Just for laughes

Taken to the cleaners

Two Malaysian mats are walking along Boon Lay Road when they see a sign which reads: 'Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 per pair'.

Ali says to his pal, "Gerek, sial! We could buy a whole lot and when we get back to Johor, we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you diam-diam, okay? Just let me do all the talking 'cause if they hear our accent they might not serve us. I'll speak in my best Singapore accent."

They go in and Ali orders 50 suits at 5.00 each, 100 shirts at 2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at 2.50 each.

The owner of the shop says, "You're from Malaysia, aren't you?"

"Oh, ... yes," says a surprised Ali. "How come you know that?"

The owner says, "This is a dry-cleaners."


Anyhow Whack

Once there was a kampung, and the village headman was very concerned about the poor economic performance of the Malay community. So he commissioned a professor of sociology to study all the communities of the village to discover the cause.

After much study, the professor finally reported back to the headman.

"Well, it looks like the economic problems all stem from the drumbeats of each community," said the professor.

"Eh? What you talking?" replied the headman.

"You see, the Malay word for 'profit' is 'untong'. And it so happens that the Chinese drumbeat is UNTONG ... UNTONG ... UNTONG, UNTONG, UNTONG!!"

"I see, so of course they make lots of money! And what about the Indians?"

"Well, the Indians don't make that much money, so their drumbeat is SIKIT SIKIT UNTONG, SIKIT SIKIT UNTONG."

"And the Malays?"

"Unfortunately, it's TAK UNTONG, TAK UNTONG, TAK UNTONG ..."