Just for Laughes

An Ah neh walks into a dentist's office and ask how much it will cost for a wisdom tooth extraction.
"$80," replied the dentist."That's a ridiculous amount" says the ah neh.
"Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well" the dentist says, "if you don't use an aestheic, I can knock the price down to $60."
Looking angry, ah neh says, "that's still too expensive!"
"Ok," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia an simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pilers, I can knock the price down to $20."
"Nope!!!" moans the ah neh, "it's still too much for me."
"Well" says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students to do it, I suppose I can knock down the price to $10."
" Very GOOD!" says ah neh. "Book my wife for next week."

Just For Laughes

Dr. Mahathir was about to send the first Malaysian rocket into space. 3 potential astronauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.

Dr. M interviews the Indian guy first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you
should be paid for it?"

Muthu thinks to himself and says, "1 million ringgit."

"Why so much?" asks Dr. M.

"Nowadays toddy wery expensive, Datuk..." replies Muthu.

"I see," said Dr. M. "Thank you... please ask the Malay guy to come here."

So the Malay guy walks up, and is asked the same question.

"Uh... 2 million boleh lah," replies the Malay applicant.

"2 million? That's a lot of money! Even the aneh before you only asked for one million!"

"You see, Datuk," explained the Mat. "I have 4 wives and 15 children... so, 20 of us in the family, we need a lot of money to support ourselves..."

"I see," said Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask the Chinese guy to come up here now?"

The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid?"

Ah Chong thinks for a while, and suddenly says, "3 million."

Mahathir is shocked. "WHAT?!?! 3 million? Why so much?!"

Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer, and whispers "One million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million we send the aneh into space."

Just for laughes

One day at the Istana, Mr Devan Nair's son wanted to borrow the Presidential Rolls for a night out on the town. So Devan reluctantly agreed, saying that it should be back by midnight.

Midnight came and went and still no car. 2 am and still no car. So Devan hops on his son's motorcycle and goes out in search of his son and the car. He goes all over town but can't find it.

Finally, at 6am he gives up and comes putt-putting back to the Istana. The guard looks at him and says, "Eh, Thambi, how come today no Straits Times?"

Just For Laughes

One day, our beloved Senior Minister went to Thailand and had lobster for dinner with the Thai King. After SM had finished, he asked the King....

SM: Your Highness, what can you do with this lobster shell?
King : We cannot do anything with it, we just throw it away.
SM: Oh, no. In our country, we send it to the factory and produce prawn crackers.

Then SM had an orange. After he had finished, he asked the King.
SM: What can you do with the orange skin?
King : We cannot do anything. We just throw it away.
SM: Oh, no. In Singapore, we send it to the factory and produce orange jam.

Then SM asked for some chewing gum. After he had finished, he put it on the plate and asked the King.
SM: What can you do with the chewing gum?
King: Oh, no. We just throw it away.
SM: In Singapore, we send it to the factory to produce condoms and then send it to Thailand.

SM was about to leave but then the King asked him...
King: What do you do with the condom when you finish using it?
SM: We cannot do anything. We just throw it away.
King: In Thailand, when we finish using the condom, we send it to the factory to produce chewing gum and then send it back to Singapore!!!

And that is the reason why chewing gum is banned in Singapore.

Just For Laughes

UMNO, MCA, MIC

There are three major races in Malaysia. They are the Malay, Chinese and Indian. The Malay has the political power and so they set up the party UMNO which literally means "U Must Not Object".

While the Chinese controlled the economy and they called their party MCA which means "Money Conquered All".

Lastly, the Indian who has no say in politic or economics, set up their party called MIC. Hence, every parliamentary meeting the Indians would ask: "Must I Come?"

Just for Laughes

Why do Malays have the privilege of having 4 wives when they don’t even have the ability to count?

There is a huge diamond in the centre of a square room and there are 4 people in the room. Batman, Spiderman, smart Malay and dumb Malay stands at each corner respectively. So the lights went off, and 4 of them rush towards the diamond. Who got the diamond?
Answer: Dumb Malay, because Batman, Spiderman and smart Malay are fictional characters.

Essentially, there are much more about Malays and Islam but I guess those are over the line. Have you ever seen a group of teenagers (at mamak stall) talking very softly but occasionally bursting out in laughter? Well, at least now you know what they are talking about.

Just for Laughes

Perhaps the hair is the only straight thing about a Chinese. (Although one of my body parts can assure you that this is not true).

If a Chinese goes to Antarctica, he’ll probably dig out the ice, operate a new ice selling business, and con the Eskimos into buying it.

Never be punctual for a Chinese wedding, because God forbid a Chinese wedding to start on time. Never give a red packet consists less than $50, because they will have a book to record it, and will announce your stinginess to the world.