Just For Laughes

I found this.... Ha ha....

Mahathir was so disappointed with his cabinet for being inefficient and corrupt that he decided to call on Goh Chok Tong and ask him how he managed to have such an efficient and uncorruptable cabinet.

On hearing Mahathir's woes, PM Goh said, 'Simple, Mahathir, I choose able men for my cabinet. ' Mahathir asked, 'Yes, but how do you know that they are able?' PM Goh replied, Just ask them simple questions to test their intelligence. They don't need to be too difficult. Let me illustrate to you.'

Just then, Tony Tan was walking by, PM Goh called out to him, 'Hey Tony, come over here.' Tony obediently walked briskly over. PM Goh asked, 'Tell me, Tony, who is your father's son ?'

Tony Tan immediately replied, 'Me! Of course.' PM Goh turned to Mahathir and said, 'See, all my ministers can answer this question. Why don't you go back and try.' Mahathir thank PM Goh and left.

Once he was back, he immediately summoned Anwar, his deputy, and shot the question at him, 'Tell me, Anwar, who is your father's son ?' Anwar was shocked beyond words and did not know the answer

After a while, he recovered and said, 'Boss, let me find out and I'll tell you tomorrow.' Mahathir, a bit disappointed, agreed, hoping that Anwar will give a good answer tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Anwar was panicking that his boss was testing him. He tried desperately to find out the answer from his staff, but none of them knew the answer. The next morning, he decided to call Bill Clinton for help.

Surely the most powerful person in the world must know the answer. When Bill picked up the phone, Anwar said, 'Hello, Bill, can I ask you a question?' Clinton, very busy, replied, 'Alright, but it better be good!' Anwar quickly asked, Tell me, who is your father's son ?'

Clinton was fuming, 'Of course its me, you stupid!' and he slammed the phone down

Satisfied that he got the answer, he confidently walked into Mahathir's office and said, 'Boss, I've got the answer to your question.'

Mahathir, happy that his deputy wasn't that dumb, said, 'So tell me quick, who is your father's son, Anwar?' Anwar confidently replied, 'It''s BILL CLINTON!'

Mahathir slapped his own forehead in disgust and said, No you stupid! It's TONY TAN!'

Top Ah Neh Pass away

Former Deputy Prime Minister S. Rajaratnam, one of Singapore's founding fathers, has died.

The man who penned the lines for the Singapore Pledge, Mr Rajaratnam had retired from politics in 1988 after 29 years in Cabinet - the last four as Senior Minister.

Mr Rajaratnam, who would have turned 91 years old on Saturday, died of heart failure at 3.15pm on Wednesday.

A former journalist, Mr Rajaratnam had a long and illustrious career as a Cabinet Minister.

But he will also be remembered for his keen intellect, his passion for ideas and books, his humour and his wit.

In 1983, Mr Rajaratnam said: "Singapore run only by PhD's would be my vision of a purgatory. Equally, a government run by road sweepers can be no less a terrifying place to live in."

He once said: "Singapore is prosperous and people are leaving us alone because we are strong and nobody disturbs...

"Even elephants do not disturb a hornet's nest. The hornets are very small but if you go and disturb the hornets' nests, all the hornets join together and can make life miserable - no animal ever disturbs an hornet's nest though the nest is very small.

"So Singapore should be a hornet's nest, two-and-a- half million people, everyone is a bee with a sting."

Born in Sri Lanka on 25 February 1915, Mr Rajaratnam was educated at Victoria Institution in Kuala Lumpur and then Raffles Institution in Singapore.

He became politically active during a stint in London.

And it was in London that he met his wife Piroska Feher, a Hungarian teacher and his soul-mate in their 48 years of marriage.

After the Second World War, Mr Rajaratnam first worked as a reporter, and then Associate Editor of the Singapore Standard from 1950 to 1954.

Even then, he believed in nationalism and self-determination, and that Singapore must be run by Singaporeans.

One of the founder members of the People's Action Party, he quit journalism in 1959 to run in the Legislative Assembly Elections. He served in the Kampong Glam constituency for 29 years.

Soon after being elected, Mr Rajaratnam was appointed Minister of Culture and he made television history with the first speech to be broadcast to Singaporeans.

On 15 February 1963, Mr Rajaratnam said: "Tonight Television Singapore begins transmission with the mother's pilot service. And tonight marked the start of a social and actual revolution in our lives.

"If used intelligently and responsibly, television can far more effectively than any other mass media broaden the intellectual horizons of the ordinary man."

Mr Rajaratnam had more than a knack for simplifying and presenting ideas to the man in the street.

President S.R. Nathan said: "He had a sobering effect in times of crisis. He was a communicator of what they had intended to do.

"He was an ideas' man. Sometimes maybe far-fetched but ideas nevertheless drawn from history, drawn from experience, drawn from his journalistic experience. And sometimes he probably would say how this was to be conveyed.

"So even tough messages could be conveyed in language that the average man can understand and relate to. This was necessary at that time. People were looking for leadership and guidance from the government and invariably they realise that this government would find them the answer."

As Singapore's first foreign minister, Mr Rajaratnam worked from scratch to set up the Foreign Service and formulated a foreign policy to put then little-known Singapore on the map of international politics.

Mr Lee Kuan Yew, Singapore's Prime Minister (1959-1990), said: "Raja was a man of enormous charm, personal charm, integrity and character and he had a difficult job because Singapore was a difficult country to represent.

"I mean, we were small, we were not viable and people doubted whether we would survive, but he had this enormous gift of being self-possessed.

"He doesn't look diffident. He is not arrogant. He is friendly, approachable, very personable and he gets on with people. He wins the confidence of those who deal with him, and that was a great advantage."

"So, of all my colleagues, I thought he was the one who would represent us best abroad and he did."

He was the key person who gave Singapore a louder voice - one that was out of proportion to the island-state's geopolitical significance and size.

Professor Tommy Koh, Ambassador-at-Large, said: "He has always felt that as the foreign minister of a very small country that he had to punch hard in order to be noticed.

"I also learnt from him that one ought not to be intimidated by one's small size. That if you have good ideas and you can persuade other people to know you have good ideas, you will succeed in spite of your small size. He was therefore responsible for this pro-active streak in our foreign policy tradition."

In a speech to Parliament in December 1965, Mr Rajaratnam gave a realistic appraisal of Singapore's position in Southeast Asia, and outlined a foreign policy which aims to cultivate as many permanent friends for the country as possible.

Professor Koh added: "He was a people person. People warmed up to him. He likes people. He likes company, he was the wordsmith. The government needed a friendly face to the world and he was the friendly face to the world."

On 8 August 1967, the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) was born and Mr Rajaratnam was one of the five founder-members who signed this new agreement.

ASEAN went on to grow into the major 10-member regional organisation it is today.

Back home, Mr Rajaratnam introduced the policy of multi-racialism, insisting that the three main races be accorded equal importance and significance.

And he worked hard at forging a common identity among Singaporeans.

It was an unenviable task, considering the strong communal, racial and religious differences among Singaporeans then.

On 25 February 1990, Mr Rajaratnam said: "Certainly all of us who went into politics believed in it that we can create a Singapore where race, religion, language does not matter.

"What matters is that we are one people and if you know there's a song we have. It goes something like, I cannot remember - "We are Singapore and these are my friends." - This is why I am here tonight."

This sentiment was the very basis of the Singapore Pledge he had penned:

"We the citizens of Singapore pledged ourselves as one united people. Regardless of race, language, or religion..."

Mr Rajaratnam said: "This was a new generation but now that they are all grown up, probably fathers and grandfathers but at that time, this concept (of a nation) was not even part of the imagination of adults, let alone children.

"So the best way to create a nation is to start from the schools. Once this is embodied and thinking by pure repetition everyday, that becomes part of the psyche of the people.

"So let me tell you if you are a Singaporean - two and a half million - no place to run - no more. Whether you are a Singapore Chinese, Singapore Malay and Singapore Indian, you cannot run away. This is your last stand, last outpost. So how do you do it?

"If you think of yourself as Chinese, Malays, Indians and Sri Lankans, then Singapore will collapse. You must think of Singapore - this is my country. I fight and die for Singapore if necessary."

One of the last of the Old Guard leaders to retire from politics, Mr Rajaratnam stepped down as Senior Minister at the age of 73 but he continued to work at the Institute of Southeast Asian Studies till 1996.

After his wife Piroska died in 1989, Mr Rajaratnam was asked about his thoughts on death and if he feared it.

He answered: "No, not death, but how one dies...one day, before the curtain closes, I would like to know, did I do something worthwhile?"

The answer must be a firm "yes".

Just for Laughes

MEANING OF WIFE AND HUSBAND

W --- wonderful
I ---- item
F --- for
E --- entertainment

H---- handsome
U --- useful
S --- smart
B --- but
A --- at
N --- night
D --- dangerous

Just for Laughes

RESEARCH FINDING

Research shows men are fatter than women
because every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas
while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch

Just for laughes

Subject: Church Organist

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never beenmarried. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into herquaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut glassbowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the waterfloated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor triedto stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater,but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "MissBeatrice", he said. "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing tothe bowl.

"Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the parka few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. Thedirections said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it wouldprevent the spread of disease.

Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!"....

Just for Laughes

HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME

This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress....
while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?".

Just for laughes

NAMES OF WIVES

One man had 4 wives, so he called his
4th wife..... baby doll,
3rd wife ....china doll,
2nd wife.....barbie doll,
1st wife..... panadol.


DON' T LOOK AT NAKED LADY

Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I ' ll turn into stone.
A part of me is getting hard already.

AhNeh Movie

"Our enemy is nameless, faceless. We don't know their numbers except that they are sure to be many. We don't know their weapons except that they are sure to be more sophisticated then woman."

If you are interested to see more of the dancing, running around trees, Indian MTV, fake fighting scene and Indian soft porn. visit http://www.indianmovieclub.com

I kind of enjoyed some to those shows. :)

Just for Laughes?????

This image is no Joke!

Just for laughes

My best friend is Pussy.






My neighor is two balls.





I live in an enclosed area. Dark and smelly.





I like being rubbed.







Its hard to be a DICK. But I love to be HARD!