Just for Laughes

Ah Neh bought a new mobile. He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,'My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

Ah Neh : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Neh: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him

Ah Neh : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Neh : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game

Ah Neh : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Neh : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

Ah Neh : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Neh : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again

Ah Neh complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Neh : 'I was watching TV news...'

Ah Neh comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'

How do you recognize Ah Neh in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Once Ah Neh was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Ah Neh in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

Ah Neh : Why are all these people running? Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup Ah Neh - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Neh : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

Ah Neh told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Neh : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

A man asked Ah Neh why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning
Ah Neh replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

Major art events at the Istana

AS PART of Singapore's National Day celebrations, the Istana will be open to the public on Sunday, August 2, and will include the annual Istana Art Event.

This year the Istana Art Event will include an art competition and the 'Canopy of Dreams' installation which features 1,000 umbrellas covered in designs by students from pre-schools, primary schools, secondary schools, a special-needs school and a polytechnic.

Canopy of Dreams is based on the idea of a rainforest 'providing shelter to all' and the umbrellas represent the people of Singapore 'weathering' hard times together.

'The Istana Art Event is one of SAM's key community outreach platforms and an opportunity to show Singapore how art can bring people together in a joyous and accessible way,' says Director-Designate, Singapore Art Museum, Mr Tan Boon Hui. 'The Museum believes that art should be for all and the Istana Art Event demonstrates this.'

The On-The-Spot Art Competition is open to everyone from the age of 5 years and older with winners from each category receiving a cash prize from President S R Nathan. The competition's theme is based on this year's National Day Parade - Come Together: Reaching Out. Reaching Up.
Families will also be able to enjoy a number of art and heritage activities created by The Singapore Art Museum, Asian Civilisations Museum, National Museum of Singapore and Philatelic Museum.

Entertainment will be provided by the SAF Music and Drama Company, Swiss Cottage Secondary School's NCC Command Band Swiss Winds and Maha Bodhi School Band, as well as Singabeat by the People's Association.

Due to the recent H1N1 flu outbreak, organisers have requested that people who feel unwell or have 'flu-like' symptoms refrain from visiting the Istana Open House.

Entry to the grounds is free for Singaporeans and Singapore PRs; other visitors need to pay a $1 fee per person and entry is via the Istana's main gate on Orchard Road. For an additional fee of $2, visitors can also tour selected rooms to view various gifts presented to the President and the Prime Minister.

Schools and organised art groups are requested to pre-register for the On-The-Spot Art Competition by Sunday, July 26. Contact nhb_sam_programs@nhb.gov.sg for more information.

Prataman officiate sworn Ins

NOMINATED MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT Their term of appointment as NMPs will commence on 18 July 2009

1. Mr Calvin Cheng Ern Lee
2. Mr Terry Lee Kok Hua
3. Mrs Mildred Tan-Sim Beng Mei
4. Assoc Prof Paulin Tay Straughan
5. Mr Teo Siong Seng
6. Mr Viswaroopan s/o Sadasivan
7. Mr Laurence Wee Yoke Thong
8. Ms Audrey Wong Wai Yen
9. Ms Joscelin Yeo Wei Ling

The nine NMPs are sworn in on July 20, officially appointed by Prataman, the nine will serve a 21/2-year term.

Visit Istana and See our President

Istana means 'palace' in Malay. It is the official residence of the President of the Republic of Singapore. Upcoming Istana Open House. Sunday, 2 August 2009, come and visit our very own Prataman!

Istana Grounds
Admission is free for all Singaporeans and Permanent Residents.
Other visitors are required to pay an entrance fee of $1 per person.

Staterooms
$2 per person for all visitors.
Visitors are advised to avoid wearing shorts and slippers into the Staterooms.

Entrance to the grounds is via the main gate at Orchard Road.
Opening hours are usually from 8.30 am to 6.00 pm.

All proceeds of admissions and sales of merchandise to the Open House will go to the Community Chest.

New Delhi metro bridge collapse

So much for India's Bridges...

One section of a bridge being built for the Indian capital's metro rail system collapsed Sunday, crushing to death five workers and injuring 13 in a major setback to the project that officials hope to complete before the 2010 Commonwealth Games.

New Delhi's landmark metro rail project is already operating three lines and is working around the clock to build several extensions. The metro is the pride of the city, where commuters were long forced to rely on smoke-belching buses, rickety three-wheel motorized rickshaws or their own motorcycles.

The project was particularly notable because it opened on schedule about seven years ago — an almost unheard of feat in India, where corruption-related overruns are common.

E. Sreedharan, the head of the Delhi Metro Rail Corp., has been hailed as a modern-day hero, but on Sunday, he tendered his resignation to take moral responsibility for the collapse, which is a rare blemish in the largely successful project.

"This is a very, very serious accident," said Sreedharan, an official known for his integrity and dedication. He said he sent his resignation letter to New Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit, who has not yet said whether she will accept it.

The accident occurred on a particularly tricky section, where a 2.5-mile (4-kilometer) metal cantilever was being raised to attach to a long section of concrete girders, all of which tumbled down in a V-shape pile.

The area — near the tony Greater Kailash neighborhood — was cordoned off and cranes worked to clear the rubble to reopen the road underneath. A high-powered committee, comprising engineers and experts was appointed to find the cause of the accident and submit its report with 10 days, Sreedharan said.

He said two workers died at the accident site and three at the hospital. Two of the 13 hospitalized workers are in serious condition while the rest suffered minor injuries.

Sreedharan noted the casualty toll could have been higher if the accident had not happened so early in the morning.

The metro's first three lines opened in 2002 and cover a total of 45 miles (75 kilometers). Authorities are rushing to complete several extensions totaling about 60 miles (100 kilometers) before the October 2010 Commonwealth Games. Sreedharan said the project would be delayed for at least three months.

The accident caused a damage worth 60 million rupees ($1.25 million), he said.

In October last year, two people were killed and at least 11 injured in a similar accident at a metro construction site.

The highly efficient and clean metro rail system is the third mass urban transport system in the country.

India Got the best Tourist Spot

The Indian city of Udaipur, known as the "Venice of the East", was voted the world's best city for travellers in 2009 in an online poll by Travel + Leisure magazine, trumping last year's winner Bangkok.

The island of Bali in Indonesia topped the Galapagos to be named best island in the annual poll, in which casual and laid-back destinations prevailed.

Magazine readers also voted Bushmans Kloof Cedar Mountains, in South Africa, as the world's top hotel while Singapore Airlines grabbed the best airline award again.

Nancy Novogrod, editor-in-chief of Travel + Leisure said this year's poll reflected changing travel interests in a challenging economy, with Udaipur, famous for its canals and palaces, a current tourist favourite for well-heeled Westerners.

"Value, intimacy, service, and discovery are top priorities. As for that so-last-August-sounding word, luxury, it's all about enclaves that shelter stealth wealth," she said in a statement.

Novogrod said dramatically sited outposts ranging from Jade Mountain in St. Lucia to San Ysidro Ranch in California featured highly this year.

Value ratings for a number of top-ranked cities -- Udaipur, Cape Town, Bangkok, Buenos Aires, Chiang Mai, and Luang Prabang -- were sky-high while other far-flung cities also made a strong showing.

However, favourites such as New York City, Florence, Rome, and San Francisco remained in the top 10 overall.

The results were complied from votes by magazine subscribers in an Internet poll which went live between January and March. Travel + Leisure will honour winners on July 21 in New York.

The complete "World's Best Awards" is available on www.travelandleisure.com. Following are some highlights:

Best city - Udaipur, India

Best hotel - Bushmans Kloof Cedar Mountains, South Africa

Best island - Bali, Indonesia

Best cruise line - Crystal Cruises

Best cruise line - The Yachts of Seabourn

Best international airline - Singapore Airlines

Best domestic airline - Virgin America

Best tour operator - Austin-Lehman Adventures

Best car-rental agency - Sext

Best destination spa - Mii amo, A Destination Spa at Enchantment, Sedona

SURE OR NOT?

India to launch first nuclear submarine

India is expected to launch a locally built nuclear-powered submarine later this month, making it one of only a handful of countries with the technology to produce such a vessel.

Manmohan Singh, India’s prime minister, is scheduled to visit the Visakhapatnam naval base in Andhra Pradesh on July 26 to inspect the submarine before it is launched from its dry dock for sea trials, senior government officials told the Financial Times.

The deployment of a nuclear-powered submarine would be a major step for the Indian navy, which is anxious to maintain its authority in the shipping lanes of the Indian Ocean and Arabian Sea. The submarine could allow New Delhi to develop a nuclear weapon strike capability from the sea.

The submarine, the INS Chakra, has been produced at a cost of $2.9bn under the country’s Advanced Technology Vessel Programme and is expected to go into full service in two years’ time. The vessel is based on the Russian Akula-I class submarine, and is powered by a single pressurised water reactor. Its nuclear reactor has been developed at the Indira Gandhi Centre for Atomic Research at Kalpakkam in the southern state of Tamil Nadu.

India’s government is channelling spending towards the modernisation of India’s armed forces, to the ire of development agencies, who say the money would be better spent on poverty alleviation. The finance ministry raised military spending by 25 per cent in the national budget earlier this week.

Naval forces

India
55,000 troops (including 7,000 naval aviation and 1,200 marines)
16 submarines
8 destroyers
14 frigates

China
255,000 troops (including 26,000 naval aviation, 10,000 marines,
40,000 conscripts)
62 submarines
28 destroyers
50 frigates

Source: International Institute for Strategic Studies

India has plans to lease an Akula-class nuclear submarine from Moscow. It is also awaiting the delivery of a 30-year-old refitted Russian aircraft carrier, the Admiral Gorshkov . Additionally, India is building six French-designed Scorpene diesel submarines.

The country lags behind China’s naval might in the region. C. Uday Bhaskar, director of the Delhi-based National Maritime Foundation and a respected military analyst, said Beijing had a fleet of eight nuclear submarines, some with ballistic missile capability, although it lacked an aircraft carrier.

The Chinese navy has three times the number of combat vessels (about 630) as Indiaand a personnel strength of 225,000 — five times that of the Indian navy.

“This [the building of the nuclear submarine] is a historic and big step forward,” said C. Raja Mohan, professor of South Asian studies at the Nanyang Technological University in Singapore. “The project is quite indigenous and it opens the door for deploying nuclear weapons in the ocean.”

An official spokesman declined to confirm that Mr Singh, who is currently attending the Group of Eight summit in Italy, would visit Visakhapatnam.

But K. Santhanam, former chief of the Defence Research and Development Organisation, a state defence contractor, said: “This [visit] is partly a public relations exercise and partly to give a fillip to the [submarine] project.”

India embarked on its quest for a nuclear submarine in 1982. They are considered better than conventional diesel counterparts as they can go deeper and faster and spend lengthy times at sea.

Defence industry experts stressed that the commissioning of the INS Chakra may still have some way to go.

“The technology required to build a small but powerful and safe reactor that can perform through the difficulties of a wartime environment is no easy task,” said one. “Some of India’s great projects in defence have gone on for decades and been unbelievably costly.”

9 NMP names submitted

TWO creative industry leaders and a former national swimmer are among the nine names submitted by a Special Select Committee of Parliament for appointment by the President as Nominated Members of Parliament (NMPs).

They are three-time Sportswoman of the Year Joscelin Yeo, 30, fashion and media entrepreneur Calvin Cheng, 33, and arts manager Audrey Wong, 41.

The others who have been nominated for appointment later this month are Singapore Chinese Chamber of Commerce and Industry (SCCCI) president Teo Siong Seng, 54, consultancy firm boss Viswa Sadasivan, 49, labour unionist Terry Lee, 57, academic Paulin Tay Straughan, 46, Gerontological Society immediate past president Laurence Wee, 63, and Ernst & Young Advisory managing director Mildred Tan-Sim Beng Mei, 50.

They were whittled down from a list of 46 candidates nominated by different fields and professions as well as members of the public. Three of these names, said the committee, were ineligible as they did not meet the criteria of persons who have rendered distinguished public service, brought honour to Singapore, or distinguished themselves in their fields.

Their selection also means that two current NMPs seeking a second term, lawyer Siew Kum Hong, 34, and PricewaterhouseCoopers executive chairman Gautam Banerjee, 54, were not successful. The term of service of the current nine NMPs will expire on Friday, July 17.

The new NMPs will receive their instruments of appointment from the President at the Istana on July16, followed by a briefing in Parliament the next day. They will then take their oaths of allegiance in Parliament on July20, which is when Parliament next sits.

The eight-member select committee of MPs, chaired by Speaker of Parliament Abdullah Tarmugi, announced the line-up in a report to Parliament on Monday, a copy of which was obtained by The Straits Times. On appointment by President SR Nathan, the nine will serve a 21/2-year term.

They told The Straits Times they intend to raise a diverse range of issues in Parliament, ranging from those concerning families and the elderly, to the problems facing small- and medium-sized enterprises. Issues relating to culture, identity and how to keep youths engaged are also likely to take centre stage.

NMPs were first introduced in 1990, to give neutral, non-partisan feedback on issues. In July 1997, the Constitution was changed to allow the maximum number of NMPs to be raised from six to nine.

Six functional groups, as well as members of the public, are invited to put up candidates for NMPs. The six are: business and industry; the professions; the labour movement; social and community organisations; the media, arts and sports; and tertiary education institutions.

Fly Air India - Its the best!

Long delay for Air India Express flight

Passengers of an Air India Express flight have been made to wait for nearly 15 hours before flying off to their destination.

Flight IX681 to Tiruchirappalli and Chennai was supposed to take off at 6.30am on Sunday from Changi Airport Terminal 2.

But passengers were only allowed to board the plane at 8.30am, according to a MediaCorp hotline caller, Mr Arasu, who is one of the affected passengers.

On board, the pilot announced a further delay as one of the flight attendants had apparently fainted, said Mr Arasu.

"Another one and a half hours later, we went up to the captain and also asked the airlines people, 'what's going on?' They said the plane cannot fly with three attendants. They needed to have four. So they needed to fly someone from India," said Mr Arasu.

According to Mr Arasu, the passengers were then asked to alight and wait at the gate holding area. The saga took another twist at about noon when Mr Arasu found out that the rest of the crew could not work anymore as their shift had ended.

He said passengers were told to move to the transit waiting area but most passengers refused to do so.

However at about 5pm, airport authorities told Channel NewsAsia that they would bring the passengers over to the transit area and that passengers had been told that a flight would take them to their destination at 11pm.

Airport authorities said later in the night that those flying to Chennai would have left on the 9.10pm Air India Express flight while those to Tiruchirapally will leave at about 1.45am on Monday.

Ah Neh Monalisa

Da VinCi Code

Take Ah Neh Spices to combat Flu

Top Indian Spices

* Cinnamon bark rolled into sticks (quills), or by crushing it into powder used as a condiment in making food and various drinks, but it is believed to be beneficial for our health. In China, cinnamon has been used for long time to treat various illnesses, such as diarrhea, menstrual pains, nausea, the common cold, and flatulence. Furthermore, cinnamon is thought to contain properties that boost strength, circulation, and stamina in humans. Interestingly, it is especially beneficial for those who suffer from cold feet. Indian traditional medicine also employs cinnamon to treat indigestion, colds and diabetes.

Scientific research has shown the existence of a possible link between cinnamon and better levels of blood sugar. In a study made public in 2003, it was shown that people suffering from diabetes who consumed cinnamon pills every day reduced their cholesterol, blood glucose and triglycerides levels considerably.

* Caraway (seed) - Carum carvi (Umbelliferae)
One of the oldest spices, and historically known as a cure-all, caraway contains the volatile oil limonene. Caraway boosts the immune system and soothes irritated skin. When combined with olive oil caraway relieves bronchitis, colds, toothache, eye infections, sore throat, and cancer. Caraway seeds freshen the breath, and caraway oil stimulates milk production in lactating mothers. Caraway has antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties.

* Cardamom (pods) - Elletaria cardamomum (Zingiberaceae)
Cardamom is called "the Queen of all spices" and contains the antioxidant cineole. Cardamom is another spice regarded as a cure-all. Cardamom detoxifies the liver, strengthens the immune system and calms the nerves. Cardamom is used to fight kidney and stomach cancer, and also to treat digestive problems, asthma, and urinary tract infections. Cardamom seeds freshen the breath.

* Clove - Eugenia caryophyllus (Myrtaceae)
Clove contains the volatile oil eugenol, an antioxidant that is commonly used as a topical pain reliever for toothaches. Also used as a sore throat spray, to treat joint pain, and to reduce skin inflammation, clove even helps fight stomach cancer. Clove has antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties.

* Fennel (seed) - Foeniculum vulgare (Umbelliferae)
Fennel seeds contain several important antioxidants including anethole, kaempferol, quercetin, and rutin. Fennel also contains fiber, folate, potassium and vitamin C. Fennel strengthens the immune system, helps treat colon cancer, and reduces blood pressure. Fennel helps combat the toxic effect of food additives. Fennel has antimicrobial, antibacterial, and anti-tumor properties.

* Turmeric (root) - Curcuma longa (Zingiberaceae)
Turmeric, also known as curcumin contains curcuma, the pigment providing the bright yellow/orange color and antioxidant. A natural pain killer, turmeric detoxifies the liver, treats arthritis, reduces nervous tension and fights depression. Also used for psoriasis, turmeric boosts metabolic function and reduces body fat. Turmeric is used to treat leukemia, multiple sclerosis, melanoma and Alzheimer's disease. When turmeric is combined with cauliflower it is believed to help prevent cancers of the pancreas, prostate, liver and lungs. Turmeric has antiseptic, antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties.

These top spices are used to prepare Indian Curry.