One day an evil witch took over the forest, ''One-by-one, all of you useless animals have to come up here and tell a joke. If everybody laughs, you will be spared or else I'll cut off your head!''
The monkey went up first and told such a funny joke that all the animals laughed except fot a tortoise.. so the witch cut off his head.
Next, a giraffe went up and she, in turn told a joke that set all the animals off laughing... but still, the tortoise did not laugh... so the witch cut off her head.
Then, the rabbit went up... but before she could say a word, the tortoise
started laughing...
''Why are you laughing you stupid tortoise?'' the witch asked.
"The monkey's joke was very funny...'' was the reply.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Just For Laughes
A judge was interviewing an Indian lady regarding her pending divorce, and
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of
the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really
needed
one."
"Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I
do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a
divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a
divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of
the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really
needed
one."
"Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I
do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a
divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a
divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Prataman working
Prataman assured Singaporeans yesterday that detainees under the Internal Security Act (ISA) are protected by the law.
Asked by a leporter about the detention of polytechnic lecturer Abul Basher Abdul Kader - a 'self-radicalised' individual influenced by extremist propaganda on the Internet - Mr Prataman said that even in detention, 'there is a due process, there is a legislation'.
'The legislation provides what has to be done before you can detain a person and the recourse the person has against it. It's all there,' he said after touring the Harmony Centre. 'It's not something arbitrary.'
If the ISA Advisory Board recommends the release of a detainee, he cannot be further detained unless the President concurs. Under the Constitution, the President's concurrence is given in his discretion and not on the Cabinet's advice.
Since the Government announced the detention of 28-year-old Abdul Basher two weeks ago, concerns have been raised on the Internet about how he had been detained even though he had not yet committed any physical crime.
At the time of his arrest in February, he had made plans to pursue 'militant jihad' in Afghanistan by fighting beside the Taleban.
Mr Pratamen pointed out that crime, as understood traditionally, is different today.
He said: 'Terrorism is a kind of crime. To prove it is not easy.' He compared the threat of terror to the problems posed by secret societies in the past, where 'somebody will bash up somebody and you have no witnesses'.
'So when you're talking about due process, how do you bring these people out? How do you prove it? It's not something that is so simple.'
What is important, he said, is for countries in the region, such as Singapore and Malaysia, to understand the nature of terrorism and its impact on society.
Mr Prataman said the efforts of the Harmony Centre - set up in Bishan in October last year to promote a better understanding of Islam and promote inter-faith dialogue - help dispel the ignorant notion some people have that 'Islam is made up of terrorists'.
Profound man!
Asked by a leporter about the detention of polytechnic lecturer Abul Basher Abdul Kader - a 'self-radicalised' individual influenced by extremist propaganda on the Internet - Mr Prataman said that even in detention, 'there is a due process, there is a legislation'.
'The legislation provides what has to be done before you can detain a person and the recourse the person has against it. It's all there,' he said after touring the Harmony Centre. 'It's not something arbitrary.'
If the ISA Advisory Board recommends the release of a detainee, he cannot be further detained unless the President concurs. Under the Constitution, the President's concurrence is given in his discretion and not on the Cabinet's advice.
Since the Government announced the detention of 28-year-old Abdul Basher two weeks ago, concerns have been raised on the Internet about how he had been detained even though he had not yet committed any physical crime.
At the time of his arrest in February, he had made plans to pursue 'militant jihad' in Afghanistan by fighting beside the Taleban.
Mr Pratamen pointed out that crime, as understood traditionally, is different today.
He said: 'Terrorism is a kind of crime. To prove it is not easy.' He compared the threat of terror to the problems posed by secret societies in the past, where 'somebody will bash up somebody and you have no witnesses'.
'So when you're talking about due process, how do you bring these people out? How do you prove it? It's not something that is so simple.'
What is important, he said, is for countries in the region, such as Singapore and Malaysia, to understand the nature of terrorism and its impact on society.
Mr Prataman said the efforts of the Harmony Centre - set up in Bishan in October last year to promote a better understanding of Islam and promote inter-faith dialogue - help dispel the ignorant notion some people have that 'Islam is made up of terrorists'.
Profound man!
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Volunteer Urself
Specifically addressing young people, the Prataman urges everyone to “keep up the spirit of giving and volunteering”.
He said, "We are city dwellers living in comfort and it is very easy to forget that people affected by disasters are sometimes in a hopeless state."
"So I think it's good to encourage our young to help... there would be many areas where young people can go to sacrifice their time and effort and take part in projects."
Let us rally the public towards helping those in need of assistance and build a “more cohesive society”.
Who help me?
He said, "We are city dwellers living in comfort and it is very easy to forget that people affected by disasters are sometimes in a hopeless state."
"So I think it's good to encourage our young to help... there would be many areas where young people can go to sacrifice their time and effort and take part in projects."
Let us rally the public towards helping those in need of assistance and build a “more cohesive society”.
Who help me?
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Just for Laughes
Two Indian ladies had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very
faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the
Bacardi Breezers.
Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped
in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off
her panties and use them.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and
did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his
normally
sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the
other husband and said, "These darn girls nights have got to stop.
I'm starting to suspect the worst ... my wife came home with no
panties!"
"That's nothing" said the other husband, Sam Yee.
"Mine came back with a card stuck in the crack of her butt that said,
"From all of us at the Fire Station.
We'll never forget you."
faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the
Bacardi Breezers.
Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped
in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off
her panties and use them.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and
did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his
normally
sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the
other husband and said, "These darn girls nights have got to stop.
I'm starting to suspect the worst ... my wife came home with no
panties!"
"That's nothing" said the other husband, Sam Yee.
"Mine came back with a card stuck in the crack of her butt that said,
"From all of us at the Fire Station.
We'll never forget you."
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Condom Taboo in Malaysia
The Malaysian government cannot openly advocate condom use to fight AIDS in this Muslim-majority country, and so must rely on voluntary groups to promote the method, an official said Monday.
The government "strongly believes" in the use of condoms to prevent the spread of the HIV virus, said Jalal Halil Khalil, the deputy director of the Health Ministry's AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases unit.
"But some people may misinterpret us to be promoting promiscuity. So we cannot be too open ... we have to take into account religious sensitivities," he told The Associated Press.
He said parades and other mass campaigns to highlight condom use or discuss sex, as seen in neighboring Thailand, remained taboo here.
Earlier this year, the health ministry had warned the number of HIV infections in Malaysia could surge by more than fourfold to 300,000 by 2015 as the virus spread rapidly from high-risk groups, such as drug addicts, to the general public.
On Sunday, the International AIDS Memorial Day, Jalal called on non-governmental organizations, such as the Malaysian AIDS Council, to take on the task of promoting condom use.
Malaysian AIDS Council president Adeeba Kamarulzaman told the AP although the group had been able to carry out education and awareness drives, it had been impossible so far to put on a big generalized campaign, using the mass media for example.
The government "strongly believes" in the use of condoms to prevent the spread of the HIV virus, said Jalal Halil Khalil, the deputy director of the Health Ministry's AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases unit.
"But some people may misinterpret us to be promoting promiscuity. So we cannot be too open ... we have to take into account religious sensitivities," he told The Associated Press.
He said parades and other mass campaigns to highlight condom use or discuss sex, as seen in neighboring Thailand, remained taboo here.
Earlier this year, the health ministry had warned the number of HIV infections in Malaysia could surge by more than fourfold to 300,000 by 2015 as the virus spread rapidly from high-risk groups, such as drug addicts, to the general public.
On Sunday, the International AIDS Memorial Day, Jalal called on non-governmental organizations, such as the Malaysian AIDS Council, to take on the task of promoting condom use.
Malaysian AIDS Council president Adeeba Kamarulzaman told the AP although the group had been able to carry out education and awareness drives, it had been impossible so far to put on a big generalized campaign, using the mass media for example.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Management Screws
Ah Neh wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else.
So one day, Ah Neh got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.
Ah Neh said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called herboyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won' t even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!
So one day, Ah Neh got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.
Ah Neh said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called herboyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won' t even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Just for Laughes
A peasant was overseeing his herd of animals in the last family farm in Singapore when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the peasant, "If I tell you exactly how many sows and piglets you have in your herd, Will you give me a piglet?"
The peasant looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his HP notebook computer, connects it to his RAZRV3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls upa GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution on photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, hereceives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed andthe data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the peasant and says,"You have exactly 986 pigs and piglets." "That's right. Well, I guess youcan take one of my piglets," says the peasant. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the peasant says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my piglet?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
You're a MP for the PAP", says the peasant.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the peasant "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarterthan me you are; and you don't know a thing about pigs...this is a herd of goats.
Now give me back my dog.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the peasant, "If I tell you exactly how many sows and piglets you have in your herd, Will you give me a piglet?"
The peasant looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his HP notebook computer, connects it to his RAZRV3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls upa GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution on photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, hereceives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed andthe data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the peasant and says,"You have exactly 986 pigs and piglets." "That's right. Well, I guess youcan take one of my piglets," says the peasant. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the peasant says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my piglet?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
You're a MP for the PAP", says the peasant.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the peasant "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarterthan me you are; and you don't know a thing about pigs...this is a herd of goats.
Now give me back my dog.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Heaven and Hell
A Malaysian dies and goes to hell.There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.He goes first to the German hell and asks: "What do they do here?"
He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of theday."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves onHe checks out the American hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Malaysian hell and finds that there is a verylong line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Malaysian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?
Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goesto the canteen for teh-tarik..&...chit chat
He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of theday."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves onHe checks out the American hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Malaysian hell and finds that there is a verylong line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Malaysian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?
Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goesto the canteen for teh-tarik..&...chit chat
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Malaysia FTA with USA
Have you seen the Made-in-Malaysia car "Kancil"? You know, that very little 600cc car??? Well, Dr M really wanted to sell it to the US, so when Dr M paid a visit to the White House after finishing formal discussions with George Bush, Dr M checks with Bush to find out if there is a way to sell the Kancil in the USA .
After having looked at the brochure, Bush said, "You know, I think this 'KERNCHILL' is too small for us Americans." Not one who gives up easily, Dr M persisted and finally Bush offered, "Ok, take this number down. This guy is my good buddy and he's also the CEO of the biggest compact car distributor in North America ."
Dr M was satisfied with the meeting and returns to Malaysia . The next day
he called the number and a lady answered *,"TOYS R US , can I help you?"*
After having looked at the brochure, Bush said, "You know, I think this 'KERNCHILL' is too small for us Americans." Not one who gives up easily, Dr M persisted and finally Bush offered, "Ok, take this number down. This guy is my good buddy and he's also the CEO of the biggest compact car distributor in North America ."
Dr M was satisfied with the meeting and returns to Malaysia . The next day
he called the number and a lady answered *,"TOYS R US , can I help you?"*
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Malaysian's Choice
There are three major races in Malaysia - Malay, Chinese and Indian.
The Malays have the political power and so they set up the party UMNO, which literally means "U Must Not Object".
The Chinese, on the other hand, controls most of the economy and they called their party MCA which means "Money Conquers All".
Then there are the Indians who have no say in politics or economics. They set up their party called MIC. Hence, every Parliamentary meeting the Indians would ask : "Must I Come?"
The Malays have the political power and so they set up the party UMNO, which literally means "U Must Not Object".
The Chinese, on the other hand, controls most of the economy and they called their party MCA which means "Money Conquers All".
Then there are the Indians who have no say in politics or economics. They set up their party called MIC. Hence, every Parliamentary meeting the Indians would ask : "Must I Come?"
Monday, April 16, 2007
Indian Man
Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated, an Indian study has found.
The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run centre, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 per cent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had penises about 2.4cm shorter than those condoms catered for.
For a further 30 per cent, the difference was at least 5cm. A poor fit meant the prophylactics often didn't do the job they were bought for, and led to some tearing or slipping off during use.
'One of the reasons for a failure of up to 20 per cent (of condoms) is the association of the size of the condom to the erect penis,' the council's Dr Chander Puri said, adding another reason was couples often put them on in a hurry.
He said many men in India, which has the world's highest HIV positive caseload, were too shy to ask for condoms.
'We need more vending machines for condoms of different sizes so people can pick a condom with confidence that is suited to their needs,' he said.
The Times of India reported the ICMR survey had studied 1,400 men between 18-50 years of age in cities like Mumbai and New Delhi as well as in rural areas in a report. It entitled its story 'Indian men don't measure up'.
After a quick check on the Internet, I have ascertained that it is hardly a problem unique to India. It seems to happen all over the world - men struggle with condoms that are either too big or too small. I guess the nature of the product is that it has to fit very well - there isn't much much margin for error.
The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run centre, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 per cent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had penises about 2.4cm shorter than those condoms catered for.
For a further 30 per cent, the difference was at least 5cm. A poor fit meant the prophylactics often didn't do the job they were bought for, and led to some tearing or slipping off during use.
'One of the reasons for a failure of up to 20 per cent (of condoms) is the association of the size of the condom to the erect penis,' the council's Dr Chander Puri said, adding another reason was couples often put them on in a hurry.
He said many men in India, which has the world's highest HIV positive caseload, were too shy to ask for condoms.
'We need more vending machines for condoms of different sizes so people can pick a condom with confidence that is suited to their needs,' he said.
The Times of India reported the ICMR survey had studied 1,400 men between 18-50 years of age in cities like Mumbai and New Delhi as well as in rural areas in a report. It entitled its story 'Indian men don't measure up'.
After a quick check on the Internet, I have ascertained that it is hardly a problem unique to India. It seems to happen all over the world - men struggle with condoms that are either too big or too small. I guess the nature of the product is that it has to fit very well - there isn't much much margin for error.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Indian Complaint
An Indian COO can expect to earn a median salary of US$110,000, which translates into a pay-cheque of US$123,000 in Mumbai. If you’re a Chief Computer Programmer, expect an Indian average of US$24,000 – and of US$27,000 in Mumbai.
In cybermecca Bangalore, the same job will get US$21,000.
A skeptical Indian reader, Ram Potukuchi, wrote in to ask:
I read with interest your views on immigration—that it is not beneficial. As far as chain migration immigration and illegal immigration, you are probably correct. However, I would like to hear your views on these facts.
Immigrants (the majority from India) make up at least 28% of the engineers, scientists, computer programmers in this country. They also probably make up at least 5% of the doctors. Many of these doctors complete their residencies in hospitals American doctors would not train at (such as DC General Hospital in Washington D.C.). The doctors tend to practice in areas that American doctors would not want to practice in (i.e. black and Hispanic areas, rural areas).
While there may be a glut in physician supply, there is a shortage of doctors for poor people. Indian medical labor has been filling this gap for the past thirty years, a fact never mentioned on your website.
As for the other technical areas (engineering, computers, etc) the reality is that much of it is handled by Indians (or other immigrants). American students are weak in science and engineering, and America has to recruit to fill in the gaps. America has been recruiting these people for over thirty years. (My father was one of them, that’s why I’m living in the U.S.) Even today at companies like The Boeing Company, it is very difficult to recruit American-born
engineers in certain specialities (like microwave engineering, for example). The immigrants who get these jobs are not “cheap labor” as you suggest (starting salaries for an M.S. at $120,000 a year, much higher than the American family income). The immigrant engineers are not “displacing” Americans; there are few if any Americans to fill these jobs. I gave you one example (Boeing) but I could give you others (TRW, Lockheed, etc.). In Silicon Valley immigrants make up 40% of the “high-tech” workforce and these jobs pay a starting salary of $60,000 and the wages go up. They also are not “displacing” anybody, the American workforce as a whole cannot do this work. I doubt that many (or even any) of your “think-tank” writers has any idea what goes on in the computer, medical, or engineering fields. If you did you would have to explain away facts like these. If you don’t believe what I write, go to the aerospace companies or Silicon Valley or inner-city and rural health clinics and find out for yourself.
Also, it should be noted that if a company like Boeing is doing well, it “trickles down” to all the workers at Boeing (assemblers, technicians, managers, etc.) In that sense these immigrants help the economy, much more than your “ivory tower” sociological theories. America is the world leader in technology yet American students are, at best, mediocre in science and mathematics. Since the business and government leaders know this, they keep importing people. The people in charge really don’t pay attention to your theories—you write articles for each other, and
another generation of technical help comes into the U.S.
We asked Norm Matloff to reply:
The author here has trotted out several of the tried and true shibboleths concocted by the computer industry lobbyists. I’ll respond in brief here, and refer the reader to my updated congressional testimony, for details.
The author first points out that a substantial number of high-tech workers in this country are immigrants. True, but misleading, as his implication is that without those immigrants the jobs would be unfilled, which is not the case.
Actually, 30% of our nation’s small motels are owned by immigrants. Does the author really believe that without Indians we would not have motels?
The fact is that we are greatly underutilizing our own workers trained in the computers area. For example, 20 years after graduation from college, only 19% of computer science majors are still employed as programmers. This compares, for instance, to a figure of 57% of civil engineering majors who are still working as civil engineers 20 years after leaving school. Many were forced out of the field by the rampant age discrimination in this industry. It is they who
should be filling these jobs, not immigrants.
On the other end of the age scale, fewer than half of new graduates in computer science get programming jobs. The rest are shunted into semitechnical work like customer support, while the H-1Bs are hired for the programming.
I do believe that we should facilitate the immigration of “the best and the brightest” from around the world, but most of the foreign computer workers are not in that category at all. INS statistics show, for example, that 75% of the H-1B visa workers in the computer area make less than $55,000 per year, hardly “genius” pay for this profession, which can run to $100,000 and more.
The author mentions engineers at Boeing. Since I am a computer scientist and not an electrical engineer, I cannot comment in detail. But it is irrelevant, since the vast majority of high-tech H-1Bs are computer programmers, not engineers. For example, among H-1Bs, those with computer science degrees outnumber those with electrical engineering degrees by a ratio of 15-to-1.
That by the way is also the reason why the author’s claim that “Americans are weak in science and math” is irrelevant—one does not use science and math in programming.
For the record, his claim is also incorrect. American test scores in international comparisons in science and math are negatively impacted by our large underclass, which the East Asian nations do not have. U.S. states which do not have the dilemma of teaching a large underclass (a major component of which, by the way, is immigrants), such as Iowa, Nebraska and Utah, have test scores comparable to those of South Korea et al. The U.S. has double the per-
capita number of engineers that S. Korea does, and is second in the world in this regard, after Israel. Oddly, the author says a good a source of programmers and engineers is India—a country whose test scores would be abysmal if one included the nation’s 400 million illiterates. Come on, you can’t have it both ways.
I would also point out that Boeing is one of the worst examples the author could cite, as their expressed goal is to save on salary costs. A Boeing representative at an industry-sponsored “high-tech shortage” conference told me that Boeing does not even bother to recruit new graduates of California universities, as they are too expensive.
If the author does not believe the H-1Bs are paid less on average than comparable Americans, he should read the studies performed at UCLA and Cornell University which show the wage exploitation—with both studies being authored by prominent immigrant advocates. And one doesn’t even need studies, as the exploitation is clear from basic economic principles: Due to the de facto indentured servitude of most H-1Bs, they cannot get higher pay by changing
employers or by threatening to do so. Thus by definition, on average they cannot get as high a salary as they would if they were able to move freely about in the labor market.
In cybermecca Bangalore, the same job will get US$21,000.
A skeptical Indian reader, Ram Potukuchi, wrote in to ask:
I read with interest your views on immigration—that it is not beneficial. As far as chain migration immigration and illegal immigration, you are probably correct. However, I would like to hear your views on these facts.
Immigrants (the majority from India) make up at least 28% of the engineers, scientists, computer programmers in this country. They also probably make up at least 5% of the doctors. Many of these doctors complete their residencies in hospitals American doctors would not train at (such as DC General Hospital in Washington D.C.). The doctors tend to practice in areas that American doctors would not want to practice in (i.e. black and Hispanic areas, rural areas).
While there may be a glut in physician supply, there is a shortage of doctors for poor people. Indian medical labor has been filling this gap for the past thirty years, a fact never mentioned on your website.
As for the other technical areas (engineering, computers, etc) the reality is that much of it is handled by Indians (or other immigrants). American students are weak in science and engineering, and America has to recruit to fill in the gaps. America has been recruiting these people for over thirty years. (My father was one of them, that’s why I’m living in the U.S.) Even today at companies like The Boeing Company, it is very difficult to recruit American-born
engineers in certain specialities (like microwave engineering, for example). The immigrants who get these jobs are not “cheap labor” as you suggest (starting salaries for an M.S. at $120,000 a year, much higher than the American family income). The immigrant engineers are not “displacing” Americans; there are few if any Americans to fill these jobs. I gave you one example (Boeing) but I could give you others (TRW, Lockheed, etc.). In Silicon Valley immigrants make up 40% of the “high-tech” workforce and these jobs pay a starting salary of $60,000 and the wages go up. They also are not “displacing” anybody, the American workforce as a whole cannot do this work. I doubt that many (or even any) of your “think-tank” writers has any idea what goes on in the computer, medical, or engineering fields. If you did you would have to explain away facts like these. If you don’t believe what I write, go to the aerospace companies or Silicon Valley or inner-city and rural health clinics and find out for yourself.
Also, it should be noted that if a company like Boeing is doing well, it “trickles down” to all the workers at Boeing (assemblers, technicians, managers, etc.) In that sense these immigrants help the economy, much more than your “ivory tower” sociological theories. America is the world leader in technology yet American students are, at best, mediocre in science and mathematics. Since the business and government leaders know this, they keep importing people. The people in charge really don’t pay attention to your theories—you write articles for each other, and
another generation of technical help comes into the U.S.
We asked Norm Matloff to reply:
The author here has trotted out several of the tried and true shibboleths concocted by the computer industry lobbyists. I’ll respond in brief here, and refer the reader to my updated congressional testimony, for details.
The author first points out that a substantial number of high-tech workers in this country are immigrants. True, but misleading, as his implication is that without those immigrants the jobs would be unfilled, which is not the case.
Actually, 30% of our nation’s small motels are owned by immigrants. Does the author really believe that without Indians we would not have motels?
The fact is that we are greatly underutilizing our own workers trained in the computers area. For example, 20 years after graduation from college, only 19% of computer science majors are still employed as programmers. This compares, for instance, to a figure of 57% of civil engineering majors who are still working as civil engineers 20 years after leaving school. Many were forced out of the field by the rampant age discrimination in this industry. It is they who
should be filling these jobs, not immigrants.
On the other end of the age scale, fewer than half of new graduates in computer science get programming jobs. The rest are shunted into semitechnical work like customer support, while the H-1Bs are hired for the programming.
I do believe that we should facilitate the immigration of “the best and the brightest” from around the world, but most of the foreign computer workers are not in that category at all. INS statistics show, for example, that 75% of the H-1B visa workers in the computer area make less than $55,000 per year, hardly “genius” pay for this profession, which can run to $100,000 and more.
The author mentions engineers at Boeing. Since I am a computer scientist and not an electrical engineer, I cannot comment in detail. But it is irrelevant, since the vast majority of high-tech H-1Bs are computer programmers, not engineers. For example, among H-1Bs, those with computer science degrees outnumber those with electrical engineering degrees by a ratio of 15-to-1.
That by the way is also the reason why the author’s claim that “Americans are weak in science and math” is irrelevant—one does not use science and math in programming.
For the record, his claim is also incorrect. American test scores in international comparisons in science and math are negatively impacted by our large underclass, which the East Asian nations do not have. U.S. states which do not have the dilemma of teaching a large underclass (a major component of which, by the way, is immigrants), such as Iowa, Nebraska and Utah, have test scores comparable to those of South Korea et al. The U.S. has double the per-
capita number of engineers that S. Korea does, and is second in the world in this regard, after Israel. Oddly, the author says a good a source of programmers and engineers is India—a country whose test scores would be abysmal if one included the nation’s 400 million illiterates. Come on, you can’t have it both ways.
I would also point out that Boeing is one of the worst examples the author could cite, as their expressed goal is to save on salary costs. A Boeing representative at an industry-sponsored “high-tech shortage” conference told me that Boeing does not even bother to recruit new graduates of California universities, as they are too expensive.
If the author does not believe the H-1Bs are paid less on average than comparable Americans, he should read the studies performed at UCLA and Cornell University which show the wage exploitation—with both studies being authored by prominent immigrant advocates. And one doesn’t even need studies, as the exploitation is clear from basic economic principles: Due to the de facto indentured servitude of most H-1Bs, they cannot get higher pay by changing
employers or by threatening to do so. Thus by definition, on average they cannot get as high a salary as they would if they were able to move freely about in the labor market.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Bob Farewell
The team are shocked and saddened to hear of the death of Bob Woolmer. He devoted his life to cricket, both as a
player and in particular as an innovative and respected coach. He will be sorely missed by the cricket community.
Our sincere and heartfelt condolences go to his wife, Gill and sons Dale and Russell.
Godspeed Bob, go in peace."May your pitch in the sky be evenpaced, the boundaries small and the sky always blue. - Anon"
player and in particular as an innovative and respected coach. He will be sorely missed by the cricket community.
Our sincere and heartfelt condolences go to his wife, Gill and sons Dale and Russell.
Godspeed Bob, go in peace."May your pitch in the sky be evenpaced, the boundaries small and the sky always blue. - Anon"
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Understanding the red dot
The holy dot or bindi (also known as kumkum, mangalya, tilak, sindhoor and by other names) is an auspicious makeup worn by young Hindu girls and women on their forehead.
The term is derived from bindu, the Sanskrit word for a dot or a point. It is usually a red dot made with vermilion (finely powdered bright red mercuric sulphide).
Considered a blessed symbol of Uma or Parvati, a bindi signifies female energy (shakti) and is believed to protect women and their husbands.
Traditionally a symbol of marriage (hence the widows did not wear vermilion), it has now become a decorative item and is worn today by unmarried girls and women of other religions as well.
No longer restricted in color or shape, bindis today are seen in many colors and designs and are manufactured with self-adhesives and felt.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Cricket is about Life and Death!
Wats so great about India's Cricket... Out in the first Round. One cannot lose its ball game, its about life and death. Murder they cried!
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Just for Laughes
Why do Indian women have a red dot on their foreheads?
Because their husbands are always using their index finger to poke them between their eyes (right above their nose) and say "Can you please Stop shaking your head!"
Because their husbands are always using their index finger to poke them between their eyes (right above their nose) and say "Can you please Stop shaking your head!"
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Laughing Sessions
Indians are singularly humourless people who find it difficult to laugh unless it is prescribed by a doctor and administered as a dose good for our health. Go to any park in any city and you will see middle-aged men and women with long, sad faces looking as if they had just broken away form a funeral procession for a few minutes to rest their feet before rejoining it.
They line up on a lawn like soldiers on drill and await their leader’s command to begin their exercise. He raises one arm; they fall silent. He brings it down with a jerk, they start laughing – hee, hee, hee – haw, haw, haw – and bray like donkeys for full fifteen minutes. Their leader raises his hand again. They fall silent. Put back their long, sad faces, break lines and rejoin the funeral procession.
They line up on a lawn like soldiers on drill and await their leader’s command to begin their exercise. He raises one arm; they fall silent. He brings it down with a jerk, they start laughing – hee, hee, hee – haw, haw, haw – and bray like donkeys for full fifteen minutes. Their leader raises his hand again. They fall silent. Put back their long, sad faces, break lines and rejoin the funeral procession.
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