Free Sex Change?
A rich man often went to Bangkok for the night life and before long he contracted sexual disease. So one day, he went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor examine his private part and said, "This is a very severe case. We have no other way but to cut it away. otherwise, it will spread and become worse." The businessman was shocked. the last thing he wanted was to have it cut and end his night life. He went to other doctors but all gave the same diagnosis. Desperate he thought, "Why don't I consult traditional Chinese medicine. They might have some surprises" So, the Chinese doctor gave him an examination and the doctor said," We don't have to cut. I'll give you herbs to rub." The rich man was so happy. "Wow no operation, you are better than western medicine. I'm amazed, So what is the exact secret?" The Chinese doctor said, "Just wait for three days. It will drop by itself."
Friday, September 23, 2005
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Just for laughes
A farmer is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his brother and says, "Bro, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bummer of my truck. He's still wriggling � what should I do?''
"In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush."
The farmer agrees and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Brother, I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."
"So what's the problem now?" his Bro snapped.
"The blue light on his bike is still flashing!"
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Just for laughes
Ah neh do you know why the Indian soccer team will never go into the world cup!
Why!?
Becos every time there is a corner...
They set up mama store.
Why!?
Becos every time there is a corner...
They set up mama store.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Jokes on Mat
If Singaporeans eat maggi mee and Indonesians eat indomee, then what do Malaysians eat?
Sodomee
Where is a Malay's favourite shopping spot?
Matro
What is a Malay's favourite tv show?
Ali Matbeal
What do you call a small, cheap Malay?
Econ mini mat
What do you call a Mat driving a police car?
A stupid car thief.
What do you call a Mat driving a Nissan (or any non-luxury car)?
A car thief.
When a normal female kills her foetus, it's called abortion.
What is it called when a Minah does the same thing?
Drug abuse prevention.
What do you call a young Mat ?
Mini Mat
What do you call a Mat bungee jumping?
Mat-Yo Yo
How do you confuse a Mat?
Put him in a circular room and ask him to relac one corner.
What do you call a Mat flying first class in an airplane throwing his weight around?
A hijacker.
What do you call a Mat driving a Porsche/Ferrari/Alpha Romeo that he bought with his own hard earned money?
A figment of your wildest imagination.
What do you call a Mat who's peddling a bicycle?
Also a Thief.
What do you call a Mat who's driving a Datsun 121?
Thief.
What do you call a Mat who's driving a Mercedes Benz?
Ahmad. (Chauffeur)
What do you call a Mat lawyer?
Matlock!
Sodomee
Where is a Malay's favourite shopping spot?
Matro
What is a Malay's favourite tv show?
Ali Matbeal
What do you call a small, cheap Malay?
Econ mini mat
What do you call a Mat driving a police car?
A stupid car thief.
What do you call a Mat driving a Nissan (or any non-luxury car)?
A car thief.
When a normal female kills her foetus, it's called abortion.
What is it called when a Minah does the same thing?
Drug abuse prevention.
What do you call a young Mat ?
Mini Mat
What do you call a Mat bungee jumping?
Mat-Yo Yo
How do you confuse a Mat?
Put him in a circular room and ask him to relac one corner.
What do you call a Mat flying first class in an airplane throwing his weight around?
A hijacker.
What do you call a Mat driving a Porsche/Ferrari/Alpha Romeo that he bought with his own hard earned money?
A figment of your wildest imagination.
What do you call a Mat who's peddling a bicycle?
Also a Thief.
What do you call a Mat who's driving a Datsun 121?
Thief.
What do you call a Mat who's driving a Mercedes Benz?
Ahmad. (Chauffeur)
What do you call a Mat lawyer?
Matlock!
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Just for laughes
Television
One day Ramli was looking to buy a television. (Let's say he couldn't try Courts because he got banned for being unable to continue his installment payments a tad too often.) So he tried this neighbourhood department store that sold a wide range of electrical appliances. Not knowing that the store was prejudiced against Mats, he went in and looked around.
When he finally found what he was looking for, he went up to the sales assistant and asked, "Eh brudder, how much this TV, ah?"
The sales assistant gave him a disgusted look and proclaimed, "Get out of this store, we don't provide service to low-life mats. Fuck off!"
Ramli was very sad, but he was determined to get his TV. So, fortunately for him, he had this make-up artist friend who could do wonders. Ramli was thus disguised as a Chinese, and very well too. It was like a total transformation took place. Even his own mother couldn't recognise him.
So off he went, back to the store, this time just wandering around casually, taking his time until the Sales Assistant came up to him and said, "Good afternoon, sir, may I help you with anything?"
Ramli, in his most distinguished manner, replied, "Yes please, I would like to know, this televisen how much?"
The sales assistant squinted and stared at Ramli for a few seconds, then exclaimed," Look, you stupid cock, I told you once and I'm telling you again that we don't serve people like you so why don't you just fuck off and don't ever come back!"
Ramli was shocked that the salesperson was able to recognise him when even his own mother almost chased him away thinking he was a stranger.
"Eh! how you know I who? My disguise gerek what, how come you still know?" asked the shocked Ramli.
The sales assistant looked at him disgustedly and said," Because, you bodoh, that's a microwave oven."
One day Ramli was looking to buy a television. (Let's say he couldn't try Courts because he got banned for being unable to continue his installment payments a tad too often.) So he tried this neighbourhood department store that sold a wide range of electrical appliances. Not knowing that the store was prejudiced against Mats, he went in and looked around.
When he finally found what he was looking for, he went up to the sales assistant and asked, "Eh brudder, how much this TV, ah?"
The sales assistant gave him a disgusted look and proclaimed, "Get out of this store, we don't provide service to low-life mats. Fuck off!"
Ramli was very sad, but he was determined to get his TV. So, fortunately for him, he had this make-up artist friend who could do wonders. Ramli was thus disguised as a Chinese, and very well too. It was like a total transformation took place. Even his own mother couldn't recognise him.
So off he went, back to the store, this time just wandering around casually, taking his time until the Sales Assistant came up to him and said, "Good afternoon, sir, may I help you with anything?"
Ramli, in his most distinguished manner, replied, "Yes please, I would like to know, this televisen how much?"
The sales assistant squinted and stared at Ramli for a few seconds, then exclaimed," Look, you stupid cock, I told you once and I'm telling you again that we don't serve people like you so why don't you just fuck off and don't ever come back!"
Ramli was shocked that the salesperson was able to recognise him when even his own mother almost chased him away thinking he was a stranger.
"Eh! how you know I who? My disguise gerek what, how come you still know?" asked the shocked Ramli.
The sales assistant looked at him disgustedly and said," Because, you bodoh, that's a microwave oven."
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Singh Combo Jokes
Q: Why are there so many Sikh money changers in Singapore?
A: Because they like to deal in Sing dollars.
Q: Why do Sikhs make good shopkeepers?
A: Because when you enter their shop to buy something, you are the buyer; which makes them the buyee.
Did you hear about the Sikh ambulance?
Its siren goes Babu, Babu, Babu... Baryee...Baryee...
What do u call a Bhai who wants to make a U-turn?
Kebelakangpu Singh
What do you call a Sikh driving a flashy red BMW who cuts into your lane?
Tiu Lei Ah Singh.
What about the Sikh who likes tao hway chwee?
Yeo Hiap Singh.
What do you call a Sikh who can swim underwater?
Kuldip Singh Gill.
What do you call a Bhai in a swimming pool?
Kuldip Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who drinks only beer?
Jasbir Singh.
What is the study of young bhais?
Microbhailogy.
What was Mrs. Singh called when she acted in a porno movie?
Hard Kaur!
What was Mrs. Singh called when she posed for Playboy?
Bohcheng Kaur1
What was Mrs. Singh called when she joined a Cantonese criminal gang?
Dai Kaur!
What do you call a Bhai wife-abuser?
Rotten to the Kaur!
What was the Six Million Dollar Bhai also called?
The Bhai-onic man!
What do you call a Bhai doctor?
Tantock Singh!
What do you call a Bhai in shock?
Surpri Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who comes to visit you every three days?
Sarjit Singh!
What do you call an idle Bhai?
Relac Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who keeps turning round in circles?
Pu Singh (pusing)
What do you call a Bhai who's lost?
Mis Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who lives between Singapore and Kuantan?
Mer Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who's coming only tomorrow?
Mahjit Singh!
What do you call an alcoholic Bhai?
Jagbir Singh!
What do you call a unique Bhai?
Justwan Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who likes Chinese herbs?
Gin Singh!
What do you call a Bhai with only one testicle?
Balwant Singh!
What do you call a Bhai on a tightrope?
Balan Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who celebrates Mother's Day?
Amarjit Singh!
What is the official mode of transport for Bhais?
Bhaicycles!
What do you call a young Bhai?
A Singh-let!
What heart surgery procedure did Mr. Singh undergo?
A bhaipass.
What is the study of Sikhs called?
Bhai-ology
Just Passing Through
A Sikh was on his way to B.Khalsa Club when he decided to take a short-cut through somebody's garden. The owner comes out angrily:
Owner: Hey, do you know you are trespassing?
Sikh: No, I'm Jaspar Singh.
How Singapore Got Its Name
When Raffles sailed up the Singapore River for the first time, he saw a Malay woman taking a bath in the river. She had left her clothes on the river bank. As Raffles sailed by, he saw a bhai sneak up and steal her clothes. The upset woman started shouting after the thief, "Singh kapoh! Singh kapoh!"
A: Because they like to deal in Sing dollars.
Q: Why do Sikhs make good shopkeepers?
A: Because when you enter their shop to buy something, you are the buyer; which makes them the buyee.
Did you hear about the Sikh ambulance?
Its siren goes Babu, Babu, Babu... Baryee...Baryee...
What do u call a Bhai who wants to make a U-turn?
Kebelakangpu Singh
What do you call a Sikh driving a flashy red BMW who cuts into your lane?
Tiu Lei Ah Singh.
What about the Sikh who likes tao hway chwee?
Yeo Hiap Singh.
What do you call a Sikh who can swim underwater?
Kuldip Singh Gill.
What do you call a Bhai in a swimming pool?
Kuldip Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who drinks only beer?
Jasbir Singh.
What is the study of young bhais?
Microbhailogy.
What was Mrs. Singh called when she acted in a porno movie?
Hard Kaur!
What was Mrs. Singh called when she posed for Playboy?
Bohcheng Kaur1
What was Mrs. Singh called when she joined a Cantonese criminal gang?
Dai Kaur!
What do you call a Bhai wife-abuser?
Rotten to the Kaur!
What was the Six Million Dollar Bhai also called?
The Bhai-onic man!
What do you call a Bhai doctor?
Tantock Singh!
What do you call a Bhai in shock?
Surpri Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who comes to visit you every three days?
Sarjit Singh!
What do you call an idle Bhai?
Relac Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who keeps turning round in circles?
Pu Singh (pusing)
What do you call a Bhai who's lost?
Mis Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who lives between Singapore and Kuantan?
Mer Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who's coming only tomorrow?
Mahjit Singh!
What do you call an alcoholic Bhai?
Jagbir Singh!
What do you call a unique Bhai?
Justwan Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who likes Chinese herbs?
Gin Singh!
What do you call a Bhai with only one testicle?
Balwant Singh!
What do you call a Bhai on a tightrope?
Balan Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who celebrates Mother's Day?
Amarjit Singh!
What is the official mode of transport for Bhais?
Bhaicycles!
What do you call a young Bhai?
A Singh-let!
What heart surgery procedure did Mr. Singh undergo?
A bhaipass.
What is the study of Sikhs called?
Bhai-ology
Just Passing Through
A Sikh was on his way to B.Khalsa Club when he decided to take a short-cut through somebody's garden. The owner comes out angrily:
Owner: Hey, do you know you are trespassing?
Sikh: No, I'm Jaspar Singh.
How Singapore Got Its Name
When Raffles sailed up the Singapore River for the first time, he saw a Malay woman taking a bath in the river. She had left her clothes on the river bank. As Raffles sailed by, he saw a bhai sneak up and steal her clothes. The upset woman started shouting after the thief, "Singh kapoh! Singh kapoh!"
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