victory” formation will perform a split-second precision and synchronised afterburner fly-past above the crowd at an ascending height from 500 to -1500 ft. This will be followed closely by five F-16 C fighter jets executing a visually spectacular bomb-burst as a salute to the President. To add colour to the aerial salute, the five F-16s will trail off with white smoke from the smoke pod that has been designed by the RSAF.

Apart from the aerial display, the Air Participation Committee will also be supporting the military free fall in the Talents Pool and Show segments, as well as in the Dynamic Defence Display. A total of 18 aircraft, 28 pilots and 13 aircrew will be involved in this year's NDP.

why Nathan don't sing national anthem Maleeketa yah Singpula??????

Top Indian Sins

10. Marrying a blond is a sin. Making love to a blond is a partial sin.

9. Pre-marital sex is a sin. Marital sex is a partial sin.

8. Taking dowry is a sin. Giving dowry is a partial sin.

7. Bullying one’s wife is a sin. Having to submit is a partial sin.

6. Gambling is a sin. Playing cards is a partial sin.

5. Drinking is a sin. Smoking is a partial sin.

4. Eating beef is a sin. Eating pork is a partial sin.

3. Hurting a cow is a sin. Hurting insects is a partial sin.

2. Not phoning home is a sin. Running up a huge bill is a partial sin.

1. Forgetting first language is a sin. Speaking with an accent is a partial sin.

Any one knows about SINDA?

Indian Self Help Organisation.

The Singapore Indian Development Association (SINDA) is a self-help group (SHG), that was formed in August 1991 to address the pressing educational and socio-economic issues facing the Indian community in Singapore.

Between September 1990 and March 1991, the Action Committee on Indian Education (ACIE) discussed issues facing the Indian community. The ACIE presented a report, 'At The Crossroads' to the Government in July 1991. This report highlighted the educational under-performance of Indian students and recommended wide-ranging remedial measures.


In this light, SINDA aims to raise the educational performance of Indian students. It also aims to promote family unity and helps in the social and economic development of Singapore Indians.

Our Vision

To build a strong and vibrant Indian Singaporean Community together.

Our Mission

To build a well-educated, resilient and confident community of Indians that stands together with other communities in contributing to the progress of multi-racial Singapore.

Our Objectives

To achieve parity in educational attainment with the national average at every landmark examination, by the year 2010.
To strengthen the family unit as the foundation of a socially resilient community.
To build a cohesive, caring and socially responsible community.
To foster understanding of and cooperation with the other communities in the pursuit of national aspirations.

The SPORE Proverb

One man's urine is another man's drinking water.
Citizens should be seen and not heard.
You pay millions, you still get monkeys!
We pay monkeys to get peanuts.
After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer
has the job of budgeting the balance.
Cleanliness is next to a Corrective Work Order.
The early bird catches the Hello Kitty.
Familiarity breeds people who might borrow money from you.
Where there's a will, there's a potential lawsuit.
Absence makes the man a quitter.
A land that rewards foreign talents over locals, will soon be foreign of talents locally, and eventually be foreign of talents totally.
What goes up can never come down: Law of GST and PTC.
You can lead a citizen to Newater, and you can force him to drink.
One good hike deserves another.
Every big hike starts with a small hike.
Lightning can strike twice if you suay-suay defame the wrong person.
A bird in the hand is cheaper than going Geylang.
No news is SPH news.
Make hay while the mee boils.
Old soldiers never die; they merely become insurance agents.
Two's company, but three's a GRC!

Top Indians In Singapore

C.V. Devan Nair - The drunk n womanizer
Sellapan Ramanathan - the prataman
S. Rajaratnam - The wise man
Shunmugam Jayakumar - the hard lawyer

Indian Singaporeans have generally been well represented, if not over-represented, in the nation's political leadership, including both the ruling People's Action Party (PAP) as well as opposition parties. Indians have served as two out of six Presidents of Singapore, one out of three Senior Ministers, two out of nine Deputy Prime Ministers and Ministers of several key ministries.

Just for Laughes

Siti gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" she asks.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.
Siti rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy!
Aunt Manai is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"
Siti slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the
bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door.
Sure enough,there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor.
"You rotten bitch," she screams.
"My husband's having a heart attack, and
you're running around naked scaring the kids!!"